There was a time when I agreed with these folk who thought I had a great gig. But the truth is that the magic has gone. The government continues to squeeze what little money and creativity we in the organisation have out of us, and -- like any organisation -- the petty personal politicking takes a high level of energy. I've fallen out of love with my job. This makes me pretty sad, because I love being industrious, and I feel I have a lot to give that can make people's lives better, but the truth is that I'm not making anyone's life better by being where I am, least of all my own. I really need a better reason than paying the bills (and being able to babble in comfort) to be there.

So...

how is it for you? How do you feel about your job?

And how did you end up there?

Is it where you intended to be?

What do you love about it, what is it that is really in tune with who you are?

What is it that really sucks your soul dry?

And, if you're working or not, where would you rather be? And are you going to try to get there, or do you think it's out of your reach?

[ 28 July 2005: Message edited by: Suzette ]

Wow I can really relate to that. I used to think that my whole persona was wrapped up by being the next Woodward/Bernstein or maybe Mike Royko or whatever. Bylines and articles and whatnot.

Its only really in the last several months that a lot of things have sunk in with me. Most people who even read newspaper can't name more than a few people who write for them and pretty much all of your best work lands up lining someone's birdcage anyway.

Even the beat I had (religion) began to get redundant (and I got tired of being proselytized). And the business is slowly dying of neglect, a lack of time to read, the lure of more on the Internet, and fossilized management. Newspapers used to be magical places to me. They have ceased to be that.

But I still love to write and since I am writing what I want now (here) I don't feel that I have to wrap "who I am" into a job. Its kind of liberating when you reach the stage you are actually. Like you I wanted "to make a difference." Well, there's nothing wrong with that but sometimes we choose avenues to make a difference that turn out to be dead ends. So we find other ones.

My next job looks like it will be miles away from print journalism, which I have spent 25 years working inside of (off and on) and that's OK. I just want to like what I'm doing and feel good about it. Sometimes, if we can just reduce it to a paycheque earned honestly and with some emjoyment, we don't have to get caught up in that "so what do you do?" thing that so many people use to define to others who they are.

Did any of that make any sense?

The source of the problem is the same, though, in industries like ours: the money is so tight, so those worlds can sometimes get petty in all kinds of other ways, and with the best of intentions, the strongest commitment, people get terribly worn.

My life got more complicated when I also became a primary caregiver, and discovered that, beyond a certain point, that is not something you do part-time.

At that point, I stopped caring about anything except juggling money about to pay the bills. I will work to live -- that's it. In terms of what I used to feel about my work, I'm singin' that ole Lightfoot line: "The feelin's gone, and I just can't get it back."

quote:

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"The feelin's gone, and I just can't get it back."

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Skdadl you were "reading my mind"

That's it exactly. When types of work and fields of work we once thought of as special places become mundane and like any other job, its disheartening.

I was mostly just curious about other people's experiences of work, both in the short and long term... but I really appreciate your words, all the same.

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I just want to like what I'm doing and feel good about it.

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I've always had a strong identity outside of my work -- in fact, work has always been a means of supporting my "other" existance -- so the identity crisis that comes with career change doesn't affect me as much. I've always been an artist who supports herself with a "day job". It's just that these days I prefer the day job to not involve food service, and to pay reasonably.

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Sometimes, if we can just reduce it to a paycheque earned honestly and with some emjoyment, we don't have to get caught up in that "so what do you do?" thing that so many people use to define to others who they are.

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1. I am leaving my job and going back to school for a career change. This was prompted by general dissatisfaction.

2. I ended up here by chance more or less, but did thrive once I got planted. To make a long story short, I started on a career path after college and 9/11 decimated the industry (I'm the the US). I found an entry-level clerical job, and worked my way up in the organization from there.

3. The work itself is not at all where I intended to be. But I did hope to be financially self-sufficient by this point in my life and am grateful to my job for allowing me to reach that goal.

