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Author Topic: Nominations: Pope John Paul II's successor
NDP Newbie
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posted 01 April 2005 12:03 PM      Profile for NDP Newbie     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Like John Paul II, the next Pope should be a Catholic, charismatic, a friend of Western colonial powers, a right-wing thug, a social conservative, and an enemy of liberty, secularism, and democracy.

I hereby nominate Hong Kong Chief Executive Donald Tsang.


From: Cornwall, ON | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
kingblake
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posted 01 April 2005 12:06 PM      Profile for kingblake     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Hey! Get in line!
From: In Regina, the land of Exotica | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
N.Beltov
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posted 01 April 2005 12:07 PM      Profile for N.Beltov   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
NDP Newbie: Like John Paul II, the next Pope should be a Catholic, charismatic, a friend of Western colonial powers, a right-wing thug, a social conservative, and an enemy of liberty, secularism, and democracy.

You forgot pathological misogynist.


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spatrioter
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posted 01 April 2005 12:08 PM      Profile for spatrioter     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
NDP Newbie, you clearly have no respect for sacred canon law.

If he dies between 3 and 4, it goes to the self-hating Jew.


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Michelle
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posted 01 April 2005 12:16 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I'm dying here.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
kingblake
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posted 01 April 2005 12:16 PM      Profile for kingblake     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Thank you 'rioter. Good to know that *some of us* haven't forgotten about all of our traditions - all that we hold dear.
From: In Regina, the land of Exotica | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
CourtneyGQuinn
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posted 01 April 2005 12:20 PM      Profile for CourtneyGQuinn     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
the next pope should be everyone,...that is...the next pope should be www.PublicParticipationPapacy.com ...what exactly does the Pope/queen do anyway?....i'd like to see the next Pope- (or any leader for that matter)- drop all the expensive pomp and circumstance, ritual, symbolism....and focus on the people...focus on the blogs/forums...reach/preace to the hundreds of millions of Netizens...the "church" should be the internet, the "pulpit" the keyboard

[ 01 April 2005: Message edited by: CourtneyGQuinn ]


From: Winnipeg | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 01 April 2005 12:20 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
However, NDP Newbie, if you want the 4-5 slot, then I'm sure your nomination could then proceed. (Sorry, kingblake, I WANT you to win, but we must be prepared for all eventualities.)
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
HeywoodFloyd
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posted 01 April 2005 12:24 PM      Profile for HeywoodFloyd     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I object to the Head of State being the Head of Faith.

If KingBlake wished to become the Pope, he must first abdicate before being considered.


From: Edmonton: This place sucks | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
kingblake
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posted 01 April 2005 12:28 PM      Profile for kingblake     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. When, not if.

Michelle, you sceptic you, I think Googly got 4-5 already.


From: In Regina, the land of Exotica | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 01 April 2005 12:29 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
No, she said 5-6 I think.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
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posted 01 April 2005 12:32 PM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I just got 4-5. It was a purely selfless act.

Ah, poor kingblake. I knew him, you know.


From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
kingblake
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posted 01 April 2005 12:36 PM      Profile for kingblake     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I'm still here, you know? If you wanna speculate about my death, at least do it out of earshot!
From: In Regina, the land of Exotica | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
spatrioter
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posted 01 April 2005 12:39 PM      Profile for spatrioter     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
T-20 minutes.
From: Trinity-Spadina | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
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posted 01 April 2005 12:43 PM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
He isn't taking it well, is he. That river in Egypt, y'know. Sad.
From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 01 April 2005 12:45 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Now skdadl, it's not graceful to rub it in when you're next in the line of succession.

13 minutes, kingblake!


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
spatrioter
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posted 01 April 2005 12:45 PM      Profile for spatrioter     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
This has the potential for another Great Schism. Kingblake, do you like Avignon?
From: Trinity-Spadina | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 01 April 2005 12:45 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
You mean, the cabernet kind?
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
kingblake
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posted 01 April 2005 12:52 PM      Profile for kingblake     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
feeling...verrryy....weak......tooo....weakk....to....write.......

must....die.....soooooonn....musssst.....di.e......withinnnn......sevennn.....minutes......

please...father.....hurrryyyy....up.....can't......take...it...much.....longer....


From: In Regina, the land of Exotica | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 01 April 2005 12:53 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
My God, my God, why hast...

...actually, that would be a little too sacreligious even for me.


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
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posted 01 April 2005 12:58 PM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Hey, kingblake. Wanna be a cardinal? Really pretty gowns and hats.
From: gone | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
kingblake
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posted 01 April 2005 01:00 PM      Profile for kingblake     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
God, why have you forsaken me? After almost an hour of faithful and unwavering devotion, you have turned your back on me. You have tested me, Father, but so have I tested you. By what right can you claim my utter faith if you see it not fit to grant me my lone desire? My hourlong dream? My destiny? It was written in the stars, and I have had had no reason to doubt, that I would be spending eternity with you, and that this eternity would begin some time between 3pm and 4pm on the first of April, 2005.

