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Author Topic: Are dairy cows secretly gay nymphomaniacs?
Hephaestion
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posted 01 March 2005 12:08 AM      Profile for Hephaestion   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
queerday.com tells us

quote:
Scientists have discovered that dairy cow herds can be intensely sexual. "Cows look calm, but really they are gay nymphomaniacs," John Webster said. The professor of animal husbandry at Bristol also claims that cows have a secret mental life in which they bear grudges, nurture friendships and become excited over intellectual challenges. They also struggle with fear, pain and anxiety, but can be incredibly happy when farmers provide the right conditions.

Who'd'a thunk it!

Original source: The Times online


From: goodbye... :-( | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Seiltänzer
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posted 02 March 2005 04:33 AM      Profile for Seiltänzer     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
They also like having their nipples sucked by a machine. Now that's kinky.
From: UK (né Toronto) | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
Anchoress
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posted 02 March 2005 04:50 AM      Profile for Anchoress     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Seiltänzer:
They also like having their nipples sucked by a machine. Now that's kinky.

What evidence do you have that they 'like' it? I guess they like it better than, say, having their udders explode from excess turgidity, but I'm sure they'd *prefer* to have their nipples sucked by their own offspring.

PS: that Times article is a real heartbreaker. Cool, but sad.

[ 02 March 2005: Message edited by: Anchoress ]


From: Vancouver babblers' meetup July 9 @ Cafe Deux Soleil! | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged
Seiltänzer
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posted 02 March 2005 05:50 AM      Profile for Seiltänzer     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I take it you're a vegan.

I'm not condoning the breeding and selection techniques of dairy farmers. It was only meant to be a joke. That seems to have failed miserably.


From: UK (né Toronto) | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
brebis noire
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posted 02 March 2005 10:10 AM      Profile for brebis noire     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
If we treated our farm animals with more consideration, we'd all be so much healthier for it. I understand why so many people become vegetarians and vegans; it's very distressful for thoughtful people, when they become aware of the conditions in which pigs, chickens, feedlot cattle et al. are kept, to think that continually consuming their bodies is somehow good for us. Since I have a farm, I don't have to be a vegetarian, but I've made a pact with myself that when I leave here, I'll stop eating meat and eggs or else buy directly from the farm.

And about cows' nymphomania...dairy producers often use their pre-heat humping behaviour (especially in heifers that are kept loose in groups) to know when to inseminate, because there's only an 18-hr fertile window every three weeks, and producers keep all kinds of statistics that tell them exactly how low they need to keep their numbers to remain "profitable". That's what's depressing about it all, I think.


From: Quebec | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged
thwap
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posted 02 March 2005 10:19 AM      Profile for thwap        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Whilst there are slaughterhouses, there will be battlefields"

...........Tolstoy


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Seiltänzer
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posted 02 March 2005 10:43 AM      Profile for Seiltänzer     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Is Tolstoy suggesting the existence of slaughterhouses is responsible for warfare, or is this taken out of context?
From: UK (né Toronto) | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
thwap
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posted 02 March 2005 10:45 AM      Profile for thwap        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Seiltänzer:
Is Tolstoy suggesting the existence of slaughterhouses is responsible for warfare, or is this taken out of context?

The former, I believe. Tolstoy was a vegetarian.


From: Hamilton | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Bacchus
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posted 02 March 2005 11:31 AM      Profile for Bacchus     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Hmm what does it say considering Hitler was a vegetarian?
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Hephaestion
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posted 02 March 2005 11:37 AM      Profile for Hephaestion   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
That only Vegans can be trusted?
From: goodbye... :-( | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Bacchus
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posted 02 March 2005 12:05 PM      Profile for Bacchus     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Actually he might have been a vegen too from the descriptions. But if we outlaw meat then only outlaws will have meat??

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Seiltänzer
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posted 02 March 2005 12:13 PM      Profile for Seiltänzer     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Whilst there are battefields, there will be slaughterhouses, seems more logical. While man [sic] can willfully inflict suffering upon his fellow man, then animals can expect the same.

The original quotation seems to suggest that man must cease slaughtering animals before he will cease slaugthering his fellow men. This is farcical.


From: UK (né Toronto) | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
Seiltänzer
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posted 02 March 2005 12:19 PM      Profile for Seiltänzer     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Bacchus:
Hmm what does it say considering Hitler was a vegetarian?

Are pigeons a vegetable? Apparently stuffed pigeon was his favourite dish.


From: UK (né Toronto) | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
Bacchus
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posted 02 March 2005 12:37 PM      Profile for Bacchus     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Hmm no he was a big vegetarian/vegan and very much pro-animal rights. He would rail about emat eaters and had several bizarre diet plans including craploads of herbal 'health' pills
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shaolin
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posted 02 March 2005 02:39 PM      Profile for shaolin     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Where do you get all this stuff about animal rights, Bacchus? From what I know, he did mostly stick to a vegetarian diet in the later years of his life but it had nothing to do with animal rights. He started having stomach problems and began restricting his diet to try and remedy it.
From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Contrarian
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posted 02 March 2005 02:44 PM      Profile for Contrarian     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Are you still talking about Hitler? He used to take a medicine with arsenic in it; unfortunately not enough to carry him off.
From: pretty far west | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged
Bacchus
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posted 02 March 2005 02:44 PM      Profile for Bacchus     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Mostly from transcripts of his 'table talk' and recollections from others on his staff. They recalled his diatribes for animals.

Its why Frau Junge had such troubles in later life trying to juxtapose her knowledge of the man with the rest of the worlds


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shaolin
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posted 02 March 2005 02:51 PM      Profile for shaolin     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Yeah, still Hitler. Here's an article that touches quite a lot on it. Albeit, not the most unbiased source but there's quite a lot of similar info out there - PETA
From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Bacchus
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posted 02 March 2005 04:27 PM      Profile for Bacchus     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
*grins* definitely not unbiased. Payne is NOT considered definitive (not that it means he is wrong, jsut hes no way considered definitive and is sometimes hooked up with Irving is estimation).

Hmm and I recall Speer's works specifically mentioning his vegetarianism, I'll have to look that up tonite in his books.


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Doug
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posted 02 March 2005 04:36 PM      Profile for Doug   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Okay, so now cows are gay nymphomaniacs who eat like Hitler. Sounds like they should be invited on the Jerry Springer Show.
From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Bacchus
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posted 02 March 2005 05:50 PM      Profile for Bacchus     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Hmm Gay Nazi Nymphomaniac Cows

Sounds like a definite Fox hit sitcom to me


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Reverend Blair
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posted 02 March 2005 05:53 PM      Profile for Reverend Blair   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Ya know, I grew up around Holstein cows. None of this surprises me in the least.

quote:
Gay Nazi Nymphomaniac Cows
would have been one of the kinder appraisals most days.

From: Winnipeg | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
John K
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posted 08 March 2005 10:18 PM      Profile for John K        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Another shocking revelation about cattle. On the farm I was raised, we kept one bull to service the entire 100 plus cow herd. A breeding ground (pun fully intended) for lesbianism among cows if you ask me. Perhaps bored British scientists may wish to investigate.
From: Edmonton | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged
maestro
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posted 09 March 2005 07:57 AM      Profile for maestro     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
I'm not condoning the breeding and selection techniques of dairy farmers.

Wow! I had no idea they were selectively breeding dairy farmers now. Who woulda thought.


From: Vancouver | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged

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