4. Mostly what I love is the paycheck and the independence that comes from a professional position.

5. The hours and stress level suck my soul dry. I am routinely here evenings and weekends. Vacation is only a dream. Last week I was called on the carpet because I had tracked some comp time. Long story short, sometimes when I had to work excessive hours (the example in question was recently it was 16 hours on a Saturday), I would ask to come in an hour or two late some day when it was slow or take a long lunch. I'm salaried, for what it's worth, so no overtime. I was informed that this was no longer acceptable. The head guy actually said "It sounds like you think you are going to be working a 40 hour week. It won't be a 40 hour week, we don't do that here" like I was a lazy ass. I'm tired of that. I work hard, but this lifestyle is not sustainable. At the age of 27 I feel totally worn out and exhausted, and I don't think that's right.

Also, the petty bickering makes me crazy. I like working - I like feeling like I'm doing something productive. As I've moved up the ladder, my job has become less about hard work and more about "managing expectations" and other political subtleties. Everyone hates each other, and everyone is more concerned with covering their own butt than with getting the job done. I am so sick of it.

6. But here's my positive follow-up: I believe my job has given me solid professional skills to help me succeed in future jobs. And the paycheck has allowed me to take my time and think about where I would like to be next. I like to think one step ahead - even when I like my job, I'm thinking about where I want to be in a couple of years and what I need to do now to make that happen. I am grateful that this position has allowed me to do that and make this transition on my own schedule.

[ 28 July 2005: Message edited by: vmichel ]

quote:

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"The feelin's gone, and I just can't get it back."

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quote:

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When types of work and fields of work we once thought of as special places become mundane and like any other job, its disheartening.

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quote:

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Originally posted by vmichel:
Suzanne,

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quote:

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Originally posted by vmichel:

6. But here's my positive follow-up: I believe my job has given me solid professional skills to help me succeed in future jobs. And the paycheck has allowed me to take my time and think about where I would like to be next. I like to think one step ahead - even when I like my job, I'm thinking about where I want to be in a couple of years and what I need to do now to make that happen. I am grateful that this position has allowed me to do that and make this transition on my own schedule.

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Incidentally, I'm in awe of people who maintain the kind of work week you've just described. Look after yourself, eh?

[ 28 July 2005: Message edited by: Suzette ]

When I studied engineering there was a "cool" factor to it (okay, like I said, I'm an engineer ), a creativity in trying to come up with the most elegant solutions to problems, a real sense of pride when you found a design that made a seemingly impossibly complex problem simple. And in my 20's the long hours didn't seem so bad - there was a lot to learn, and something exciting about trying to get a project done running on coffee and adrenaline. And then the challenge of managing a team ... getting intelligent, creative and confident kids (the three seem to come together - not bound by old ways and sure that you have a better solution, which they often do) to reign in their egos enough to work as a team.

Twenty years later its just long hours that I'd rather be spending with my family, rushing out designs that you can take almost no pride in, and the horrible knowledge that you're finding yourself pressuring your team to do the same instead of fostering their creativity.

But, it's not one of those "define myself by my job" type of jobs, and I have to admit, that's kind of humbling sometimes. I'm not a professional. I'm "just a secretary" or "just an administrative assistant".

Basically, I see my work as something I do to pay the bills, and the fact that I can do it in a very pleasant working environment with really nice people to work with and a non-corporate atmosphere makes it pretty ideal. I'm pretty used to not doing for a living the kind of stuff that I feel defines my personality. I write for the enjoyment of it. I read and think about politics and women's issues and all sorts of other stuff for enrichment but not for pay. I do volunteer work that I enjoy, and which satisfies my need to devote some of my abilities to helping in some way. I am looking forward to finishing my degree part-time while working. It'll take a while, and I probably won't get anything tangible out of the degree beyond the piece of paper (which is actually kind of important to me). But that's okay with me - it's the learning and the milestone that make me want to do it, not ladder-climbing.

In high school I wanted to be a professional musician, and when I used to attend church, I did lots of musical stuff. I also joined a choral society in Kingston for a year during university, and really enjoyed that. Haven't been doing anything musical in Toronto beyond singing along with mp3s in my living room and kitchen. I'm kind of wishing I had more music in my life, but I'm not sorry that I didn't try to do it professionally.

