During the overheated 90's, and the plant was at full staff, I worked rather fantastic amounts of overtime. A couple of years I worked from Christmas to Easter without a day off, and some of those days were twelve hour shifts.

Even though I thought I was smarter than to fall into adjusting my lifestyle to the overtime pay, of course we did.

About a year prior to my marriage breakup, I started tailing back. I wanted to spend more time at home-- leisure time became more important to me.

I've tried real hard-- particularly since there are now people on layoff-- to not work overtime as a regular feature of my work life.

But, I just can't. Sure, there are economies I can make still, and I will be persuing them. But I'm tired of telling my daughters no when they ask for this or that. And, I'm tired of living in fear of appliances breaking down, of dipping into overdraft all the time.

It kind of came to a head about two weeks ago. I was constantly angry, even paranoid to some extent. It just seemed to me that I was little better than a serf, that everybody and their brother viewed me as a sheep to be shorn. Insurance companies gouging on the flimsy pretext of "sept. 11th"-- Paul Martin thieving through the E.I. deductions, actuaries making me pay through the nose for stuff with no more excuse than what a pirate would offer.

Well, I'm sorry to those unemployed. I can't take it anymore. I worked five twelve hour shifts last week-- the last twelve of which were entirely time and a half.

This week I sent one daughter off to Toronto with a fist full of dollars. The other girls heard nothing but "yes" when they asked for this back to school item or that.

In spite of the time invested in the plant, away from family, I'm happier, still bitter perhaps, but not as paranoid about the powers that be treating me like a serf from the dark ages.

It's an illusion, of course.

Have you told your daughters how you feel about saying no? If your kid is old enough to go to TO without you than she's old enough to understand the harsh reality of budgeting and sacrifice.

If I do go to law school, my son will be 8 years old when I graduate. Just starting to get to be the age where the "right" sneakers and the "right" electronic toys and the "right" trading cards and all the other boyhood paraphernalia will become all important. And yet, also at the age where supervision and help with homework and PTA and all that other parental involvement also will be important.

And my quandary will be - how do I balance between how much stuff I want to be able to buy for him and how much time I want to be able to spend with him? All the time in the world won't help him socially at school if I am so poor that he can't have anything that the other kids have and therefore becomes "uncool" or can't relate to his school "culture" or society. On the other hand, I don't want to be one of those parents who says, "Here's a gameboy, go play in traffic, Mommy's busy working to buy you the latest Nikes and video games."

I'm hoping that my son will be somewhat of a leader - if now is any indication of later, he probably will be - and that I will be able to influence him for good. To start now saying, "No, we CAN'T go to McDonald's because their food is bad for you. Let's cook something at home and eat it outside as a picnic," while he's still young enough to like picnics much better than the happy meal toy.

I don't always succeed. He now knows the McDonald's brand, and he gets excited about cheapo toys and stuff. But what I've noticed is that when he goes to McDonald's, the excitement and the anticipation is the part that's fun - once he starts eating the food (which he DOES like), it's kind of downhill from there. Whereas when we have a picnic, he loves it from start to finish.

Same with the toys he gets. He loves getting new toys, anything from the treat of the week from McDonald's to a big $50 toy of some kind from Toys'R'Us. But after he opens the package, inspects the toy, maybe plays with it for a few minutes, he wants to go outside and play on the playground equipment or ride his bike! He doesn't care about his toys except to scatter them around the house. He would much rather be occupied with grown-up stuff, like helping me cook, or helping me sweep the floor, or being involved with handiwork around the house.

So now I'm thinking, maybe I CAN still become a lawyer and take on the legal aid cases I want to instead of selling my soul to defending corporations. Maybe I can work 40-45 hours a week instead of 60-70 if I don't give my little one the impression that Santa brings 20 presents at Christmas instead of just maybe 1 big present and a stocking. Hell, by the time he's opened his stocking, he really only gives a damn about maybe one other present anyhow - the rest are just superfluous.

Many of my colleagues brag about how many hours they put in, and it's become some morbid game of one-upmanship..."oh, you only put in 16 hours yesterday? I did 18".

The restructuring in 2001 has left us with hundreds still on layoff and I have not worked all six scheduled days since then. We have the luxury of booking days off on a first come first serve basis. I cannot always get the Saturday off (when they are scheduled), but must take what is available.

They had a nice house, and a great cottage with lots of stuff in it. He worked horribly long hours until his retirement. Then, having few interests besides work, his life basically ended, and he was dead in a few short years.

I don't want that kind of life for myself and my family. I want my children to know a father who was there when he was wanted. My Dad taught me how to throw a ball, and swing a golf club. I may not be able to afford Nikes for my kids. However, I think the best gift is my time and attention.

[ September 03, 2002: Message edited by: paxamillion ]

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There was even a petition circulating amongst the more senior workers asking the union to help the company lay off a shift so they could work Saturdays as overtime was their "right." Oddly the union was unsympathetic to their cause.

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Holy Shit. That's cut throat. As addicted to overtime our plant is, there's always been the feeling that we'd like everyone back to work. Maybe it's because the "Junior" employees are no longer kids out of school, but middle aged men and women with families to support.

One of the observations I made over the years is that working class people are raised to never turn down an opportunity to earn extra money. I know a lot of people at work who really don't NEED the money, but are scared that if they turn down the overtime they'll offend the Gods and next week something will happen to make them regret not working it.

I tend to think this might be a reverberation from the depression. But then, being a child of depression parents, I tend perhaps put more emphasis on this than it may merit. It could be something just inherent in the working class and is centuries, if not millenia old. It may even be part of an instinctive survival trait gone a little wrong.

I'd much rather look to earning money outside of my work place, to be honest. I've got an idea for a short story or novella, the research for which could be the foundation of several other stories. I doubt I'd get rich (I doubt I'd get published, actually) but every dollar earned at something like that would be much more satisfying.

And I could do most of that work at home.

My other plan is to retire at the earliest possible moment. I'll still be in debt, but I'd also like to explore getting qualified as a supply teacher. I'd love to teach, but the competition is tough (at least in London) and I might be taking the spot of some young person who wants to make a career of it, instead of dabbling.

I don't think there's anything wrong with working a bit of O.T. to deal with specific projects or problems that money is an answer too. And, I can look at my newly aquired debt load and justify overtime this way. But being so close to debt free before, and being knocked back makes me wonder if it's just a sucker's game, that even if I attack my debt through overtime, something will happen to send me back to "GO", without my $200 again.

I have one now that's attached to a line of credit the interest rate of which is a bit better than 22%.

One thing you have to know about me is that I view any debt with great trepidation. I'm willing to bet there are people who look at my current debt load (excluding mortgage) and laugh. It's only a couple thousand all told. Not bad after all the legal wrangling, but it plays on my mind.

Some people exclude mortgage as debt, but I see no reason to. It's hefty.

I arranged for a line of credit to do some badly needed renovations to the house, but so far I've not dipped into it, even though I'd rather have the renovations than be without the debt at the moment.

I'll get my feet wet shortly. I figure if I get in one or two saturdays a month, I should be okay. So I'll work every saturday to be sure.

Being able to do it from home is a little consolation. At least the kids remember what I look like, even if I am pasted to the keyboard...