I am hereby renouncing the Church, and starting a new one. The Pope of this new church? Me.


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Jimmy Brogan
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posted 01 April 2005 01:01 PM      Profile for Jimmy Brogan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I'm not so much interested in which wizened old reactionary will be the next pope, but on how he will style himself. My money's on John Paul III. But here are some blasts from the past that we can only hope will be chosen:

Hilarius. I'll be here all week. Matinee on Sunday.

Simplicius. Should get along well with W.

Urban. Bad news for the red states.

Innocent. Yeah tell it to the judge.

Pius. Well duh.

[ 01 April 2005: Message edited by: JimmyBrogan ]


From: The right choice - Iggy Thumbscrews for Liberal leader | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged
googlymoogly
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posted 01 April 2005 01:05 PM      Profile for googlymoogly     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
5-6 is mine; my will be done.
From: the fiery bowels of hell | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 01 April 2005 01:06 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Yeah, isn't it wild that "Hitler's Pope" should be named "Pius".
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
CourtneyGQuinn
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posted 01 April 2005 01:14 PM      Profile for CourtneyGQuinn     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Michelle---

"that would be a little too sacreligious even for me"

---the most sacreligious joke i've ever heard was this...

"Why can't Jesus play hockey?...

..."He's always gets nailed to the boards"

I would think/hope Jesus has a sense of humor

[ 01 April 2005: Message edited by: CourtneyGQuinn ]


From: Winnipeg | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Mr. Magoo
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posted 01 April 2005 01:18 PM      Profile for Mr. Magoo   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Well, you haven't seen anyone wearing a "Jesus is my Homeboy" shirt get hit by lightning, have you?
From: ř¤°`°¤ř,¸_¸,ř¤°`°¤ř,¸_¸,ř¤°°¤ř,¸_¸,ř¤°°¤ř, | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 01 April 2005 01:22 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Oh man! And here I'd thought I'd heard just about every sacriligious joke going. Bad! Bad!
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
obscurantist
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posted 01 April 2005 01:59 PM      Profile for obscurantist     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by JimmyBrogan:
I'm not so much interested in which wizened old reactionary will be the next pope, but on how he will style himself. My money's on John Paul III.
I had the same thought last night.

Sure, tradition would suggest another John Paul. But I hope the new pope will send a message that the Catholic Church is capable of progress.

So how about "George Ringo"?


From: an unweeded garden | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
Hephaestion
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posted 01 April 2005 02:17 PM      Profile for Hephaestion   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by Michelle:
Oh man! And here I'd thought I'd heard just about every sacriligious joke going. Bad! Bad!

Not quite...


From: goodbye... :-( | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Hephaestion
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posted 01 April 2005 02:23 PM      Profile for Hephaestion   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post
Cardinals differ on who will succeed Pope

quote:
Pope John Paul II has named nearly every cardinal who will elect his successor, but that does not mean the next pontiff will be just like him.

The world's cardinals hold diverse and often conflicting views about what are the most pressing issues for the Roman Catholic Church and will likely seek out a leader with different qualities than John Paul's.

"The cardinals, when they come in the conclave, they follow their conscience and they see what's useful for the church today," said Belgian Cardinal Godfried Danneels, in a recent interview with The Associated Press. "There is not that kind of nepotism in the church — 'I appointed all the cardinals so there will be exactly my copy.' No. We are a bit more intelligent than that."



From: goodbye... :-( | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
robbie_dee
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posted 01 April 2005 03:41 PM      Profile for robbie_dee     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Nominations for Pope, huh?

Well, since Bono did't get the World Bank job, he ought to be available and he's Catholic. . .

[ 01 April 2005: Message edited by: robbie_dee ]


From: Iron City | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
CourtneyGQuinn
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posted 01 April 2005 03:51 PM      Profile for CourtneyGQuinn     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
robbie_dee---

that's funny...the "powers that be" seem to be latching onto Bono....the "rich reformist", as i like to call him....the question is...is he using the lefts cause to help the poor or help U2's record sales?


From: Winnipeg | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
gopi
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posted 01 April 2005 03:53 PM      Profile for gopi     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Nominations for Pope, huh?

I nominate Mickey Rourke. He even has papal experience.


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canadianpatriot
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posted 01 April 2005 04:03 PM      Profile for canadianpatriot     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I think there is a strong sense in the vatican that the next pope should be Italian, and I think he will take the name of John Paul III.
But I don't think he will last as long in the papacy as JP II.

