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I was on my cell phone, but I lost the signal when I got onto the elevator. That's why I overheard the conversation between the two men who were on the elevator with me.

"My wife hasn't lost her pregnancy weight yet," one of them complained.

"That's just lazy," the other commiserated, "I mean, what's she doing all day?"

My ears began to bleed and a thousand shrieking harpies flew out of my head and violins screamed in a menacing augury of harrowing wrath.

"She's busy fabricating false rape statistics and disseminating lies about employment discrimination," I replied. The two men stared at me. The cell phone was still against my ear. "Are you talking to us?" one of them asked. I shook my head and mouthed "NO," then pointed to the cell phone. They smiled in uneasy relief.

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Originally posted by Mr. Magoo:
Wow. That's phenomenally self-absorbed, even for a blog. When I want to know just how impatient and crabby people can be when they can't seem to conceive that infant that will complete them, I'll read the archives.

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She has a perfect right to be upset about the way people act as though being infertile is a mortal sin against humanity, or something. The desire to perpetuate oneself is a complicated thing; part of it is biological wiring, and part of it is social conditioning.

I have no such desire, and I suspect I may be in a minority.

And there's nothing stopping you fron writing your blog wherein you gripe about heaven only knows what.

I mean, I can match and exceed her level of "self-absorbedness", if you want me to prove that her gripes are justified relative to someone else's - I could talk about the most useless thing I want in the entire world, which is a one-milligram sample of Polonium-209.

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I hate it when men insult their wives or girlfriends in front of other people. You rarely hear women complaining about their husbands in such a public manner

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Originally posted by DrConway:

Now, I betcha dollars to donuts if you saw page after page about nothing but that one sample of Polonium, you'd be crying to read chezmiscarriage instead, buddy.

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I agree entirely. I thought that story was a pretty good thing to put in any blog, BTW. It's interesting that some people, with no bad intentions, get a funny visceral reaction to certain types of writing, even if there's nothing in it that they can disagree with, while experiencing no such reaction to other writing of similar quality.

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Now, I betcha dollars to donuts if you saw page after page about nothing but that one sample of Polonium, you'd be crying to read chezmiscarriage instead, buddy.

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Hehe. Actually I'd probably just be asking what narcissist invented blogs in the first place.

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Originally posted by Mike Keenan:
By the way Doc, you realize of course that by mentioning that you wish to acquire polonium, someone has probably put you on file as a potential terrorist.

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Well, Polonium's not fissionable, and has pretty darn well no practical uses these days, although Polonium-210 used to be used as a de-staticker for old vinyl records. The theory was that by ionizing the air above the record, any static charge buildup would be dissipated and thus prevent electrical interference when the needle would contact the record. Go figure.

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I hate it even more when I'm so jacked up on hormones that Yao Ming could change my tire.

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I hate it even more when I'm so jacked up on hormones that Yao Ming could change my tire.

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A car is raised using a car jack ("jacked up") to lift the tires off the ground so that they can be changed.

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Originally posted by Krago:
Yao Ming is a 2.26cm (7'5") basketball player for the Houston Rockets.

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I hate it when men insult their wives or girlfriends in front of other people.

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Yeah, that's right. Touché, asshat.

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2.26 cm? Which metric conversion chart are you using?

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Bah, metric.

When I ask Mme. Bong (who comes from the Über-rationalistic land that invented that accursed system) how many kilometres are in the milk carton or the jam jar, she knows what I mean.

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Originally posted by J.S. Bach:
Thanks for that explanation - Not in a million years would I have figured that one out.

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Originally posted by Michelle:

I didn't get it either.

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Obviously you didn't see the new Apple powerbook commercial with him and the guy who played mini-me in Austin Powers.

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Originally posted by clockwork:
Quotes from the original article:

Do two wrongs really add up to a right.

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Originally posted by audra trower williams:

I think the difference is that one thing is more deserving of scorn than the other.

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Originally posted by al-Qa'bong:
Correction: "self-righteous wrath."

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No, I got it right the first time.

Men have the right to be A-holes.
Women have the right to call them on it.

[ed. Hey, waitaminute. Mme. Bong sometimes slags me for being fat and lazy!]

[ 28 May 2004: Message edited by: al-Qa'bong ]

My aunt commented to me about my step mother getting big after my two step sisters were born. We were at a Kelseys (or, uh, a mid-quality bar and grill chain for those not familiar with it). Is a booth at Kelsey's considered private while an elevator considered public?

The one guy says his wife is big. As unfortunate as that may be, it's still a statement. I note that the husband didn't say, "She's a pig" or "she's so huge that I find the good year blimp attractive." The lazy comment was asinine. But the tangent about rape and discrimination comes straight out of left field.