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The 36-year-old raised almost $2,700 in pledges over four months and then had her thick, red locks shaved off in a local Cops for Cancer event on the weekend.

Her effort was deeply personal — Fearnall’s father died of cancer five years ago, her cousin is battling the disease and so is her best friend’s husband. She says she felt it was the least she could do in the face of so much pain.

But when she showed up for work Tuesday at Nathaniel’s restaurant in Owen Sound, an upscale eatery, her employers told her to take the summer off — without pay.

[snip]

The point isn’t disputed by the owners of Nathaniel’s, who suggested Fearnall take a leave of absence and “spend time with her kids” after she showed up for her afternoon shift.

“Our staff is expected to come dressed appropriately and we did not feel that this was appropriate, but that’s not the biggest issue. We told her how we felt before (she shaved her head),” said Jeff Ferris, who along with Dan Hilliard opened the downtown restaurant five and half years ago.

“She could have done a multitude of different things to support her cause that wouldn’t have affected her work, but she chose to do it in a way that we told her was inappropriate for our business.”

Both owners argue they told Fearnall well in advance of last weekend’s event that they would not be pleased if she shaved her head. Hilliard even went as far as suggesting she wear a wig.

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emphasis mine

...because women who work outside the home do it for fun, not because they need the money, and we can all take the summer off!

quote:

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Nathaniel's Restaurant
215 8Th Street East
Owen Sound, ON N4K 1L2
519-371-3440

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Originally posted by Scott Piatkowski:
Nathaniel's Restaurant
215 8Th Street East
Owen Sound, ON N4K 1L2
519-371-3440

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Flood that restaurant with calls! I'll be calling as soon as I get home tonight!

[Edited to add: polite calls! Non-abusive calls! Non-threatening calls!]

[ 05 June 2008: Message edited by: Michelle ]

I can see this morphing into a Timbit-sized issue. The restaurant is small, but I don't know anyone who hasn't been touched by cancer and wouldn't want to support a woman who took action to raise money for the cause.

And look at the picture - how is that different than any woman who keeps her hair cut short? I know lots of women who like their hair short like that.

[ 05 June 2008: Message edited by: Michelle ]

Sure it wasn't a upscale clientel, but it made people nervous at first as they thought I actually had cancer.

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Originally posted by Michelle:
Yeah, the cancer part makes the story especially sympathetic - but quite frankly, I think it's appalling even if she just decided to shave her head for a lark. It's her hair, her head. No one else's business what she does with it!

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And look at the picture - how is that different than any woman who keeps her hair cut short? I know lots of women who like their hair short like that.

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[ 05 June 2008: Message edited by: Pogo ]

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I find the actions of the male owners of the restaurant to be to the extreme ends of male patriarchy

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Indeed.

In the medieval period, masters could compel their apprentices to follow regulations on hair length, enforcing their low status and servitude.

(Well, I removed the very long URL because it looked right to me but it was reacting all wrong! Anne's hairstyle is almost exactly like Stacey Fearnall's.)

[ 05 June 2008: Message edited by: Sharon ]

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Originally posted by Pogo:
If appearance means nothing at work, why do we dress up for the interview.

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Her employer, Dan Hilliard, says his restaurant has certain standards prohibiting men from wearing earrings and requiring employees to keep their hair at a reasonable length.

He says Fearnall is still on the payroll and she can return to work once she sprouts some locks.

Hilliard admits the story isn't great PR for the restaurant but as far as he's concerned, it's an internal staff problem.

He says he's already heard from some customers who agree with him and say they would have been "appalled" to have been served at Fearnell's table.

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He says he's already heard from some customers who agree with him and say they would have been "appalled" to have been served at Fearnell's table.

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So I guess bald men or men with really short hair also can't work there. And all employees need to leave their earrings at home? Or just the men?

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Originally posted by Michelle:

What's your point?

