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Topic: Why Do Lesbians Batter?
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janew
webmistress
Babbler # 199
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posted 28 April 2003 06:04 PM
That's an interesting article on a touchy subject. I think that often, in cases of violence in relationships, the focus becomes how to assign blame. I've always had trouble with the fact that sometimes a man who is himself victimized by society (for racist or classist reasons) is handled the same way as a man who is in an unquestionable position of authority, already. It's not that one is more acceptable than the other - it's just that the abuse is probably symptomatic of a different dynamic in different power relationships.Since the issue of gender is removed in the case of female on female violence, a study of that dynamic may lead to a better understanding of some heterosexual violence as well. It's totally understandable that the victims of violence are focussed on blame and punishment but society's response should be focussed on understanding why violence happens and how it can be stopped. The lesbian community has pointed the way on some other things, maybe they can on this too. [ 28 April 2003: Message edited by: janew ]
From: Toronto, Ontario | Registered: Apr 2001
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Cynicalico
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 4163
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posted 30 May 2003 10:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by sophrosyne:
My first reaction to the headline was, "who cares if lesbians like fried food?"  My second thought being, "hmmm not the article I thought it'd be..."  and my third being, "...probably for the same reasons any abuser is abusive." Control freaks and insecure angry jerks can sadly be found in every segment of our society. Domestic abuse unfortunately transcends all borders, whether it be ethnicity, nationality, gender, age, etc. I wonder why it is that it has taken so long to recognize this reality.
Yes, indeed. Lesbians abuse - because alternative sexual orientation does not make one somehow a better person. They abuse for the same reasons heterosexuals abuse - they are flawed, imperfect, injured, and in some cases, just plain bad, human beings. The fact that they happen to be attracted to same sex individuals is not terribly relevant here.
Don't get me wrong, I do think it is worthwhile to conduct research into power dynamics of homosexual relationships. I guess I am just not terribly surprised to hear that lesbians do abuse - as I long have viewed homosexuals (and women) simply as human beings just like the rest of the world. No better, no worse.
From: Canada | Registered: May 2003
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karenas
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 835
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posted 30 May 2003 11:16 PM
I think that to say the reasons (some) lesbians are physically abusive in intimate relationships are the same that (some) men are ignores a crucial point. Feminists in the anti-violence movement have always tried to get the message across that among the reasons that (some) men are abusive to their women partners are 1) it's a good means of getting your way, and 2)they're allowed to get away with it. Until feminists started working to raise awareness about the issue and push the justice system to treat wife beating as a crime, it was seen as merely a private dispute, in which society had no business intervening. Men have been allowed in many ways to get away with beating their spouses because women's lives and experiences were not seen as important or as valid as men's. Lesbians who batter their partners don't have, and have never had the same type of licence (institutionalized permission) to beat women that men used to possess, and which thanks to feminist activists, men now have to much lesser degree (BC AG Geoff Plant's regressive recent measures not withstanding). The reasons that lesbians batter may overlap or have things in common with why (some) heterosexual men use violence to control women, but to say they're exactly the same ignores the male privilege that men have used to get away with hurting women. Of course, male privilege, and its concurrent benefits, increases or decreases according to wealth as well as membership in the dominant cultural/racial groups. [ 30 May 2003: Message edited by: karenas ]
From: BC | Registered: Jun 2001
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Hephaestion
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 4795
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posted 25 October 2004 08:10 AM
Program to combat LGBT domestic violence quote:
(Washington) It is often called the gay 'dirty little secret' - domestic violence in gay and lesbian relationships. A report by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Projects released last week documented 6,523 cases of LGBT domestic violence reported in 2003, including 6 domestic violence-related deaths. The figure represents a 13% increases in cases reported from 2002 to 2003. Usually the signs of domestic violence are ignored in gay relationships by the very people who are trained to look out for spousal abuse. Now, for the first time a major program will be launched in California to educate medical care providers about the existence of domestic violence in the gay community.
From: goodbye... :-( | Registered: Dec 2003
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