The job made the template for the rest of my life outside the job. Everything personal was subrodinated to the work.

There were no illusions: I had no great expectations of 'making a difference.' I was a local TV news producer (in the US), and was fully aware that most of the work I was doing was little more than part of our societal background noise. But I liked leading crews, I liked to compete and I liked to win. I like instant feedback and I like to show off. The job was perfect for that.

As for me, I fell into what I am doing now after years of mediocre sales or customer service jobs. Now I lvoe what I do and the respect I get which is odd but hate, really hate the place I work. I have the opportunity to take my new skill set on the road, as it were, and make a bundle and work from home and I am soo going for it

quote:

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Originally posted by Suzette:

how is it for you? How do you feel about your job?

And how did you end up there?

Is it where you intended to be?

What do you love about it, what is it that is really in tune with who you are?

What is it that really sucks your soul dry?

And, if you're working or not, where would you rather be? And are you going to try to get there, or do you think it's out of your reach?

[ 28 July 2005: Message edited by: Suzette ]

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[ 28 July 2005: Message edited by: Publius ]

quote:

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Originally posted by Américain Égalitaire:
. And the business is slowly dying of neglect, a lack of time to read, the lure of more on the Internet, and fossilized management. Newspapers used to be magical places to me. They have ceased to be that.

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Hi Americain Egalitaire,

I have recently switched careers from public relations in the non-profit sector to freelance writing, editing and journalism. I don't work for a daily or weekly yet, so I'm just freelancing as much as I can at this point.

You mentioned that print journalism is "no longer a magical place for you." Do you think that the corporate concentration of the media and the advent of "free" journalism online is a barrier to the future growth of jobs in the industry?

At the same time, do you believe that the mass retirement of Baby Boomers over the next five to thirty years will create a "reading boom" that may provide further growth to the journalism industry and (hopefully) independent media?

I have operated the amputee-online.com web site since 1995. I have lost interest and gained interest in running this site numerous times, however the site itself is self-sufficient these days.

In my real job I am not so lucky. In the last 5 years I have been laid off twice, luckily in this union they have found me other positions fairly quickly. I have lost interest in ever being a computer technician in much the same way I lost interest in being a full time movie extra and tv producer.

There is no rule saying we have to be satisfied with the jobs/careers we end up in, more often by fate than chosen path in my experience. The world of employment is too finicky and the stability of the workplace is far too volatile to be counted on.

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Originally posted by Sean Cain:

Hi Americain Egalitaire,

I have recently switched careers from public relations in the non-profit sector to freelance writing, editing and journalism. I don't work for a daily or weekly yet, so I'm just freelancing as much as I can at this point.

You mentioned that print journalism is "no longer a magical place for you." Do you think that the corporate concentration of the media and the advent of "free" journalism online is a barrier to the future growth of jobs in the industry?

At the same time, do you believe that the mass retirement of Baby Boomers over the next five to thirty years will create a "reading boom" that may provide further growth to the journalism industry and (hopefully) independent media?

I am interested in your thoughts...

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First, freelancing is cool, and if I could make enough money doing it, I will someday.

On your first question, corporate concentration has played a major role in the problems that working journalists face in the mainstream. Its not just the scarcity of jobs but the growing corporatisation of the newsroom (and the concurrent growing politicization of it as well) that is harming the craft. I don't see online as a threat as most MSMers do - its actually the saviour of journalism and if the mainstream were smart they would embrace it.

Second question: I really haven't given much thought to this particular impact of mass baby boom retirement but its an interesting question. Will these people read more when they have the time? Would current reading habits of baby boomers give us a clue? Its almost impossible to say and I won't even try. Will they be interested in journalism or free inquiry? Again, one would hope so. My gut feeling is if they aren't now, they won't be later.

I do feel that newspapers are dying and they largely are the architects of their own destruction. I've seen it from the inside, off and on, for the last 25 years.

In fact, today is my last day at my newspaper. I quit.

For more, see my next rabble column where I go into some serious detail about all of this.

July 29 is a personal day of infamy, I guess. Exactly two years ago today, I lost my job in talk radio.