From: National Capital | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged
canadianpatriot
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posted 01 April 2005 04:06 PM      Profile for canadianpatriot     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
by the way didn't George Carlin play a pope like figure in Dogma?
From: National Capital | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged
The Other Todd
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posted 01 April 2005 04:09 PM      Profile for The Other Todd     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Odds for who gets the job:

Oscar Rodriguez Maradiaga (Honduras) 2.9/1
Dionigi Tettamanzi (Italy) 3.4/1
Francis Arinze (Nigeria) 4.8/1
Joseph Ratzinger (Germany) 6.4/1
Jorge Mario Bergoglio (Argentina) 11
Claudio Hummes (Brazil) 12.5/1
Jean-Marie Lustiger (France) 14
Count Christoph von Schoenborn (Austria) 25
Angelo Sodano (Italy) 29
Giovanni Battista Re (Italy) 29
Crescenzio Sepe (Italy) 37
Giacomo Biffi (Italy) 37
Ivan Dias (India) 41
Juan Luis Cipriani (Italy) 43
Cormac Murphy-O'Connor (Britain) 45
Jaime Lucas Ortega y Alamino (Cuba) 45
Tarcisio Bertone (Italy) 47
Ennio Antonelli (Italy) 54
Carlo Maria Martini (Italy) 64
Godfried Daneels (Belgium) 64
Dario Castrillion Hoyos (Colombia) 74
George Pell (Australia) 99

http://mailman.lbo-talk.org/pipermail/lbo-talk/Week-of-Mon-20050328/006588.html


From: Ottawa | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
obscurantist
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posted 01 April 2005 04:29 PM      Profile for obscurantist     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by CourtneyGQuinn:
robbie_dee---

that's funny...the "powers that be" seem to be latching onto Bono....the "rich reformist", as i like to call him....the question is...is he using the lefts cause to help the poor or help U2's record sales?


Oh, definitely the latter.

How 'bout Sinead O'Connor? I think she was a Catholic priest at one point, although maybe not in the "official" Catholic church.

[ 01 April 2005: Message edited by: obscurantist ]


From: an unweeded garden | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
Snuckles
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posted 01 April 2005 04:42 PM      Profile for Snuckles   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post
I nominate Father Guido Sarducci for Pope.
From: Hell | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Papal Bull
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posted 01 April 2005 04:55 PM      Profile for Papal Bull   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I'm for Daneels, personally.
From: Vatican's best darned ranch | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged
Boom Boom
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posted 01 April 2005 05:11 PM      Profile for Boom Boom     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I'd like to see Cardinal Rat get the job; he'd so completely piss everyone off that we'd see the Vatican for the irrelevant anchronism it really is.
From: Make the rich pay! | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
CourtneyGQuinn
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posted 01 April 2005 05:13 PM      Profile for CourtneyGQuinn     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Papal-Bull---

i didn't understand the meaning of your name until i read an article a few minutes ago...

"Pope Ganganelli abolished the Jesuits with a Papal Bull; the Jesuits call it a "brief". It is not a brief; it is in the Library of the Bulls, and it is called Dominic Ac Redemptor Nostor. That is the name of a bull. And when he abolished them, he abolished them forever—that they were not to talk about their abolition, that they were not to teach. He confiscated all of their wealth and land and property. For the most part, the Dominicans took it over, which is why the Dominicans had their penis cut off during the French Revolution. That’s what the Jacobins did to them. It was payback by the Jesuits: "You don’t dare take our property from us, boy. And you don’t dare take Inquisition from us." Jacobins killed nearly every Dominican in France."

---mind you..i don't know if you choose your name for Protesant/Jesuit reasons....?


From: Winnipeg | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Américain Égalitaire
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posted 01 April 2005 05:19 PM      Profile for Américain Égalitaire   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Father Andrew Greeley for Pope!

Yeah, that'll happen. Might as well nominate Frances Kissling


From: Chardon, Ohio USA | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
NDP Newbie
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posted 01 April 2005 05:32 PM      Profile for NDP Newbie     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I stand by Donald Tsang:

He really is a practising Catholic, and nothing says "exemplary Catholic" like supporting European colonialism and being an altar boy for a fascist regime. ;-)

So Donald, Wen will you next be on Hu's manhood?

[ 01 April 2005: Message edited by: NDP Newbie ]

[ 01 April 2005: Message edited by: NDP Newbie ]


From: Cornwall, ON | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Américain Égalitaire
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posted 01 April 2005 05:35 PM      Profile for Américain Égalitaire   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by NDP Newbie:
I stand by Donald Tsang:

He really is a practising Catholic, and nothing says "exemplary Catholic" like supporting European colonialism and being an altar boy for a fascist regime. ;-)

So Donald, Wen will you next be on Hu's "man"hood?

