They are annoyingly needy, co-dependant and so un-evolved that they chase after parked cars. They are a menace in our society and should be banned. Discuss.

[ 24 March 2006: Message edited by: 'lance ]

Dogs, on the other hand, are "Instant Reek - Just Add Water!".

Also, I once saw a dog, on garbage day, happily chowing down on the contents of a disposable diaper.

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Originally posted by Mr. Magoo:
My cat doesn't smell any more than my wall does

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I'm just amazed how many babblers can adore such a right-wing creature...?!

As for those little kitties: I think a lot of babblers would go "Awwww, how cute!" if they were shown the picture of Stephen Harper as a baby (of course without knowing it was him!), but I don't think I have to explain what has become of that cute, little baby...!

I might get some feline lovers upset with this post, but reading the negative attitude towards dogs just got me steaming
I don't hate cats and I'll be the last one to toss one from my lap (if they ever feel like lieing down there), but I couldn't let dog-slandering go by without standing up for (wo)men's best friend..!

Wroof!

[ 24 March 2006: Message edited by: Clog-boy ]

It can take years. By the time it is housetrained, it has become senile, and forgets again.

Now, with a cat, training time is under five days, if they don’t train themselves.

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Originally posted by Wee Mousie:
Have you ever tried to housebreak a dog?

It can take years.

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I did have one puppy who was fine at holding it in - until it was time to go out, when she got excited and pissed on the floor. We ended up having to pick her up to take her out, and she was almost 50 pounds. It turned out she was about to go into heat younger than anticipated, and her hormones were acting up.

Once she was spayed she was fine. Except that she thought she was a cat from having been raised with one.

A 70 pound cat when fully grown.

She never would stay off the couch, and only relinquished possession of it to me without a tug of war.

Muddy paw prints across the floor.

Dog snot prints on the windows.

Hair in the van that would never come out of the upholstery.

The vet bills.

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Originally posted by Papal Bull:

You obviously suck with dogs then

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For some reason though, when he can't control himself, he feels the appropriate place to do so is in the bed.

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No one here picks up doggie crap - it gets ground into the grass as fertilizer.

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Cats on the other hand don't need much. They are fun to watch as they go through the stages and are funny as hell. Kittens are nutty.
Cats suddenly don't know you. That sweet little thing that used to purr in your ear.
Pschopathic little buggers!

[ 25 March 2006: Message edited by: clersal ]

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No one here picks up doggie crap - it gets ground into the grass as fertilizer.

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There are some new, cute, rather coy ads around Toronto which go something like: "Your dog poop ends up in the lake."

I think it's an exhortation to scoop, but it's turning me off the idea of swimming this summer.

Dogs. Yappy, smelly, messy, drooly, undignified. And no one has yet mentioned the humping issue. Not tactful or decorous in the slightest.

The first dog in my life was Queenie, a Dalmatian, who as a puppy liked to sit in my mother’s lap. At five years, she still liked to sit in my mother’s lap (just the rear haunches) with her head sticking up about a foot higher than my mother. The only time we tried to tie her up in the basement when we had company, she crapped inside my father’s shoe.

If you let Peanut, a Spaniel, loose outside, she’d find something foul to roll in, and come back smelling like a wolverine.

Rex, a Gordon Setter, taught himself to lift his leg high enough to pee into my first car, an MG.

Whenever Tiny, a Beagle, got the run of the house he truly ran through the house, and someone would have to follow, straightening mats, knocked-over chairs, and pick up scattered knickknacks. He eventually wore a donut-shaped path into the recreation room carpeting.

The latest dog in my life is Peggy, a Boston Terrier, who gets so excited whenever I come home that she dances about my feet, piddling all over the hall, and that when I’ve only gone out to fetch the mail.

Right, dogs are easy to train.

Prior to that we had an adorable little mutt and a Chinese Shar-Pei. We've also had Bassett Hounds running around and have had visits from Irish Wolfhounds.

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Originally posted by skdadl:

Seriously, if I could have a dog it would be a little sausage dog. They seem to me the one kind of dog that is not built for trouble. What kind of trouble could a dachshund get into?