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The job is front line customer service in a volatile industry. A large part of the job is based on presentation. I have been told to change my appearance in circumstances that were far less related to the financial well being of the business. From the quotes it appears that she was warned that shaving her head was not acceptable.

That's incredible. Sorry, I just really don't have much else to say to you on this, Pogo. Thanks for the clarification.

Everyone else: Are you planning to call these sexist guys and tell them what's what when it comes to a woman's right not to have her length of hair dictated to her by a male boss at a restaurant? I'm looking forward to doing so tonight. Hopefully I'll catch them at their busy time.

[Edited to add what I'm sure all good babblers know already - but please don't be abusive when you call! I'm sure none of us would be, of course...]

[ 05 June 2008: Message edited by: Michelle ]

quote:

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Jeff Ferris

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or

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Dan Hilliard

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Originally posted by Michelle:
Wow. I didn't think your point would actually be to defend male bosses telling female staff what hairstyles are acceptable.

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Would it make a difference if it was a female boss? The reason they are doing it is dollars and cents.

[ 05 June 2008: Message edited by: Pogo ]

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Originally posted by Michelle:
Sorry, I just really don't have much else to say to you on this, Pogo.

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Anyhow...so I've got the facebook group written up - I'm just hesitating to put it live in case there might be a good reason not to. Fearnall doesn't seem to mind the publicity, so hopefully she wouldn't mind this...but it seems presumptuous since I don't know her.

quote:

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Originally posted by Pogo:

Would it make a difference if it was a female boss? The reason they are doing it is dollars and cents.

[ 05 June 2008: Message edited by: Pogo ]

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Pogo, you're sounding a bit too much like Bob Ringma for my liking.

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If I hired blacks or gays, and my clients found it offensive, I would make them work in the back of the shop.

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[ 05 June 2008: Message edited by: Michelle ]

A quick read of this important activism case will explain what I mean.

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Originally posted by Scott Piatkowski:
Pogo, you're sounding a bit too much like Bob Ringma for my liking.

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He says he's already heard from some customers who agree with him and say they would have been "appalled" to have been served at Fearnell's table.

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And many more others are calling saying otherwise?

I don't see anything similar for Ontario.

[ 05 June 2008: Message edited by: sgm ]

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Originally posted by remind:

Regarding the dress code thing, of pogo's, did not a ruling come down that strikes down the imposition of dress code unless the employer was going to pay for uniforms? Hair is not part of a dress code. Uncovered or unbound long hair is part of the public safety and food safe directives, not a part of dress codes.

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This is more of a grooming code. Found a bit online about the legal issues.

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In many cases it may be appropriate to have dress codes or standards that are different for men and women. However, what you want to ensure is that the standard itself is imposed in a way that is comparable across genders. For example, a dress code that says “men cannot have long hair and women with long hair are expected to keep it tidy” is more comparable across genders than a dress code that simply bans ponytails for men only. Review your policies to ensure they are applied equally and comparably across genders and that they treat everyone fairly regardless of their gender.

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Maybe I'm just being too cautious and I should throw it open and invite Facebook friends. I can always change the opening preamble if Stacey doesn't want her name on it. She's getting lots of press on this already anyhow...

The Facebook group

[ 05 June 2008: Message edited by: Michelle ]

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Dress codes are a part of frontline customer service especially in businesses marketing to high end customer bases. Customers are looking for people that conform to their stereotypes of 'normal'. Businesses that want to earn a living try to meet that expectation.

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And what if the restaurant had announced that one of its servers did this to raise money for cancer research? What freakish effrontery!!

And what an outrageously provocative sight to inflict upon the poor beleaguered folks of Owen Sound, who are already feeling fragile enough these days, what with all those bike theft vigilantes peering into their windows in the middle of the night.

[ 05 June 2008: Message edited by: Sineed ]

Check out that picture - she's beautiful, by any standards! Okay, I know that was superficial of me, but I can't imagine anyone being disturbed at being served by her.

