I personally know 4 divorced fathers who tell horrible stories about divorce and child custody. They all tell the same story : their word is worth half that of their ex-wife in court, they have to struggle just to get visiting rights (shared parenting or actual physical custody are impossible dreams) and their ex-wives violate the visitation agreements with impunity. These guys all seem reasonable and rational, and I don't doubt their commitment to being fathers, so this makes me think we have a big problem in this country.

Why haven't we got shared parenting yet?

Does gender equity demand that 50% of custodial parents be men?

To what degree is there a link between "deadbeat dads" and inadequate access provisions?

In fact, I would argue feminists could be your natural ally in this argument. The fact that women are routinely awarded custody of children and are routinely given greater weight in court has a lot to do with societal perceptions and traditional beliefs. Primarily, that women are better care givers due to their maternal "instincts" or "nature." And it is assumed all women have such a nature or instincts.

Ask yourself, Paul, why is it women are behind men in just about every measure of socio-economic status but the care and raising of children? Is it because our paternal society has determined that the primary role of women is as home makers and child rearers?

Can you see how bigoted your argument is?

paul lynde jr.:

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I understand that the federal government has been stalling on changes to divorce legislation to bring in automatic shared parenting. From what I read, their hesitation is driven by the vehement opposition of NAC and other feminist groups to this change.

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I too am interested as to why you chose to introduce a discussion on the concept of shared parenting in this way. Are you looking for a debate on feminist opposition to shared parenting? If so, can you supply me with a few links that illustrate this "vehement" opposition by NAC and other feminist groups - I haven't heard of it, and am truly interested.

Liam McCarthy:

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Would you agree that we ought to be risk averse when it comes to our nation's children? If a man beats his wife should we not assume that he might beat his child. Despite the way you have framed the debate, I have known a number of cases where the extension of custody resulted in tragedy.

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I guess it was Paul's tone, but why did the second post on this thread have to introduce fathers that are a threat to their children?

Liam McCarthy:

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Paul, my argument isn't based on bigotry. I knew a case where a man had a long history of spousal abuse and was extended partial custody of his child. The child was murdered by said gentleman shortly after. I'm seeing if we agree that people who are demonstrably violent within their home should not be extended custody of children even if they haven't hit the kid yet. While it is not always the case that a man who hits his wife will also hit a child, it is often enough the case that we ought to exercise caution in extending these people custody (and yes the anomolous reverse case should also hold true).

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Agreed. Bad parents should be scrutinised carefully. Now what about shared parenting?

As far as I know there is nothing in the law that dictates custody arrangements for children of separating couples. The choice is up to the mother and the father, and they are free to choose shared parenting if they wish. I am also pretty sure that in Canada a large majority of separating/divorcing parents do not end up in court, where a third party decides custody of the children. Most couples decide themselves the division of care between mother and father after separation, and if more are not choosing the option of shared parenting - there must be other reasons.

I think the answer has more to do with "societal perceptions and traditional beliefs" [WingNut] and how these factors impact on the parents making these difficult choices, rather than with some antiquated law that needs to be changed.

Parents need to know that shared parenting in many cases is a viable option that is the best choice for the children, and it isn't a bad deal for fathers and mothers either. It'll be a matter of education and time.

paul lynde jr.:

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There was an article in the Globe and Mail following the Andrea Yates verdict that said in the last 15 years there have been about 600 children murdered by parents in Canada. Of those, a bit more than half were murdered by their fathers, a little less than half by their mothers. The really interesting thing was that fathers tended to murder older children, mothers murdered young children. Isn't it usually younger children that are involved in custody disputes?

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Jeepers! More about murdering children.