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My parents had a Wirehaired dachshund, named Kelly. She was the terror of the neighbourhood. Dobermans and Rottweilers would take a detour if they saw Kelly coming around the corner...

When introducing new people into our house, we had to go through a certain ritual to get Kelly acquinted with new people. Once, someone entered the hallway and the dog escaped before we could inform him about the ritual. Kelly sprinted into the hallway, bit the guy in the ankle and near the groin(!) and my mother picked her up and threw her out. It went so fast, the guy's first reaction was: "What colour was that dog?"

Shove off, you trolls! Particularly you, Boom Boom! And take yer lice-covered, crap-factory cur with ya.

Dogs are yappy and loud, smelly and gross, stupid and crazy, annoying and pathetic.

Dogs run headfirst into doors. They bark at nothing for hours. They chase their own tails. They chase everything. They eat garbage and defacate on your floor. They bite children. They require constant attention. Did I mention they smell like dead fish and crap? They get burrs in their hair. They frighten away neighbours and mail carriers. They have rabies. They have worms. They bite their own wounds, so you have to put those lampshade cones over their heads so they don't reopen wounds that they probably caused because they're so stupid. They drool. They can hear extremely high frequencies, but they can't hear you shouting their names. They do everything they're told, except when they randomly decide not to. They're always in trouble. They get hair everywhere. They go on the couch no matter how often you tell them not to. They hump your leg. They hump your friend's leg. They hump the legs of potential business associates. They're aggressive. They require cookies for even the simplest tasks.

Dogs are horrid, nasty, dirty, smelly, ugly, hairy, vicious beasts.

Aw, who's a sweetie?:

[ 25 March 2006: Message edited by: MartinArendt ]

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Seriously, if I could have a dog it would be a little sausage dog. They seem to me the one kind of dog that is not built for trouble. What kind of trouble could a dachshund get into?

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We lived with a guy whose dog hurt itself so often he had to buy dog insurance to manage the vet bills. This black lab did things like running headlong into a thicket and badly scratching a cornea.

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Originally posted by MartinArendt:
They hump your leg. They hump your friend's leg. They hump the legs of potential business associates.

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My dog only humps other dogs.

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Originally posted by Sineed:
Speaking of running, have you ever noticed that cats only run if they have a reason?

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Originally posted by Clog-boy:
Well, I've seen cats go berserk and start running around an appartment for like 5 minutes, for no apparent reason. . . .

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The nine o’clock crazies occur because cats expend a lot of energy in hunting, stalking and chasing down prey, the rest of the time they sleep a lot, storing up energy.

Cats are nocturnal, but house cats usually aren’t let out at night, so they no longer have reason, or opportunity to hunt, stalk, and chase their prey anymore. They do, however, have a lot of leftover energy at the end of the day. To get rid of that excess energy, they expend it through sudden, erratic, exercise.

Then, they go right back to sleep.

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Originally posted by Sineed:
I always thought it was because cats can hear things we can't, like maybe somebody was using an appliance in a house or apartment nearby

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Or messages from their evil overlord instructing them to annoy us and deprive us of sleep before the invasion.

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If you take a dog, it's a loyal, social and affectionate. Clearly characteriscs attributed to the politcal left, if you ask me.
Now if you take cats, they're known for their arrogance and independence. If you'd ask me again, those are clearly trades a lot of people here (including me) would like to attribute to the politcal right.
I'm just amazed how many babblers can adore such a right-wing creature...?!

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Wrong, wrong, WRONG!

Dogs are in no way, left-wing!
Consider:

1) Dogs tend to be hierarchical, follow the leader types, also worth noting is in their wild wolf condition (canis lupus), this pack leader was almost always a male

2) They tend to hump the the legs of people anytime, anywhere WITHOUT an invitation

3) They tend to be overly aggressive and given to displays of their "toughness" (growling, baring teeth, etc.) towards strange humans

Not exactly leftist traits are they?

Now cats, OTOH:

1) Do not believe in a hierachical structure for their society

2) In their wildcat condition, there is no patriarchal dominance...the female is just as independent as the male

3) While they are carnivores and well equipped to fight, a cat will generally avoid fighting, displays of aggression etc, when meeting strange humans

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I can rub my face in his furry belly and smell nothing.

