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» babble   » walking the talk   » feminism   » child custody after 18

   
Author Topic: child custody after 18
lost again
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 8402

posted 04 March 2005 06:18 PM      Profile for lost again     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I have a daughter who is 18. She did not complete high school(55 credits) She is registered to take 1 course a semester now. Doesn't talk to me. Lives with her mother. And I am still resposible for child support for her. I can't get any information from the school about her attendance or marks because she is 18. But hey she is still a "child" of the marriage in the courts eyes. Basically as long as she is register at a school, I pay.
From: edmonton | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
faith
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 4348

posted 04 March 2005 07:18 PM      Profile for faith     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Why wouldn't you want to support your daughter?
I have 3 daughters and 2 are 18 or over and my husband and I continue to support them , as long as they are trying to finish their education why wouldn't we? The kids work and save their own money as well but we help as much as we can.
If you bring a child into this world the least you can do is equip them to stand on their own by ensuring their education.

From: vancouver | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
lost again
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 8402

posted 04 March 2005 07:32 PM      Profile for lost again     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I believe in helping out my daughter with her education as long as she is putting her best foot forward. But if you don't attend school you are trying your best. She won't even get a part time job. And as far as i have been told the class is 1 hour a day. If she was doing a full time day a school and attending, I would be truly supportive. If I was not divorced I would be able to set ground rules for her. But when you are divorced the courts set the rules for you. Is this fair? What I am saying is all she has to do is enroll for a course. There is nothing that the courts say about attending the course. The say if she enrolls the intend is there.
From: edmonton | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
kuri
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Babbler # 4202

posted 04 March 2005 07:36 PM      Profile for kuri   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Just out of curiousity, is she your biological daughter or adopted?

I tend to be of the opinion that having children comes with certain responsibilities, including support for education. The other, more specific issues you might discuss with her mother, if that's possible.


From: an employer more progressive than rabble.ca | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
lost again
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 8402

posted 04 March 2005 08:07 PM      Profile for lost again     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
What difference does it make Adopted or Biological. To me there is none. There is no talking to her mother. I tried that in her High School years. So tell me how would feel if you supported your child through her education and then found out she never attended or passed. What would you do?
From: edmonton | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
kuri
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Babbler # 4202

posted 04 March 2005 08:10 PM      Profile for kuri   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I was just curious. It could speak to the nature of the relationship.

I would still support her. I wouldn't have a child unless I could love him/her unconditionally in the first place, though.

[ 04 March 2005: Message edited by: dokidoki ]


From: an employer more progressive than rabble.ca | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
James
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 5341

posted 04 March 2005 08:18 PM      Profile for James        Edit/Delete Post
lost again, could you clear up some confusion here. Your profile says specifies your gender as "female". In you opening post, though, you say

quote:
Doesn't talk to me. Lives with her mother. [/QB]

Now, allowing that it is possible for the child of two gay women to have two mothers, O.K. But then you second post you say " if I wasn't divorced ...", which would make you very, very recently divorced, as the law permitting gay divorce was passed only about a month ago. And that being so, then child custody, access and support issues would have been very recently examined in the court, no ?


From: Windsor; ON | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
kuri
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 4202

posted 04 March 2005 08:19 PM      Profile for kuri   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Haha... that's what I found weird...if he had said "biological" or that the child was an accident... but the gay divorce one works too. Well done.

[ 04 March 2005: Message edited by: dokidoki ]


From: an employer more progressive than rabble.ca | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
lost again
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 8402

posted 04 March 2005 08:22 PM      Profile for lost again     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
So what you are saying is you would keep paying for her education even though she was not attending. Man,all I can say is what are you teaching a adult(child)by doing this. So far it hasn't worked for her.
From: edmonton | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
lost again
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 8402

posted 04 March 2005 08:27 PM      Profile for lost again     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Sorry for the confusion everyone. My wife and I use this same log in. I am a male
From: edmonton | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
James
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 5341

posted 04 March 2005 08:39 PM      Profile for James        Edit/Delete Post
I am not a moderator, but generally speaking, mens' concerns about the fairness of child support is not considered a "feminist" issue. Perhaps a moderator will move it to another forum for you. Or perhaps not.
From: Windsor; ON | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Loretta
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 222

posted 04 March 2005 10:32 PM      Profile for Loretta     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I agree, James. I would love to contribute to this discussion but don't feel comfortable doing so here.
From: The West Kootenays of BC | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wilf Day
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 3276

posted 04 March 2005 10:51 PM      Profile for Wilf Day     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by lost again:
I have a daughter who is 18. She is registered to take 1 course a semester now.

I don't know the laws of Alberta, but in Ontario, you would not be required to pay support for an 18-year-old unless she was enrolled in a full time program of education. Our schools define a full-time student as three courses per semester, assumed a semestered school where most students take four courses.

The only way you should, in my view, be required to pay support is if:
1. She has been, and will be, a full-time student but needs only one more credit to graduate; or
2. She has some unusual disability which prevents her from taking more than one or two courses per semester, and the school recommended she take just one; or
3. Maybe, if your separation agreement provides for a greater obligation than the law would have otherwise provided; or
4. Maybe, if her mother has undertaken to support her and the court feels you would have helped too if you were still together. (In Ontario, this is actually a seldom-used ground for spousal support, an indirect form of child support.)

(Why is this thread still in the feminism forum?)


From: Port Hope, Ontario | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
James
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 5341

posted 04 March 2005 11:20 PM      Profile for James        Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by Wilfred Day:

I don't know the laws of Alberta, but in Ontario ...


Since there has been a divorce action, I'd have thought the federal Divorce Act definitions and provisions would apply. It was use of the "d" word that told me conclusively that things could not be what they initially seemed, regardless of the vagaries of Alberta law.


From: Windsor; ON | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Wilf Day
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 3276

posted 04 March 2005 11:31 PM      Profile for Wilf Day     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by James:
Since there has been a divorce action, I'd have thought the federal Divorce Act definitions and provisions would apply.

Possibly, although almost every divorce I see is a claim for divorce alone, leaving issues like child support under the Family Law Act where they were dealt with soon after the separation. If the Alberta man responds, perhaps he will tell us which act his order is under.

(Why is this thread still in the feminism forum?)


From: Port Hope, Ontario | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Anchoress
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 4650

posted 05 March 2005 02:40 AM      Profile for Anchoress     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by Wilfred Day:

(Why is this thread still in the feminism forum?)

Has Audra responded to the email you sent her asking her to move it?


From: Vancouver babblers' meetup July 9 @ Cafe Deux Soleil! | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged

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