[ 01 April 2005: Message edited by: NDP Newbie ]


OK fine, him or Ratso. Makes no difference. Rhythm and blues for all!


From: Chardon, Ohio USA | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
Boom Boom
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posted 01 April 2005 06:53 PM      Profile for Boom Boom     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
To continue the fine tradition started by JP-1 of recognising the fine musicianship of the Beatles, the next two Popes in succession will be named George Ringo-1 and George Ringo-2.
From: Make the rich pay! | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
Krago
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posted 01 April 2005 08:57 PM      Profile for Krago     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Actually, the "True" Catholic Church already has a pope. It's this guy:

Read all about it:

Pope Pius XIII


From: The Royal City | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
No Yards
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posted 01 April 2005 09:14 PM      Profile for No Yards   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Wow, A Pope for FDers. So in order to be a "true" Catholic you must everyone? This is a satire site is it not? Please tell me it is!
From: Defending traditional marriage since June 28, 2005 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
Mandos
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posted 01 April 2005 09:32 PM      Profile for Mandos   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:

So the Pope couldn’t make it out to Good Friday yesterday. He is described as “ailing” and “frail” but “still lucid.” At last the Pope’s one true weakness is revealed: weakness!

Your powers are weak, old man! Enfeebled by age, the Pope can no longer summon the sheer force of will needed to mind-control the Catholic Church or bring Ritual Jesus back from the dead every Easter. But Giblets can… and Giblets will, when he becomes the next Pope!

Oh, you’ll hear plenty of arguments for replacing this Pope with just another dumb ol’ regular Pope, or a super-efficient Robopope, or the unearthly tidal pull of the Moon Pope. All lies and dross! Only Giblets can complete the circle. Only Giblets can drag mankind to salvation as Pope Giblets the First! Behold the new Gibletsian papacy!



http://fafblog.blogspot.com/2005/03/pope-death-watch-work-that-pope-hat.html

From: There, there. | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
thorin_bane
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posted 01 April 2005 10:25 PM      Profile for thorin_bane     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Mandos is that a MST3K referance like Torgo...anyway.. I think it will be the french cardinal, he is a converted jew and if elected means the second coming of christ and the conversion of all the heretics....so they might be ready for the rapture now. At least that is how it reads in some scroll or something. Won't make much differance anyway. It will be the same crap. I would have elected mother teresa if she was still alive
From: Looking at the despair of Detroit from across the river! | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
maestro
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posted 02 April 2005 01:04 AM      Profile for maestro     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Why do the St. Louis Cardinals get to vote for the pope? They didn't even win the series. But it's true, they do have nice uniforms.

Someone told me today that the Catholic church was complaining they didn't really have a lot of money.

Maybe they could, like, hold a raffle and sell tickets. Winner becomes pope, and gets to party hardy in the Vatican. Now there's something I could genuflect to...


From: Vancouver | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
Boom Boom
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posted 02 April 2005 04:32 AM      Profile for Boom Boom     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Cardinal Rating Service: http://www.cardinalrating.com/
From: Make the rich pay! | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 02 April 2005 05:27 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by Boom Boom:
I'd like to see Cardinal Rat get the job; he'd so completely piss everyone off that we'd see the Vatican for the irrelevant anchronism it really is.

My sentiments exactly. Plus, we'd get to call him Pope Ratfucker.


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
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posted 02 April 2005 05:56 AM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I think there should be a wide variety of outlooks represented by various candidates for Pope.

A real..."popepourri", if you will......


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Hephaestion
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posted 02 April 2005 08:34 AM      Profile for Hephaestion   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post
The RC Church should be taken over by the Old Catholic Church, which is far more civilized— it allows priests to marry, from what I gather is non misogynist, and has no issues with homosexuals, even allowing practicing gays to be priests.

What a concept!


From: goodbye... :-( | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Wilf Day
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posted 02 April 2005 10:11 AM      Profile for Wilf Day     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Even Inside the Vatican reports that:
quote:
several cardinals are now publicly suggesting that the Pope, like all diocesan bishops, should be bound to retire at age 75. This would be an unprecedented change.

In an open letter published before the Pope's visit to Switzerland last June, theologian Xaver Pfister said the Pope should respect the normal retirement age for bishops, set by the Vatican at 75. "The media only talk about the Pope's health and no longer about what he says, which creates a credibility problem for himself and the papacy," he said. But the Bishop of Basel, Kurt Koch, said the timing of the letter was "tasteless and perfidious" and described the suggestion that the Pope should retire as "absurd."