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Originally posted by Boom Boom:
I just watched "Because of Winn Dixie" again. I'd love to adopt a dog that can smile like that.

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Mousie: I just want to say one word to you - just one word.

Boom Boom: Yes sir.

Mousie: Are you listening?

Boom Boom: Yes I am.

Mousie: 'Animatronics.'

Boom Boom: Exactly how do you mean?

Mousie: There's a great future in Animatronics. Think about it. Will you think about it?

Boom Boom: Yes I will.

Dogs were our friends then - they barked and howled and snapped at the evil in the darkness and kept them away from us while we fled or figured out how to defend our own.

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Originally posted by Fidel:

Kitty still has some of those 40 million years of imperialist killer in him, don't you forget it all you cat lovers. Charade they are.

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That was until they figured out that it was easier to have us fetch their food for them, rather than just treat us as food.

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Originally posted by Fidel:
They live for the hunt.

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Originally posted by CWW:
The more people I meet the more I love my dog

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Originally posted by Wee Mousie:

That really isn't that much of a recommendation though, is it?

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Originally posted by Reality. Bites.:
I didn't see the movie, but isn't it more likely the smile was digital animation, rather than animatronics?

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Yes: Film Techniques

Scenes that included the dog were accomplished using a team of three similar animals. Lindenlaub notes that each setup was broken down and laid out so that the dog could perform and earn a treat. In a couple scenes, the script called for the dog to smile, which was accomplished by Stan Winston Digital. The dog was shot against blue screen for another scene in which a bird lands on his head.

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With apologies to Zmag, this cartoon sums up much of what is being said in this thread, in the US context.

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Originally posted by CWW:
You haven't met my dog!

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Originally posted by Boom Boom:
Now, that said, dogs actually can smile because of the way the mouth is formed, and then opened. They can do a really goofy-looking smile with their tongue hanging out. Humans do have a tendency to ascribe mannerisms to animals that probably aren't really there.

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On the other hand, doggy smiles generally do accompany a happy dog who's been running about having a fine old time with bright, alert eyes. As well, it's a gesture that's greeted positively by people, thus reinforcing its use - much like the human smile in babies.

My ex taught my old dog a close-mouthed smile (more like a grimace) that was a result of his desire not to be licked to death in greeting. His mouth was closed but his lips were opened and curved slightly upwards.

The traditional doggy grin is definitely cuter.

Click on "Images" and you'll get page after page of them. Engou to drive these dog haters crazy.

Click on "Images" and you'll get page after page of them. Engou to drive these dog haters crazy.

Fantastic! Many thanks.

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Originally posted by Boom Boom:
I at least tolerate cats, and actually find them good companions for the infirm

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Originally posted by arborman:

So do dogs, they are just hopelessly incompetent at it. Chasing a bird, for heaven's sake. Much better to sit in a comfortable spot and wait for the bird to come into pouncing distance.

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Originally posted by Fidel:
I think they can revert to wild instincts almost like but not the same way as "domestic" cats.

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Originally posted by Reality. Bites.:

My dog doesn't have the slightest idea that animals are food. Being a border collie/German Shepherd cross the desire to hunt and kill seems long gone.

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That's nice, RB. I like dogs. I've seen the best of them turn into, maybe not anything close to Cujo, but something wilder than normal, when they run with a pack. They're your best bodyguard against bears in the bush. I've heard stories about dogs defending their owners to the death against bear attacks up north. I had a black bear follow me around for a few days in the bush. I always knew where the bear was because of Leo, a Husky-German Shepherd mix. Some days, he made some really ferocious sounds. He always came back without a scratch. Damn good dog was Leo.

[ 29 March 2006: Message edited by: Fidel ]

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Originally posted by Fidel:
That's nice, RB. I like dogs. I've seen the best of them turn into, maybe not anything close to Cujo, but something wilder than normal, when they run with a pack.

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Like the current crop of Conservatives in the House?

[ 29 March 2006: Message edited by: Boom Boom ]

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Originally posted by Reality. Bites.:
Seems to me Boom Boom that they're actually way more rapid as individuals than as a pack.

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I dunno, since forming the govt, the Cons seem to be more rabid (dismissive of anything but their own agenda, and forgetting they form a very small minority) and certainly more contemptuous of the public (look at the muzzling of the Cabinet by Harper) than before.