Something to keep in mind:

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Update - Thanks to everyone for their calls and messages. It is good to know that we are not the only ones who think this is wrong. I talked to someone at the Ministry of Labour and it turns out what Stacey’s employers did is not illegal, although she did say it might be a human rights issue. Here is a link to the story in the Sun Times. I won’t be posting a new photo for a few days just in case others want to read the story here. In the future, if you want to give someone the link to this page, click on the permalink (#) at the top of the page and copy and paste it. That way, the link will always bring them to this page, even if I post new pictures.

Update #2 - Things seem to be getting a little out of control. Stacey has been swamped with interview requests from across the country which she is finding overwhelming. Unfortunately, we have also heard some disturbing stories about the treatment of Dan and his restaurant. Everyone needs to remember that screaming and threatening people is not a reasonable solution to any problem. The goal is not to ruin Dan’s life or his business. Everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is to admit and learn from these mistakes. All Stacey wanted to do was to stand up for her beliefs and be a good role model for her daughters. We all need to take the high road. Peace, Happiness.

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After reading the article today on the front page of my local paper the Sun Times I had a lot of respect for her. After reading the blog posting it has gone up for both of them. What a good example they are setting for others on many fronts.

I wish them all the best.

[ 05 June 2008: Message edited by: Bookish Agrarian ]

People who lose their head and body hair (including eyebrows and eyelashes) do to chimotherapy do NOT look good, far from it - but that is why there are such campaigns in solidarity with people who face at once a potentially fatal - and potentially very painful - illness as well as stigmatisation and rude stares. That is the whole point.

Truly bizarre, when this is a campaign for pediatric cancer care

Eatery owners "a wreck" (but still refusing to admit they did anything wrong)

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The owners of an Owen Sound restaurant who laid off a waitress for shaving her head for a cancer fundraiser are a "physical wreck" a day after the story made national headlines.

The door at Nathaniel's, the upscale Owen Sound eatery, was locked last night. The lights were out and a statement was taped to the window.

In the statement, Dan Hilliard and Jeff Ferris -- the restaurant's owner and manager -- reiterated that waitress Stacey Fearnall was not fired and she received fair warning that if she shaved her head for the Cops for Cancer fundraiser it would not be taken lightly.

They called the statement their "final comments" to the media.

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Keith (AE) tipped me off about this story on the Facebook group. (We miss you on babble, Keith!)

Fearnall never claimed to have been fired. She told the truth - they laid her off for cutting her hair. And now they get to live with the consequences.

An interesting sidenote - Jeff Ferris, the guy who laid her off for chopping off her hair, donated to her campaign.

BTW, I went 10 pages into the comments after the CBC article, and the commenters there aren't generally the most enlightened people on the planet. And there wasn't even ONE SINGLE COMMENT in support of the owners' action. Not one.

Even babble didn't manage that.

[ 06 June 2008: Message edited by: Michelle ]

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Originally posted by Michelle:

Even babble didn't manage that.

[ 06 June 2008: Message edited by: Michelle ]

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Originally posted by Accidental Altruist:
what're the odds that a male working at Nathaniel's has hair about the same length as Stacey's?

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The owner of Nathaniel’s Restaurant has apologized for suggesting employee

Stacey Fearnall take a leave of absence when she came to work after shaving her head in the Owen Sound Cops for Cancer fundraiser.

In a written statement, restaurant owner Dan Hilliard offered his “sincere apologies to Mrs. Fearnall, the Canadian Cancer Society, Cops For Cancer and the public for failing to resolve the issue of Mrs. Fearnall shaving her head for Cops For Cancer prior to Mrs. Fearnall contacting the media.”

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Mrs. Fearnall was not fired. While it is true that there was some discussion of Mrs. Fearnall having the summer off to spend with her children and husband this possibility was not pursued.”

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"I'm sorry you're upset you vase is broken"

not:

"I'm sorry I broke your vase"

Sorry, that's not gonna do it. Are you going to write a letter to the editor, Francesca?