Four and a half years ago, the primate of Belgium, Cardinal Danneels spoke about the age of the retirement of bishops, established at 75, and the fact that this criterion might also be applied to Popes.

"The question will inevitably be posed in the same form to Popes. In the future, I think it will have to be like this. One won't be able to do otherwise."

Why, many ask, should the bishop of Rome be the sole exception to the requirement that bishops submit their resignations at age 75? When Paul VI instituted this rule in 1966, it shocked those imbued from their seminary days with the notion of “a priest forever."

And yet two of the leading candidates are 77.


From: Port Hope, Ontario | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 02 April 2005 10:22 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Wilfred, when I saw your name next to this thread, I was sure I was going to come here and find you talking about how much better it would be if the Vatican used proportional representation to elect the new Pope.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Hawkins
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posted 02 April 2005 01:34 PM      Profile for Hawkins     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I think the Church needs to solve its first schizm:

Patriach Bartholomew I For Pope. Bring Unity to Catholics today!

[ 02 April 2005: Message edited by: Hawkins ]


From: Burlington Ont | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged
Scott Piatkowski
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posted 02 April 2005 01:57 PM      Profile for Scott Piatkowski   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
[mockinnocence]

You mean the position isn't hereditary?

[/mockinnocence]


From: Kitchener-Waterloo | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Vigilante
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 8104

posted 02 April 2005 02:19 PM      Profile for Vigilante        Edit/Delete Post
This whole institution should never have existed. Haysus was someone up against the Jewish astablishment similar to this one in his day. I doubt he would have liked seeing his views entangled with the imperialist Romans. He never came off as a guy for big institutions.

Also I'm not well versed on this but I hear that the guy before JPII who lasted weeks only may have been offed by the church. I hear he was too radical. Might there any truth to this?

[ 02 April 2005: Message edited by: Vigilante ]


From: Toronto | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
the grey
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posted 02 April 2005 02:48 PM      Profile for the grey     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by Vigilante:
This whole institution should never have existed. Haysus was someone up against the Jewish astablishment similar to this one in his day.

To paraphrase the Gospel of Thomas (notably not accepted by the RC church):

"The Kingdom of God is inside/within you (and all about you), not in buildings/mansions of wood and stone. (When I am gone) Split a piece of wood and I am there, lift the/a stone and you will find me."

(From the movie Stigmata -- notably not approved of by the RC church.)


From: London, Ontario | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
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posted 02 April 2005 02:51 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Popepourri.....get it?

oh never mind.


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Hawkins
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posted 02 April 2005 03:56 PM      Profile for Hawkins     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
We are going to dry the pope and then crush him and coat the fragments with pleasing scents?
From: Burlington Ont | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
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posted 02 April 2005 04:00 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Not what I was originally thinking, but Hawkins, my boy, not since pilgrims came back from the Holy Land with a forest of Pieces of the True Cross has anyone hit on such a formidible marketing scheme!

Yer a genius, Hawkins, pure genius.


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
JasonG
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 7603

posted 02 April 2005 04:27 PM      Profile for JasonG     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Hey everyone,

As a Catholic, I can see this time as being very important to the billions of Catholics aroudn the world. While I did not see eye to eye with JP2 on many issues, namely his views on contraception and gay marraige, I can also see his positives..

Regardless, my two cents on a successor:

Cardinal Ouellet from Montreal is my pick.. French-Canadian and a very well-respected in Rome, well written too.

Check out the contenders:
CBC: The Pope's Successors


From: London, Ontario | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
Hailey
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 6438

posted 02 April 2005 04:38 PM      Profile for Hailey     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
He's not even cold in his grave.......
From: candyland | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged
Stephen Gordon
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Babbler # 4600

posted 02 April 2005 04:50 PM      Profile for Stephen Gordon        Edit/Delete Post
Doesn't matter; speculation about the papal succession is a ritual almost as old as the church itself.
From: . | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged
voice of the damned
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Babbler # 6943

posted 02 April 2005 05:31 PM      Profile for voice of the damned     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Also I'm not well versed on this but I hear that the guy before JPII who lasted weeks only may have been offed by the church. I hear he was too radical. Might there any truth to this?


There was suspicion that he was offed by the quasi-masonic P2 Lodge, a right-wing neo-fascist outfit that liked to diddle around with Italian politics. Supposedly, they wanted him out of the way because he was gonna clean up the Vatican bank, which had basically become a money-laundering operation for P2.

The allegation was made in David Yallop's book In God's Name. Yallop thought it suspicious that no autopsy was performed on the Pope. Other investigators disputed the allegation, saying that Yallop exagerrated the extent of JPI's banking reforms, and pointing out that autopsies usually aren't done on Popes. One investigator(possibly hired by the Vatican, if I recall) noted that following his ascension to the papacy, JPI had expressed doubts about his fitness for the papacy and had ceased taking his heart medication.

