Author
|
Topic: You don't have to ask about my abortion, I'll tell you. . .
|
fern hill
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 3582
|
posted 23 February 2005 10:42 AM
I've had two, at ages 19 and 27. The first was done in Buffalo, the second in Toronto. For the first, Ontario (Canada?) still had the three-doctor panel that had to agree it was medically necessary. I had gone as far as the interview, with one male doctor only. The guy was totally cold, I couldnt' read him, couldn't tell how I was doing.How was I doing? I was terrified, not by the potential shame, but by the fact. Me? Give birth? To a child? (Years later, the scene in the film 'Alien' when the parasite alien bursts from the guy's chest perfectly caught how I was feeling.) Babies had never figured in my life plan. I never played with dolls, ferchristsake. After the interview, I freaked. "They" weren't going to allow it, I was going to be forced to do this. I was in university -- which always had been a big part of my life plan -- but because this was the good old days, I could manage (just) the money myself, which was a good thing because zippo was coming from my parents. So I got on the phone, found a clinic in Buffalo, cajoled a friend to drive me, borrowed the money and went. The procedure was simple, painless, over in minutes it seemed. What did I feel? Huge relief, my life was my own again, I could proceed. When I found out I was pregnant the second time, I was enraged. I had been using birth control the first time, but I had been absolutely religious about it since and did not DESERVE this again. But times had changed. I went to my family doctor, who asked gingerly what I wanted to do. Abortion, I said. Fine, he said and referred me to a Toronto gynecologist. Again, painless, over in minutes (this time, though, with a very snarky nurse that the nice drugs kept me from bopping). Again, huge relief. That's it. No grief, no regret, no shame. I was smart, informed, connected and had access to a friend with a car and friends with money to lend. I had the total support of friends and family. Not everyone has these advantages. Which is why the only lasting impact was to make me a life-long pro-choice and CARAL supporter.
From: away | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
skdadl
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 478
|
posted 23 February 2005 12:00 PM
Thanks for the testimony, fern hill. I know women who were pretty much forced to bear their babies and then give them up for adoption in the days when abortion was illegal in Canada and when everything about "unwed motherhood" was deeply stimatized. If you want to hear heart-wrenching stories of experiences like those and the lifelong effects on the women involved, find a copy of Anne Petrie's book Gone to an Aunt's. (I used to have a good link for it but for some reason can't find it now.) There is the sadness that lasts, even when contact in later life turns out to be good, which it often, sadly, does not.
From: gone | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
smokingeatingdrinkingprohibited
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 7699
|
posted 23 February 2005 12:50 PM
I am really undecided on the issue. The claim about women being allowed to have choices about their bodies does appeal to my reason. I can't even come up with much that is useful in applying blame or sin to the issue.More interested about what abortion does to the value that we hold for life. For example, engaging in absolutely unnecessary war is like saying "yeah sure, we value life. But we'll give up a few of ours in exchange for land & a lot of yours". I think that even being able to calculate how many people will day in a operation x to me is an admission that we've compromised on our regard to the value of life. Maybe the analogy with war is a bad one. I'm just curious what happens to our conception of life, and its expendability with abortions. What about in light of speaking to couples who are unable to conceive? Not really looking for alternatives or solutions. Curious to explore the effects. Thanks
From: Glasgee | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
smokingeatingdrinkingprohibited
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 7699
|
posted 23 February 2005 01:59 PM
quote: Well, SEDP, my own feeling is that I ain't go nuthin' to say about someone else does with their body...
As a society we do say what other's can do with their bodies! What if I use my body to smack you in the head? Or worse, to steal your Britney Spears CD collection? I think you'd have something to say. I guess my question is whether, along with maintaining that we're autonomous beings we can believe that our actions don't affect others. If yes, fine, case closed. If not - it's interesting to see what wider effects there could be. I'm interested to hear what F.H. thinks. Especially, with the benefit of time since her procedure.
From: Glasgee | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
fern hill
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 3582
|
posted 23 February 2005 08:04 PM
You're welcome to all those who thanked me for "sharing", even though I don't think I've ever intentionally shared in my life. My purpose was to elicit stories from ordinary women who had abortions, who didn't go nuts, who didn't feel the need to repent, beat breasts, or threaten others with breast cancer or infertility. This was written in reaction to the CBC National piece last night on those pathetic women who have had abortions that they now regret and who now (unaccountably) want to stop others from having abortions. They claim abortion "hurts women". Well it didn't hurt me. I wish I hadn't had to do it, but I'm damn glad it was available to me. I may contribute something like this to Audra's Clarification project . I hope it doesn't come to that. If I have a regret it is that we have to fight this fight over and over again. (Thanks to this little girl who added her story.)
From: away | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
ShyViolet
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 6611
|
posted 23 February 2005 09:53 PM
quote: Originally posted by Papal_Bull: I'm sorry, but what is an IUD?
IUDs (Intrauterine Devices)
An IUD is a small device shaped like a T. It is placed inside of the uterus and it releases a small amount of hormones, which help to prevent pregnancy. The arms of the IUD contain copper, which prevent sperm from entering the uterus. The IUD can stay in your uterus for up to 10 years. It is 99% effective at preventing pregnancy. An IUD requires visits with a health care provider to have it inserted and to check to make sure it stays in place.
Source
From: ~Love is like pi: natural, irrational, and very important~ | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
remind
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 6289
|
posted 24 February 2005 08:48 PM
You know what? Other peoples/couples problems with conceiving, is NOT the problem of a woman who has become pregnant and did not want to.Moreover, anyone's problems with conception, will never be the woman's problem, unless of course she "chooses" to make it her problem too. Conception of life, if you mean what life entails, is different for every person in every way possible. If you mean when a fetus becomes a baby? When it is born and takes a breath IMO. Until that time, it is actually only a theoretical entity. So what about in light of, it is a woman's choice and business, and no other person's or people's.
quote: Originally posted by smokingeatingdrinkingprohibited: I'm just curious what happens to our conception of life, and its expendability with abortions. What about in light of speaking to couples who are unable to conceive?
From: "watching the tide roll away" | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
'topherscompy
rabble-rouser
Babbler # 2248
|
posted 01 March 2005 12:38 AM
when abortion was illegal: untold stories (quicktime, appx. 70 megs, 28 mins) quote: This Academy Award-nominated film features compelling first person accounts which reveal the physical, legal, and emotional consequences during the era when abortion was a criminal act. Remembrances include those of women who experienced illegal abortions, doctors who risked imprisonment and loss of their licenses for providing illegal abortions, and individuals who broke the law by helping women find safe abortions.
edit: this video and more (including many unrelated topics) can be found at the demandmedia video blog [ 01 March 2005: Message edited by: 'topherscompy ]
From: gone | Registered: Feb 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
|