On the other hand, its potential closing impacts all the families involved, including most likely his, that is if he has a family.

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Originally posted by Michelle:
Yeah, that really wasn't an apology at all, was it? Basically, he was saying, "I'm sorry to everyone for Stacey Fearnall's bad behaviour."

Sorry, that's not gonna do it. Are you going to write a letter to the editor, Francesca?

They haven't been open since, huh? That's really something.

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uh no

While I think the initial action was horrible, and I feel terribly for the anxiety and shame forced upon the server, the restaurant owner's livelihood is destroyed. Destroyed. Does this punishment really fit the crime? It would be nice if he apologized sincerely for his error, but I can certainly understand the bitterness he must feel after the extreme consequences he suffered. Even the server's family doesn't think he deserves what he got.

How many of us have our livelihoods destroyed with a singular capitulation the sexism that pervades our daily lives? I think there's a shade of scapegoating going on here.

[ 09 June 2008: Message edited by: martin dufresne ]

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Originally posted by Catchfire:
Am I being too sympathetic?

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You know, I feel really bad for the restaurant's owner. Sexism is everywhere in society, especially the kind that thinks it's not okay for a woman to shave her head, that women should adhere to beauty conventions that don't apply to men. In fact, he's not even the only person in the restaurant, let alone Owen Sound, that thinks he was right to do what he did. [/qb]

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And do we really think that after Good Morning America runs this story they'll hire a bald woman to anchor the show?

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While I think the initial action was horrible, and I feel terribly for the anxiety and shame forced upon the server, the restaurant owner's livelihood is destroyed. Destroyed.

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Does this punishment really fit the crime?

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It would be nice if he apologized sincerely for his error, but I can certainly understand the bitterness he must feel after the extreme consequences he suffered.

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Even the server's family doesn't think he deserves what he got.

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[qb]How many of us have our livelihoods destroyed with a singular capitulation the sexism that pervades our daily lives? I think there's a shade of scapegoating going on here.

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Again, you are failing to take note of the sexism that has destroyed thousands if not millions of women's lives and careers and you are telling us, basically thats ok, no problem, as long as it is not a "man's" livelihood that is destroyed!

Few and far between are the times when you see an owner or manager pressured to back down from labour abuses.

So is this guy a scapegoat? I suppose in a way he is since owners of restaurants and stores get away with this kind of shit all the time. But does that mean that because everyone else gets away with it, this guy should too?

He hasn't even admitted he did anything wrong. He could have made this right once the publicity broke. For instance, he could have apologized to Fearnall and offered to match her $2,700 donation (and who knows, maybe shave his head for the cause!) to show that he really means it.

But he didn't. He insisted he did nothing wrong, and that somehow this is her fault for not having done what she was told when they told her they didn't want her to shave her head for this charity. And even this "apology" still implies that it was her fault for going to the media before he had a chance to resolve it with her.

Frankly, I think it's too bad that this sort of workplace abuse doesn't make it to the papers more often.

[ 09 June 2008: Message edited by: Michelle ]

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Originally posted by remind:
I think there is a definite shade of sexism going on with you!

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Originally posted by Michelle:
Could you please not personally attack people while making your point?

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As to the topic, well, it's taken a turn hasn't it?

We don't have a lot of information, in terms of what the restaurant owner was/is like as a manager, historically, towards men and women he's employed. Sure we can assume a lot, but we actually don't have that info.

If the restaurant closes, yes, that's a big huge deal.

Sexism and misogyny, and I will link in racism and hatred towards POC into my analysis, are as big a deal as losing your restaurant business to those who experience one or both.

Results? Poor mental and physical health due to stress and harassment on the job, with no recourse. The ongoing wearing down of the soul, mind and body of continuous, ongoing, relentless racism and/or sexism every day, at your job, in the streets, at school, in the home, in the media. To be painfully clear, I'm not trying to be metaphoric and I'm not exaggerating. This is as real and as big a deal as losing one's restaurant business. I could argue bigger, but I don't think this thread is the place to get into that.