Another interesting thing about that Pope was that he wrote a series of letters to fictional characters, most notably Pinnochio. Apparently, he wrote a few to Jesus as well, but only after some fellow Cardinals criticized him for writing to Pinnochio but not to Jesus.

[ 02 April 2005: Message edited by: voice of the damned ]


From: Asia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
Hailey
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posted 02 April 2005 10:17 PM      Profile for Hailey     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
His body is not even cold. It seems entirely crass.

I also do not believe it is the business of persons who are not faithful to the Magistrium (including myself) who the Pope is. He is the leader of faithful RC's. He's not a secular or non-RCleader.


From: candyland | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged
Mandos
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posted 02 April 2005 10:21 PM      Profile for Mandos   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I'm can't vote in France but I am sometimes quite interested in what they vote for. Like it or not, the Pope is influential and the Magisterium is thus subject to public scrutiny as much as they dislike it. He is not even cold, yes, and I am sad when anyone dies, but the Cardinals also are not waiting for him to cool down either and never were. And it is really they whom we are scrutinizing.
From: There, there. | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Surferosad
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posted 02 April 2005 10:57 PM      Profile for Surferosad   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
There's no business like pope business
Like no business I know

Everything about it is appalling
Everything the bastards will allow
Nowhere could you get that crappy feeling
When you are stealing
That extra bow

There's no people like church people
They pray when they are low

Etc.


From: Montreal | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Hephaestion
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Babbler # 4795

posted 03 April 2005 05:38 AM      Profile for Hephaestion   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by Hailey:
His body is not even cold. It seems entirely crass.

I also do not believe it is the business of persons who are not faithful to the Magistrium (including myself) who the Pope is. He is the leader of faithful RC's. He's not a secular or non-RCleader.


Hailey, there is a massive organization spread across the globe that was led by this man. This man sat at the centre, like a loathesome spider in its web, scheming his malicious, hateful plans, along with his cadré of deranged lieutenants, and directing his wretched schemes against people in countries all over the planet.

The Vatican has an "observer status" seat at the UN. Karol Wojtyla had the ear of heads of state from around the world (and was not shy to use whatever influence he had, both at the UN and with the heads of state).

As far as the LGBT community goes, he was kind of like our own version of bin Laden, leading a type of al-Quaida that is even older, massively wealthier, and with a history of violence and repression that would make a fundamentalist Muslium terrorist blush.

As far as I'm concerned, he was cold (as in blooded) from the moment he became Terrorist-in-Chief to my community. Yer darned right it's "our business", faithful to the mumbo-jumbo of "the Magistrium" or not.

(And as an addendum, as far as I'm concerned, his complicity in the deaths of so many innocent people in Africa makes his actions, the church's actions, and who the church picks as his replacement a matter of concern to all caaring people everywhere.)


From: goodbye... :-( | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
voice of the damned
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posted 03 April 2005 09:05 AM      Profile for voice of the damned     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Heph:

Good point about the Vatican's observer status at the UN. However:

quote:
The Vatican has an "observer status" seat at the UN. Karol Wojtyla had the ear of heads of state from around the world (and was not shy to use whatever influence he had, both at the UN and with the heads of state).


Who was forcing those heads of state to listen to the Pope? Their Catholic electorates? Okay, but then who forces those voters to listen to the Pope?

If my dad blows my college fund on worthless Scientology lessons, should I get mad at L. Ron Hubbard? Or should I get mad at my dad for being such an idiot?


From: Asia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
davidt
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posted 03 April 2005 09:35 AM      Profile for davidt   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
the funny thing about ratzinger is that his early works are quite liberal and progressive, then he turned more and more into a right wing nutbar.

ndp newbie. if your going to put up a hong konger for pope why donald and not bishop zen (like him or not he is one of the only people here in hong kong who has the nerve to speak up against the chinese overlords (except for my main man long hair))


From: hong kong | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
oldgoat
Moderator
Babbler # 1130

posted 03 April 2005 09:49 AM      Profile for oldgoat     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Heph, if you choose to open this link, pour yourself a stiff drink and be sure you're sitting down.
From: The 10th circle | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Hephaestion
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 4795

posted 03 April 2005 10:06 AM      Profile for Hephaestion   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post
Oh, I've seen that site before, oldgoat. It's run by lunatics and dupes, obviously. I just thought it was kinda funny that the pic of ol' Ratface that they chose at the top makes it immediately obvious that he is one of the Eternal Undead, a blood-sucking vampire of the upper echelons.

Is it just me, or does that bastard give *everybody* the creeps?!?