From the outside, I have a fantastic job. Research and writing on various causes in the nonprofit world. I spent a lot of time in school getting the skills to do this. The pay is good, the benefits are decent, the hours are usually reasonable. The hell of it is, I'm pretty good at it too.

After a few years, however, I've come to realize that I just don't belong in a 9-5, office environment. Some days I can physically feel the encroaching spiritual rot as I go through the motions on yet another meticulously researched report or development project on poverty or housing that nobody will read, never mind do anything about. Sometimes I sit in yet another interminable meeting and can actually feel myself aging to no good purpose.

Odd that I ended up here, given that I swore I'd never end up in an office, and managed to avoid it entirely well into my late 20's.

However, life has its demands. Arborwoman and I have a baby, and for the first year I'm the breadwinner - can't just go haring off holus bolus to find myself like I used to. I love my family too much to put things in jeopardy.

Mortgage and all the other imprisoning amenities of modern life all take their due as well, though the debtload is rapidly decreasing (mercifully).

I've actually realized that I am at my best when I balance two or more sources of income, at least one of them outside. My protean (but relatively successful) freelance writing career is developing along, and there is an adventuresome outdoor job not too far in my future for which I am slowly accumulating the certifications.

quote:

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Originally posted by Américain Égalitaire:

In fact, today is my last day at my newspaper. I quit.

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I wish everybody could do what they loved. I don't know what that's so impossible. I think part of it just has to do with workers not feeling like their contributions are meaningful, or feeling that they are special, or feeling like the company's gain is their gain. You have no ownership. You feel like you're meaningless. If I leave tomorrow (and I am pretty soon), it will make little to no difference to the office, nor to management. I want to make a difference, and feel like what I'm doing is important, because it's me doing it, and nobody can do it like I can.

My father is a part-time musician, and still likes his full-time job. It's a good balance; he gets paid for both, and gets to do two things he loves (more or less). His creative side gets flexed, but he also is able to pay bills, and he works for himself, which was initially a huge risk, but which has also paid off enormously.

Someday, I will do what I truly love.

One thing, though...I read Siddhartha a few years ago, and it stayed with me...there is something so appealing about the idea of being a ferryman, or a janitor, and just taking comfort in what you're doing. The reality is quite different (having worked my share of "menial" jobs before), but still...maybe own my own bookstore some day, or a farm...be a travelling blues musician...live as a philosopher, wandering the streets asking questions about life...

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Originally posted by MartinArendt:

I dream too much. That's my problem.

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No no no no no no no. That's NOT a problem - I am convinced the world desperately needs more dreamers. When we stop dreaming, we die. It is only through those dreams that we can conceive of a better life for ourselves and our loved ones and our world.

So you built castles in the air? Fine, that's where they belong. Now put foundations under them.

For this summer, I found a job with an insurance broker, and so far, I think it's easily the best job I've had. There isn't any petty bickering or office politics (unlike the hospital and government office), the hours are steady (unlike the coffee shop), there's a general routine to each day, and I don't have to break my back. I get to interact with the public, which I (for the most part) enjoy, and I get to learn the odd new skill.

What I like the most is that the job starts at 9 and ends at 5, and outside of that my time is my own. Also, as Michelle mentioned, there's a simple pleasure in seeing a list of tasks get completed, even if most of them are going to have to be repeated again the next day. And it's nice to know that the office runs smoothly and efficiently in part because of what I do.

In my life so far I have had a number of flash in the pan successes (the rest of the time I've been in the 'breadline' category.). I was only able to pursue the opportunities these successes opened up as long as there was enough passion there to energise me.

I'd like to rebuild myself into a plodder. I'm the Hare. The Tortoises are way ahead of me now.

I think that if there is any box I fit neatly into it is the passionate/inspired amateur....

I'm like the rich, in between passionately involving myself in the latest project, I am 100% comfortable with idleness.

Ps I am waiting to be fired up again.....

Pps...Would anyone like to sponsor a loser?

[ 06 August 2005: Message edited by: Keep it Clear ]

[ 06 August 2005: Message edited by: Keep it Clear ]

[ 06 August 2005: Message edited by: Keep it Clear ]