Oppression kills, literally. Anyone who argues otherwise hasn't lived it, and listening to someone who has no idea what they're talking about isn't my idea of vigorous intellectual-political exchange. If it happens to be an oppression that you, personally, don't experience, wisdom I have learned is STFU and listen. (I'm not directing this at anyone in particular, btw.)

Punishment fit the crime? I can't say. I didn't want this guy'a restaurant to close but I also don't want there to be any more sexism and racism in the world. Will the closing of this particular restaurant accomplish that? No. Will owner dude realize the error of his ways and become anti-sexist? No. Is that goal even what people wanted, the people who called him and expressed their disagreement with him over this? I have no idea.

My concern (and remind, honestly, I think I deserved a bit more good faith) comes from the fact that the outrage that incidents like this generate is largely histrionic and sensationalistic. I feel like the sentiment around this woman lets us off the hook from the pervasive sexism entrenched in our soicety, as if leaving abusive messages and destructive reviews makes up for the fact that most people think women shouldn't shave their heads, should look nice and cowtow to male authority. When corporate America (like GMA) starts holding up these incidents as pet causes under the aegis of "feminism," well, we should be getting suspicious.

[ 09 June 2008: Message edited by: martin dufresne ]

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Originally posted by Catchfire:
I take it for granted that this woman suffered sexism, and that there should never be excuses for this sort of behaviour. I also think the reaction by the public was justified, because as many have mentioned, employers will think twice (we hope) before doing something this absurd again.

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Originally posted by Catchfire:
I suppose I was a bit unclear.

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I take it for granted that this woman suffered sexism,

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...I also think the reaction by the public was justified, because as many have mentioned, employers will think twice (we hope) before doing something this absurd again.

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My concern (and remind, honestly, I think I deserved a bit more good faith) comes from the fact that the outrage that incidents like this generate is largely histrionicand sensationalistic.

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I feel like the sentiment around this woman lets us off the hook from the pervasive sexism entrenched in our soicety,

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as if leaving abusive messages and destructive reviews makes up for the fact that most people think women shouldn't shave their heads, should look nice and cowtow to male authority.

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When corporate America (like GMA) starts holding up these incidents as pet causes under the aegis of "feminism," well, we should be getting suspicious.

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I'm not so much asking us to have a heart for this restaurant owner (although I do feel sorry for him) so much as questioning why our "outrage" is directed at him, and not at why he felt it was okay to act like this in the first place.

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Originally posted by Sven:
That’s one of the beautiful things about a free-market.

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I like how you snuck that in there.

[ 09 June 2008: Message edited by: just one of the concerned ]

quote:

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Originally posted by Stargazer:
...it is a whole lot easier to make an example of this man than it is to create a society where sexism is non-existent.

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Personally, I think that had this woman not been involved in fund raising for cancer, and had shaved her head because maybe that is what she likes to do when weather gets warm, there wouldn't be too many outraged males, that's for sure. In fact, I'd bet money on it the abuse would mainly be heaped on the woman.

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This flies in the face of yet another one of Dan Hilliard's lies when he says he would have liked to work things out "before Mrs. Fearnall went to the media".

Way to dig Stacey with your so-called apology, Hilliard. Who's your PR spin doctor, anyway? You should fire him, as this apology is as transparent as glass. I'm not buying it, and I doubt any other intelligent person would, either.

Hilliard's statement that Nathaniel's is " like a family" makes me sick. The only family that hurts each other worse is the mafia.

Continue the boycott!

Sign the petition!

quote:

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Stargazer: ...Personally, I think that had this woman not been involved in fund raising for cancer, and had shaved her head because maybe that is what she likes to do when weather gets warm, there wouldn't be too many outraged males, that's for sure.

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