From: goodbye... :-( | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
davidt
rabble-rouser
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posted 03 April 2005 10:09 AM      Profile for davidt   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
i have heard even conservatives within the church refer to ratzinger as a shameless climber. i would be very surprised if he was elected. If someone(like ratzinger) obviously aspires to the papacy it tends to make people suspicious. And hey all we need is one closet liberal to make it to the papacy and voila we would have a rapidly reforming church.
From: hong kong | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
aka Mycroft
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posted 03 April 2005 10:26 AM      Profile for aka Mycroft     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Too bad Hans Kung is out of the running - his piece on JPII in today's Sunday Star is excellent.

I wouldn't be surprised if one day, John Paul is regarded in Africa the same way Pius XII is seen by Jews.


From: Toronto | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
davidt
rabble-rouser
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posted 03 April 2005 10:39 AM      Profile for davidt   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
as odd as it may seem it is the third world where those theological lines in the sand are the most popular.
From: hong kong | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged
Hephaestion
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posted 03 April 2005 10:52 AM      Profile for Hephaestion   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post
quote:
And hey all we need is one closet liberal to make it to the papacy and voila we would have a rapidly reforming church.

Or another suddenly and "mysteriously" dead pope.


From: goodbye... :-( | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
NDP Newbie
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 5089

posted 03 April 2005 11:03 AM      Profile for NDP Newbie     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by davidt:
the funny thing about ratzinger is that his early works are quite liberal and progressive, then he turned more and more into a right wing nutbar.

ndp newbie. if your going to put up a hong konger for pope why donald and not bishop zen (like him or not he is one of the only people here in hong kong who has the nerve to speak up against the chinese overlords (except for my main man long hair))


Because I was using Donald Tsang's ideology, politics, and allies as a way of taking semi-humourous cheap shots at the Church.


From: Cornwall, ON | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
MasterDebator
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 8643

posted 03 April 2005 11:21 AM      Profile for MasterDebator        Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by Hephaestion:

Or another suddenly and "mysteriously" dead pope.



I think I know what you mean, the pope just prior to Jean Paul 2nd (can't remember the name) who was expected to be more liberal, but died after only a few months. I remember hearing suspicions like this and at the time thought it was just "grassy knoll thinking".

I am optimistic about one thing. Given that this pope was about as conservative on "social issues" as one could be, the odds would seem to favour someone more open, at least on the ordination of women and perhaps birth control, though probably not on abortion. That will tend to undermine the Bush Republicans in time for the 2006 mid-term elections.

But what I am worried about is that this papal succession election is coming right on top of our BC provincial election. I can just see all our BC Liberal types out there quietely whispering words of encouragement to conservative Catholics one day and liberal Catholics the next. And you can pretty much figure that the entire religious vote, Cathololic, Protestant, Jewish, Muslim, etc., will all be in an major state of excitement and agitation over what comes next.

The BC NDP will just not be able to do anything much in that kind of atmosphere. We'll be told by the organizers and experts to stay the Hell out of it, it's not our kind of game, etc., and that's just exactly where we'll end up, out of it.


From: Goose Country Road, Prince George, BC | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
MasterDebator
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 8643

posted 03 April 2005 11:21 AM      Profile for MasterDebator        Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by Hephaestion:

Or another suddenly and "mysteriously" dead pope.



I think I know what you mean, the pope just prior to Jean Paul 2nd (can't remember the name) who was expected to be more liberal, but died after only a few months. I remember hearing suspicions like this and at the time thought it was just "grassy knoll thinking".

I am optimistic about one thing. Given that this pope was about as conservative on "social issues" as one could be, the odds would seem to favour someone more open, at least on the ordination of women and perhaps birth control, though probably not on abortion. That will tend to undermine the Bush Republicans in time for the 2006 mid-term elections.

But what I am worried about is that this papal succession election is coming right on top of our BC provincial election. I can just see all our BC Liberal types out there quietely whispering words of encouragement to conservative Catholics one day and liberal Catholics the next. And you can pretty much figure that the entire religious vote, Cathololic, Protestant, Jewish, Muslim, etc., will all be in an major state of excitement and agitation over what comes next.

The BC NDP will just not be able to do anything much in that kind of atmosphere. We'll be told by the organizers and experts to stay the Hell out of it, it's not our kind of game, etc., and that's just exactly where we'll end up, out of it.


From: Goose Country Road, Prince George, BC | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
cottonwood
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posted 03 April 2005 11:31 AM      Profile for cottonwood     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by MasterDebator:

I think I know what you mean, the pope just prior to Jean Paul 2nd (can't remember the name) who was expected to be more liberal, but died after only a few months. I remember hearing suspicions like this and at the time thought it was just "grassy knoll thinking".

