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White quickly began to see a common pattern in the "sluts' " recollections of what happened. All of them had attended white, suburban high schools. Many of them had been sexually abused at home. All of them had been extroverts, perhaps defiantly so, unafraid to dye their hair pink, for example, or to swear. Often the slut rumours began to swirl around the new girl, who had transferred into the high school, as Anna Wanna had, posing a threat to the established hierarchy.

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[ May 05, 2002: Message edited by: SamL ]

This thread is about the whole phenomena of girls who get singled out and known as "sluts" when they're in high school.

I was just reading something at Marigold that was really interesting, on this topic:

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Guys get scared by girls who use big words.

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Edited for clarity???

[ May 06, 2002: Message edited by: sherpafish ]

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Not all of us, some of us seek them out.

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Few and far between, my friend.... I've seen males break land speed records after no more than two sentences....

[ May 06, 2002: Message edited by: Zoot Capri ]

And did not Nellie McClung talk about the subject of using threats to keep people in line. She told one story of a woman who told her servant that if she ever left the woman's roof that it would put her "virtue" in question, and was thus able to keep the servant working for her at a pitance. On the same page she talks of a female theif asking a judge for leniancy because she was of virtuous charactor (not a slut). And then there is Margaret Atwood's poem "A Woman's issue."

It seems that this prostitute-madonna complex has been used to control the movement of too many women. And if someone hires a secretary - does it matter more whether she is a slut or a virgin ... or that she can type? It is divide an conquor and do as we say or you can end up like her?

The weirdest untrue slut story I ever heard was when whatsherface accused KH of doing it with EF in the furnature section of the BAY. I also remember EF trying to up his stature by telling everybody that it was true. No one actually believed that it happened anyway since it would have been impossible. There were more sales clerks on staff in those days.

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An aside, I was on the Lewis thread and thinking that the phrase "he was a handful" was code for hyperactivity since people don't use the term "handful" when they are not talking hyperactive ... and then I thought of breasts.

[ May 06, 2002: Message edited by: vaudree ]

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The ones who run screaming wouldn't have been much fun, is the way I look at it.

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As do I... The most fun you can have with that type is making them run.

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As do I... The most fun you can have with that type is making them run.

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Not that I have anything against roll-playing.

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being a slut/sexually available is a bad thing

men don't like smart women

women don't like men who like smart women

being a slut has something to do with how you dress

there is no double standard for male and female promiscuity

I'm seeing a groovy guy who likes smart women, and I really dig him. So there.

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Cara Sposa uses big words in four languages.

Hubba hubba.

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You're so cute, Arch.

Talking about whether or not men like smart women has kind of hit home for me. My ex-husband, while we were dating, used to tell me how fantastic it was that I was so smart. It was the most attractive thing about me, he said. He just loved me because I had a mind of my own, I was intelligent, the smartest girl he had ever known, et-flattering-cetera.

Then once we were married, he hated it when I read books because that seemed to him to be "lazy" and took me away from him. He hated it when I took any different positions from him and said I did it just to spite him. He didn't say it in words, but he resented the hell out of the fact that when we both went back to school a couple of years ago, I got straight A's while he scraped by and then say that his courses were a lot harder while mine were just bird courses, easy credits. Whenever he saw that he was losing an argument with me, he would just end it by calling me stupid or dumb.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't think there are many guys out there who would say that they like stupid women. Most guys will TELL you they like their women to be smart. However, there are still guys out there who claim that, but then resent the hell out of it when you use your intelligence to be autonomous or to have a differing opinion.

Thank goodness there are so many other men who genuinely DO like smart women.

[ May 07, 2002: Message edited by: Michelle ]

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Whenever he saw that he was losing an argument with me, he would just end it by calling me stupid or dumb.

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No one likes losing all the time. But women take it out on themselves while men take it out on others. He seemed to like smart women only as long as he could convince himself that he was smarter.

Everyone has to have something they can admire in the other or they both lose. He seemed to only admire his own reflection in your eyes.

And that thing about calling you down backfired. The more he called you down, the more your realized that no matter how down and worthless you felt - that he was always beneath you. That no matter how stupid you felt, he was always stupider.

But anyhow...back to slutdom. Too bad there can't be a "slut" campaign in high schools, you know? Awareness about body issues, about sexuality, feminism...

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When I took intro to women's studies, the frosh girls, fresh out of high school, were just astounded at how relevant the issues were to their lives, and there were TONS of stories about how this and that had happened to them or their acquaintences in high school. It was like a light was going on in their minds - the connections they were making were written all over their faces.

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I may come across here as strident at times, but never assume I'm the type to be too egotistical to change a position when facts contrary to mine are presented.

Gender aside for a moment, it's unbelievably liberating to say stuff like "I didn't know; I don't know; Gee, I never thought of that angle before."

And, when someone finally does say something that causes me to say those things, I will say them.

Seriously, on the subject of things slutty, I've learned it has much more to do with female socializing than male "locker room talk".

I grew up without sisters, and without a whole lot of interchange with girls until I got into high school. I was perhaps too awestruck by girls. To me, they presented unfathomable mysteries and I think I thought too much to ever relax around girls and just act in a normal, friend like manner.

So, I was pretty much blind to the seething undercurrents that was the female social scene in both elementary and high school.

Skip ahead to my three daughters, and I've become aware of just how mean girls can be to each other. It seems to start about grade 7, and I've seen my share of it. My youngest seems to be getting through this unscathed, but she's kind of an exception to the rule. Or, she has bigger items on her plate to deal with right now.

I think the "slut" label is often applied by some girls/women to control female sexuality. Some girls want to maintain the bidding price for their virtue amoung men by making those girls/women who would underbid them social outcasts. They feel threatened by "sluts", so they attack them.

[ May 07, 2002: Message edited by: Tommy_Paine ]

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Guys get scared by girls who use big words

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defenestrate = throwing someone or something out of a window.

[ May 10, 2002: Message edited by: N.R.KISSED ]

What I stated was that I would only run from a woman using big words under one circumstance.

Scenario: I am with my beloved, standing by the window, whilst listening to Chet Baker. My paramour gets a strange look in her eye and mentions defenestration. Fearing I might meet a fate similar to Chet I run for it.

moral: I am a big fan of articulate and sexually assertive women.