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Author Topic: Men are from Orion, Women are from Orillia
nonsuch
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posted 11 March 2002 02:00 AM      Profile for nonsuch     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
It's march 11 now.
(assume all disclaimers, especially the one that saying this is not about me*)
(*I went for pottery - serious outlay!)


Ch. 6. Mr. And Mrs X take up hobbies.

Mrs. X is interested in quilting. She forks out $30 for a book, $68 for fabric. In six months, she ends up with a blanket – a present to one of the kids. Then she’ll join a quilting group, go out one evening a week, and continue to produce ever more intricate functional pieces. After four or five, she may, reluctantly, agree to sell one, and with the proceeds, buy a quilting-frame.

What craft does Mr X choose? Blacksmithing. $2000 for the forge, another $900, give or take, for tools, half a dozen books at $30 each. The garage must needs be reorganized to make room. In six months, he will have made four interesting, if homely, garden ornaments. Then winter comes; the equipment gets shoved to one side so that car can go back in. The iron-working equipment will never be touched again.


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sherpafish
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posted 11 March 2002 02:05 AM      Profile for sherpafish   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
she may, reluctantly, agree to sell one

Capitalist prostitute.

quote:
he will have made four interesting, if homely, garden ornaments

Handy around the home. A good provider. Suffering artist.

(joke! joke!)


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Victor Von Mediaboy
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posted 11 March 2002 10:15 AM      Profile for Victor Von Mediaboy   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Who the hell takes up blacksmithing?!
From: A thread has merit only if I post to it. So sayeth VVMB! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skdadl
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posted 11 March 2002 10:46 AM      Profile for skdadl     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Well, there's a horse -- obviously, there's a horse -- and it sounds as though the horse is being neglected. The very omission of any mention of the horse is evidence of neglect and animal abuse.

Does the OSPCA know about this guy?


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Rebecca West
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posted 11 March 2002 11:54 AM      Profile for Rebecca West     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I went in for pottery too - too expensive. I'll stick to knitting.

Oh, and collecting - I collect half-finished knitting projects.


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dee
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posted 11 March 2002 11:57 AM      Profile for dee     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I collect too. Unfinished chrochet masterpieces... and unused yarn.
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nonsuch
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posted 11 March 2002 12:10 PM      Profile for nonsuch     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
No other his and hers hobby stories?

(btw, ironwork has been quite popular in the last few years. Some people are very good at it. A hand-wraught gate will set you back $3-4000.)


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nonsuch
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posted 11 March 2002 03:24 PM      Profile for nonsuch     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Mr. and Mrs. X are out of shape.
She buys a pair of sneakers and joins a couple of friends for early morning walks.
He buys a stationary bicycle, a rowing machine and treadmill, dismantles the dining table to set up a gym, where he works out regularly for a week.

Mr. and Mrs. X learn new skills.
She takes an evening class in woodworking at the local high-school.
He takes flying lessons.


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Victor Von Mediaboy
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posted 11 March 2002 03:25 PM      Profile for Victor Von Mediaboy   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Such misandry!
From: A thread has merit only if I post to it. So sayeth VVMB! | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
nonsuch
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posted 11 March 2002 06:19 PM      Profile for nonsuch     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Not at all.
Fearless investigative journalism.
(Could cite names and dates, but Deep Pocket would never speak to me again.)

[ March 11, 2002: Message edited by: nonesuch ]


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Victor Von Mediaboy
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posted 11 March 2002 06:20 PM      Profile for Victor Von Mediaboy   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Ah. Didn't understand that Mr and Mrs X were real folk.

[ March 11, 2002: Message edited by: Victor Von MediaBoy ]


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nonsuch
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posted 11 March 2002 06:28 PM      Profile for nonsuch     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
A late development on the lead story:
Sources close to the X's indicate that there was no horse. The pile of equine manure in the back yard was purchased for gardening purposes (Mrs. X did not consider it important to keep the receipt); the freezer full of inexpertly-wrapped meat is moose, from Mr. X's previous hobby. (He has sold the guns through legal channels, but received payment in cash, which explains the absence of a paper-trail.) There was never any horse, and that's official.

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Michelle
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posted 11 March 2002 07:28 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Mr. and Mrs. G. get a used computer and a new scanner.

Mrs. G. wants to learn web design; she buys a $35 beginner's HTML book off the Internet, despite Mr. G.'s scepticism about spending that much money on a single book. Mrs. has a grand old time scanning pictures and making web pages, and has a half-decent beginner's website for friends and family to check out within a week of buying the book. Mrs. G. is happy with her new web design hobby.

Mrs. G. buys a cheap, outdated desktop publishing program on sale at an office supply box store for $30. Mr. G. looks askance at her indulgence when she brings home her purchase. Mrs. G. goes on to make every greeting card for every occasion for the next couple of years, homemade business cards for Mr. and Mrs. G., "for sale" advertisements for both Mr. and Mrs. G., and really cool-looking resumes.

Mr. G. also wants to have a computer hobby. Mr. G. has chosen collecting computer accessories as his computer hobby. So Mr. G. buys a CD burner (this was before they were standard) for $150. He buys a digital camera for $300. He buys a DVD drive for $200. He buys a new monitor for $400. Then he decides a couple of months later that the whole darn computer is just way outdated and buys himself a brand new system for $1,500, installing most of the peripherals mentioned above onto the new system (with the exception of the burner, since the new system came with a much more powerful one).

Mrs. G. still uses the old system two years later (along with the outdated but quite functional and fun desktop publishing program). Mr. G. has bought another new system since the last new system, and now has both computer systems set up and running in his living room.

Mrs. G. is now Ms. L.


