By accepting these sentimental gifts from our grandmothers are we not saying we accept the fact that they were abused by there white male bigots.

[ 16 February 2005: Message edited by: FreedomOfChoice ]

I'd be more inclined to open things up to other colours and forms - but hasn't that been done a lot recently?

Two marriages I've been to in France - in one the bride had a gown in sort of muted pastel medieval colours - she looked like a faerie queen from Brittany - their wedding was outdoors, sort of on the moors, under a moody sky - the other was a Jewish wedding (obviously they had done the obligatory civic wedding first, the only one with legal standing) the bride was Moroccan; the groom a Canadian of Polish origin. Lots of good cheer at that "mixed" (Ashkenazi and Sephardic) wedding!

Both weddings had lots of good food, wine and music, of course.

I haven't been to a gay wedding yet! I do have friends in France who did the PACS (more or less civil union) thing but I wasn't there - and I have two lesbian friends here who were supposed to tie the knot - but alas they broke up.

Edited to add: not all abusers are white bigots, and I suppose not all are male. Alas the marriage of my grandma and grandpa evokes some of the colour and sex complexities Auntie raised in her column this week.

[ 16 February 2005: Message edited by: lagatta ]

Personally, i have no use for these confections - nor for elaborate, expensive weddings.
I was married at city hall, wearing a simple ivory dress sewn by my mother, and had an informal party at my new home. My husband, though Caucasian, has never so much as called me a bad name in 24 years.
My mother was married at a different city hall, wearing a fawn-coloured suit and a neat little hat. She was abused for many years.
Both my grandmothers wore white, though nothing terribly fancy. One was widowed at age 32, before the romance even wore off, and never married again. The other raised 4 step-children and 3 of her own; her husband treated her with affection and respect through all of their life together.

My daughter spent two months shopping for her perfect lacy white gown; seven months planning her wedding and reception. She and her groom payed - a lot! - for everything. It was all very pretty. Four years, one house and one baby later, they seem happy.

What made it fascinating (even to me) was that it was a perfectly classical style — almost iconic — but all in jet black. It didn't look "Gothy", or like it was stolen from the wardrobe room of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. If anything, it looked like a classical dress viewed in negative.

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What's with this stupid white dress and all the hand me downs from our grandmothers who were abused during there marriages.
By accepting these sentimental gifts from our grandmothers are we not saying we accept the fact that they were abused by there white male bigots.

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Am I the only one here who can see that this is clearly a troll? And a rather ham-handed one at that?

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Originally posted by voice of the damned:

Am I the only one here who can see that this is clearly a troll? And a rather ham-handed one at that?

And what's with this "we" business in reference to accepting grandma's wedding dress? The writer's profile lists his gender as male.

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Don't feed the trolls!

(Oops, I didn't read past the first three posts when I posted this. Glad others noticed too.)

[ 17 February 2005: Message edited by: Michelle ]

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Originally posted by voice of the damned:
And what's with this "we" business in reference to accepting grandma's wedding dress? The writer's profile lists his gender as male.

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Well I guess we've found the male interested in wedding dresses Magoo thought was so rare.

After my divorce, eleven years later, I rejected the trappings of "traditional" weddings.

When my daugther-in-law married my son, she made her own lovely gown, simple & extremely tasteful.

Of my two daughters, one is married & one single. My married daughter bought a lovely "used" gown, altered it slightly, & looked beautiful in it.

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Originally posted by lagatta:
Oh, I thought so too but it was a fun topic and not something I'd get particularly worked up about in any event so what the heck .

I really wish I had the ability to post pictures. Renzo is so well turned out in his white tie and tail.

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Same here.
After all, spring is coming; all kinds - and i mean, all kinds - of people are planning weddings; the topic might even be sort of relevant.

I'm trying to imagine our friends if I had worn a traditional wedding dress down the aisle of that tiny chapel. Rolling about in the tiny pews, they would have been.

when my mom got married to my father, she wore blue and white checked bellbottom pants with a matching jacket and dark blue shirt under that. for shoes she wore highheeled white leather clogs. i know it doesn't sound pretty, but it was kind of cute!

Hmm, although my black cat Renzo has undergone that evil operation, he likes girl cats - he is a horrid heterosexist but I think it is just territorial - my gay and lesbian human friends forgive him. He had a sweetie who was ALL black (Renzo is sort of between an all-black and a tuxedo - he has a small white bib and his toes - just his toes - are white as well) and alas her humans moved away.

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Originally posted by shaolin:
Shit - does this mean I'm going to have to pick an outfit too?! I can't really see wearing a dress, at least not without trousers underneath. Me thinks it may be a good excuse for a new pair of sneakers though!

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Gril, you always have to pick an outfit, even if you're just going to the pub, or the corner store, or bed (well, no... now that i recall those distant years, maybe that one's god-given). Nothing wrong with trousers. I've worn a dress maybe five times in the last 20 years - the same dress, actually; a long, slinky black job with big red flowers. Once i outgrew that, dresses pretty much lost their appeal.

At city hall, the couple ahead of us was about 17 each. The bride wore new jeans with an elastic belly; the groom had on his old ones; neither had invested in new sneakers or shirt. The mother of the bride wore her Sunday dress and a permanent scowl. Two other young waifs, no flowers.
Then, here we come, with mother, children, brothers, sisters-in-law, friends, all shined up, spiffy, solemn and happy...
I've often wondered how long those kids lasted.

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Originally posted by lagatta:
Two marriages I've been to in France - in one the bride had a gown in sort of muted pastel medieval colours - she looked like a faerie queen from Brittany - their wedding was outdoors, sort of on the moors, under a moody sky

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