That was Pope John Paul I. It was speculated that he was considering reforms to the Church's position on birth control. He was Pope for 33 days before he died, officially of a heart attack, but no autopsy was done. It has been speculated that Pope John Paul II took that name as a message to anyone that might have murdered John Paul I.


From: British Columbia | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged
oldgoat
Moderator
Babbler # 1130

posted 03 April 2005 02:30 PM      Profile for oldgoat     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by Steve:

That was Pope John Paul I. It was speculated that he was considering reforms to the Church's position on birth control. He was Pope for 33 days before he died, officially of a heart attack, but no autopsy was done. It has been speculated that Pope John Paul II took that name as a message to anyone that might have murdered John Paul I.


Grassy knoll thinking indeed. Sometimes the real answer is the simple and obvious one. JP I had an unremarkable history as the Patriarch of Venice, where he was noted for his personal warmth, but could certainly never be called radical. There was no evidence he was going in any new direction on fundamental church issues. At the time of his death he was dealing with a letter admonishing the head of the Jesuits for getting too Liberal, a task that Paul VI had been working on just before he died. As far as the Vatican bank goes, it was a bit of an unpleasant mess, but the papacy had dealt with worse.

The Cardinals knew he had a bum ticker, but these are a bunch of guys who carry portable defibulators like the rest of us carry walkmen. It did come out after that he had not revealed to anyone outside of a small circle of friends that his heart was actually pretty bad. The Papacy is a stressful job.

Oh, and Fidel, the mysterious crop cicles that were found in the tulip bed behind the papal apartments the next morning were just a coincidence.....really.


From: The 10th circle | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wilf Day
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 3276

posted 07 April 2005 10:00 AM      Profile for Wilf Day     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by Michelle:
I was sure I was going to find you talking about how much better it would be if the Vatican used proportional representation to elect the new Pope.

The Archbishop of Westminster's press secretary calls for electoral reform in the Vatican:

quote:
It is a process . . that belongs to a pre-democratic age. The only electoral college is the College of Cardinals; they are appointed by the pope, and they elect his successor. . not even bishops have a say in the succession.

Some reformist Catholic groups would like to see greater participation of ordinary Catholics in the selection of bishops, and even in the election of the pope . ; but they count for very little.

The main expression of collegiality should be the bishops’ synods, which meet about every three or four years in Rome. . The fact that few people (even well-informed Catholics) know much about them, or what comes out of them, is an indication of how little impact they have made.

Bishops complain that under John Paul II they were treated like altar boys . ; restoring the bishops to their proper place in relation to the Curia will be one of their priorities in the conclave.

A further demand for reform is for greater participation in the selection of bishops by the local churches. . as late as 1829, of the 646 diocesan bishops in the Latin church, only twenty-four were directly appointed by Rome. Under Pope John Paul II there were 4,000 bishops, all appointed by the Vatican. Some mechanism for giving local churches a say in the appointment of their bishops is seen as key to the implementation of more effective collegiality.

There will be some cardinals in the conclave who will want to stick to the autocratic-centralist model, the church as a beacon on the hill in an uncertain world. But many cardinals who are gathering to elect the next pope believe that the pendulum has swung too far, and needs now to be reversed.

. . the battle over collegiality will go to the heart of the very idea of the church itself: how it relates to itself, and to the world. It will be a battle hidden from the gaze of onlookers; only those taking part will know of the fireworks that precede the white smoke.



From: Port Hope, Ontario | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560

posted 07 April 2005 10:01 AM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post

From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wilf Day
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 3276

posted 07 April 2005 10:05 AM      Profile for Wilf Day     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by Michelle:

I knew you'd like that, Michelle.


From: Port Hope, Ontario | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Hephaestion
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 4795

posted 11 April 2005 06:10 PM      Profile for Hephaestion   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post
Interesting tidbit... was everyone already aware that Ratface is a former member of The Hitler Youth?

quote:
The author of last week’s Catholic ruling on gay marriages and partnerships was a member of Hitler’s Youth in the Second World War, it has emerged.

According to reports over the weekend in The Sunday Times, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, who wrote the guidance to Catholics and Catholic politicians that described gay relationships as “deviant and evil”, was a member of Hitler’s Youth in his home region of Bavaria, Germany.

Despite leaving the Nazis in 1945, Ratzinger is famed for maintaining harshly right wing ideals, and is nicknamed “the enforcer” in the Vatican City, the paper reported.

. . .

Ratzinger was part of Hitler’s Youth until 1945, when he deserted, claiming that Hitler was the Antichrist, the paper claims. He was held as a prisoner of war by American forces after the war, before making his way through the Catholic ranks.


from "Brian's Beat" blog, reprinted from gay.com


From: goodbye... :-( | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged

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