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Tommy_Paine
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posted 11 March 2002 07:41 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Oh, and collecting - I collect half-finished knitting projects.

*chuckles*

Obviously, the lesson here is that couples should take up interests together.

What say we hit the local community college, Rebecca, and take up leather crafting?


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Michelle
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posted 11 March 2002 07:59 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Obviously, the lesson here is that couples should take up interests together.

Well, Mr. and Mrs. G. THOUGHT they were doing that...


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Tommy_Paine
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posted 11 March 2002 08:13 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
*sigh*

........that could happen with leather crafting too, I guess.


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Slick Willy
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posted 11 March 2002 08:15 PM      Profile for Slick Willy     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Mr. M met Mrs. M long ago when Mrs.M was Miss G and Mr. M was a long haired bassist who would do studio work for cash and stage work for alcohol and chicks. Miss G was a chick. Mr. M and Miss G hit it off and where soon to become Mr. M Miss G and young master ?

Quickly Mr. M and Miss G rushed to Pastor X before master ? started sticking out in a crowd and all became Mr. & Mrs. and young master M.

Mr. M cleaned up his act, got a hair cut and a real job, leaving the bass riffs alone to accompany truely aweful lyrics for the enjoyment of young master M.

As the years pass, Mrs. M tells Mr. M he would do well to take on a hobby such as some type of art.
Mr. M was happy the way things were but had no rest till he produced something for Mrs. M

So Mr. M spent $20 on old used table saw blades.
$10 on a dehumidifier motor and a gear.
$120 on copper tubing and joints, solder and flux.
Mr. M already had a nice torch and so saved a bit of money there.

Mr. M spent abot three days in the garage and would not let Mrs. M nor master M or even young Miss M who came along a few years before near the garage.

One fine Sunday while Mrs. M and the notorious M larva were out bothering nice people at the public park, the garage door opened and Mr. m sprung forth with "art" in hand and quickly moved to the house where he installed the "art" in he and his wife's bedroom directly over the bed where the ceiling light fixture used to be.

Upon the return of the M clan to the home, Mrs. M was quite surprised to find the garage door agape and entered the home to find Mr. M and gander upon the "art" she had inspired so long ago.

When Mrs. M entered the bedroom Mr. M moved with the speed of a gazelle to catch Mrs. M's jaw as it plumited floorwward. For you see she was quite taken-a-back by the mobile of death Mr. M had made out of half inch copper tubing and old saw blades that spun a little too fast and hung a little too low for any normal person to feel any amount of comfort around.

From that day forth, Mrs. M pumped out sketches and drawings and paintings on a very consistent basis and recited over and over, "One artist in the home is plenty."

Mr. M left behind his hobby and moved on to making a living and mowing the lawn.

tada.


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Michelle
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posted 11 March 2002 10:16 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Mr. and Mrs. M. seem to be quite the practical jokers! From Death Mobiles to rumours of drinking problems to claims of beatings...

Heh.

You sound like such a fun couple. You're gonna have a million stories to tell your kids.


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Rebecca West
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posted 12 March 2002 10:24 AM      Profile for Rebecca West     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
What say we hit the local community college, Rebecca, and take up leather crafting?

I'm game.

Actually, I have a women's clothing line made almost entirely of spandex, latex and leather in my head. Unfortunately, as my grade nine sewing project will attest, I can't sew worth shit. Perhpas it's time I learned.


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nonsuch
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posted 14 March 2002 10:21 PM      Profile for nonsuch     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
(pst. Rebecca. glue gun.)
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Rebecca West
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posted 14 March 2002 11:29 PM      Profile for Rebecca West     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I have a glue gun actually. Great for gluing pine cones on xmas wreathes and gluing models into your clothes when you show your stuff. This clothing needs to stand up to very "strenuous" wear. I was thinking stainless steel rivets
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nonsuch
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posted 15 March 2002 01:23 AM      Profile for nonsuch     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
yabut... Won't they want to undress sometime? Free bolt-cutter with every outfit? Sign them up for a really comprehensive dental-paln?
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Timebandit
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posted 15 March 2002 01:55 AM      Profile for Timebandit     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I've met designers like this.... Been glued into more than one outfit.... Never again!!!

The blond one has taken up woodworking, and has produced one very nifty toybox, and is working on a second. He has grand plans to tear down the old barn out at the farm, haul the reclaimed wood back to the city and build me all the funky furniture I want. Which is an exciting prospect.

But who knew how many devices there could be for doing this and that with woodworking? Drill bits for this and sanders that do that.... Mindboggling!

I refinish old furniture (and, one by one, the doors in our upstairs), all I need is a paintbrush, some stripper, steel wool and a little sandpaper...


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Rebecca West
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posted 15 March 2002 09:53 AM      Profile for Rebecca West     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
yabut... Won't they want to undress sometime? Free bolt-cutter with every outfit? Sign them up for a really comprehensive dental-paln?

Perish the thought. That's what the latex and spandex are for. The leather bits are ... embelishments, you might say. For those wimps who can't handle a fashion challenge, I suppose I could include some domed snaps or something ... it's not office wear, fer chrissakes, though in my perfect world it would be. Sort of puts a whole new spin on the phrase "power suit", doncha think?


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nonsuch
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posted 15 March 2002 04:21 PM      Profile for nonsuch     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I'm still working on that picture - say an open-concept IBM work-space. Quite a nice little antidote to depression, actually.
I see the outfits as mostly black, with studded leather accents. My mind keeps putting in flirty bits of brightly-coloured silk.

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Rebecca West
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posted 15 March 2002 05:08 PM      Profile for Rebecca West     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Or the colour could come from everyone dying their hair in primary and day-glo colours. Otherwise, black rules.
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