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Author
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Topic: Sharing the Time
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estershannon2
recent-rabble-rouser
Babbler # 11140
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posted 16 December 2005 10:05 AM
The father is demanding that it's his right to have our daughter for half of each week. However, for the first 12 months of her life I was with her everyday, and he only had her when he wanted (usually 1 night a week, 1 night every 2 weeks). Is it really in her best interest (our child's) to have her away from me now half of the week? I would do anything to be able to have her for more than just half the week, regardless of any monetary issues (ie: I wouldn't ask for more child support, I just want more time with my daughter). Since she's so young, is it really his 'right' to demand that he keeps her for half of the week? Is there nothing I can do? Does a mother's say mean nothing against the father? I want him to be with our daughter, but is it not justifiable for me to want her more than just exactly half the week? On top of that, the daughter isn't with him half that time because he's working, so he stays with his family. Can I not make the decision myself that I should be with my daughter at least 4 nights out of 7? I am having such a hard time because I feel I am being bullied out of being able to spend time with my daughter, and on top of that since I only see her during weekdays and I have weekends off, and he takes her on weekends, for most of the time I'm with her I'm working. I feel like I don't have any rights, and that I have to accept that I suddenly don't get to see my daughter very often because it's his rights to take her from me that long. Am I "allowed" to say no - that I need her at least 1 more day during the week? I am going to see about Legal Aid, so thank you for the advice on that. I only make $8.50/hour fulltime so I am sure I will qualify. Thank you if someone can help... again...
From: ontario | Registered: Nov 2005
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Michelle
Moderator
Babbler # 560
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posted 16 December 2005 10:19 AM
The interests of the child should take precedence over the interests of the mother or the father, if you ask me.Is there any reason (from the child's perspective, not yours) why he should not see her half of the time? Are there issues about quality of care, or abuse? How would he be bullying you out of spending time with your daughter if he only wants her half the time? When I separated from my ex, we did shared custody, 50-50. The way we worked it was that I would have him for 4 days, and my ex would have him the next 4 days. It worked out pretty well (while we were doing it) because that way no one got all the weekends. But that can only work if both parents co-operate and think about the child instead of themselves (something that, unfortunately, didn't happen in my situation near the end of that arrangement, thus the change in arrangement). It's not about what you need, it's about what your daughter needs. You can make an arrangement where you both see her 50% of the time and work around when you both have days off, if you want to make it work.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001
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