[ 29 March 2006: Message edited by: Boom Boom ]

Honestly, it would bite you *while purring*.

And that's the crux of the matter for me: Domesticating a dog doesn't fundamentally change its personality--you just become the 'pack leader'. Domesticating a cat, well, let's just say there's a reason most cats will freeze and go limp if you grab the scruff of their necks (a kitten response enabling them to be carried).

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Originally posted by aRoused:
I point the finger squarely at a combination of no longer having a paper route, and Mom's cat growing up and deciding it no longer liked people. For the final 14 years of its life.

Honestly, it would bite you *while purring*.

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A little girl of my acquaintance grew up with such a cat (departed now-- the cat, not the girl).... When you'd ask this young lady, 'what does the kitty say?' she'd bare her teeth and HISSSSSSSSSSS.

[ 30 March 2006: Message edited by: Crippled_Newsie ]

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Honestly, it would bite you *while purring*.

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But that's a love bite, aRoused.

All my guys do that, each in his/her own way. Minnie likes to come and put me back to sleep in the middle of the night by crawling up on my chest, purring while I scratch her ears, and then gnawing on my fingers, which she knows will make me laugh. And some of that biting is pretty hard - jaws are powerful. But I do laugh, and she is happy.

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But that's a love bite, aRoused.

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It's okay, but I'd likely go back to dogs given the choice - and an appropriate environment. But I imagine I'm in the core of the city for the forseeable future, and so there's no way I'd ever have a dog.

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Originally posted by Lard Tunderin' Jeezus:
Stupid ideas from the Toronto Star: Putting dogs before people.

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Yeah, crazy:

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Dogs deserve more places to roam. But just as baseball players in a park cannot expect to put home plate in the middle of a crowded playground, dog owners clearly need reasonable restrictions on their leash-free use of city space.

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In our neighborhood, it's fairly common practice to put furniture out on the curb for scavenging. (While not a poor area, there's quite a mix of upper & lower incomes.) Anything in working order that's left out disappears fairly quickly.

So we put out an Ikea foam chair/bed (a chair that folds out into a bed). It wasn't expensive but it was in good shape, not even stained.

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Originally posted by bagkitty:
Dogs, genetic engineering at its worst. The only thing they are suitable for is working in a non-union shop: "yes sir, make you happy sir, thank you sir, right away sir, please hit me harder sir..."

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You've clearly never had a sight hound, remarkably cat like.

I've got one myself.

[ 08 October 2008: Message edited by: M. Spector ]

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Originally posted by Papal Bull:

You've clearly never had a sight hound, remarkably cat like.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/drpenfield/2704545796/

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Or an English setter... Not exactly cat-like, but our setter and our setter/lab cross both have minds of their own and a very stubborn streak coupled with the attachment-to-the-humans trait. Gorgeous critters, too.

I also have a cat that follows at my heels wherever I go and lets the dog groom her. Penelope (cat) and Luna (dog) are devoted buddies.

ETA: Lovely dog, M. Spector. I had a labrador about that shade of copper when I was growing up.

[ 08 October 2008: Message edited by: Timebandit ]

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Originally posted by Reality. Bites.:
Most dogs will pick it up quickly enough just by being taken outside regularly.

I did have one puppy who was fine at holding it in - until it was time to go out, when she got excited and pissed on the floor. We ended up having to pick her up to take her out, and she was almost 50 pounds. It turned out she was about to go into heat younger than anticipated, and her hormones were acting up.

Once she was spayed she was fine. Except that she thought she was a cat from having been raised with one.

A 70 pound cat when fully grown.

Whose idea of fun was to creep along on her belly and pounce on other animals.

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Originally posted by al-Qa'bong:
Aw, come on, couldn't I at least zap one of these somnambulist dog owners with a slingshot?

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Anything with sufficient velocity and mass to make you happy is probably illegal. Water from a hose you might be able to pass off as "oh, I didn't see you standing there with your dog crapping in my flowerbed, sorry". I am not certain what would happen if you had a dye pack attached to the hose at this time, you might be able to claim that the dye was actually a fertilizer for your flowers.