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» babble   » walking the talk   » feminism   » Is penetration sacred?

   
Author Topic: Is penetration sacred?
martin dufresne
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posted 02 October 2007 10:33 AM      Profile for martin dufresne   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post

COLLECTIF MASCULIN CONTRE LE SEXISME

I designed and distributed the above logo/sticker ("Penetration kills - AIDS - Montreal Men Against Sexism") four years ago to try and provocatively raise the issue of what appears to me like a symbolic investment/obsession with penetrating the body of others (by sex or intra-veinous injection) and its devastating effects in AIDS and other infectious disease transmission, unwanted pregnancies, rape, unsatisfactory sex, etc.

There are protections of course - condoms, fresh needles or bleach - but little research seems to address what appears to be the generalized refusal of people (mostly men) to use them.
Could this be because of the symbolic value of penetration as some kind of transgression of the Other's line of self/resistance (the skin), or the demand that s/he bypass self-protection as a sign of personal commitment to the relationship, of giving oneself over to the subject?

Anyway, this logo hit a nerve with indymedia audiences and local activists. It was denounced as being 'anti-sex' (as if sex = penetration, or as if all sex was Necessarily Good), as aligned with Bushian politics (as if anything but penetration = abstinence), etc. Very defensive...

It isn't either, IMO, and I still think the issue deserves closer attention, given the awesome statistics and life stories about the growing incidence of STDs, unwanted pregnancies, rape, unsatisfactory sex, masculinity as power over, etc.

Room for thought and action - and for reductive putdowns, unfortunately, so please try to resist that impulse, folks.

Thanks.

Centers for Disease Control Fact Sheets

[ 02 October 2007: Message edited by: martin dufresne ]


From: "Words Matter" (Mackinnon) | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
bigcitygal
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posted 02 October 2007 11:23 AM      Profile for bigcitygal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
First, I'm not sure the relevance for such an image in the feminist forum. I mean, must we insist on being phallocentric, always? I mean, I enjoy being bi, I love my male partner, but seeing that all drippy? Ick. At least shrink it down a bit.

Second, Dan Savage wrote a great piece about penetration and expectations years ago. Straight men had written to ask him why aren't straight women as open to casual sex as gay men seem to be? Forgoing the stereotypes about straight women and gay men, Dan answered that it's primarily because of sexism and sexual violence against women, risk of pregnancy, etc. More than that, however, is that with 2 gay men, both of whom have likely been penetrated in some way in past sexual experiences, they will be more likely to understand that penetration must be negotiated, not assumed. Ways to have sex, many of which don't involve any penetration at all, are more likely to happen with casual gay sex.

Dan suggested that straight sex would be more like gay sex if straight men (and our sexist world) didn't presume penetration when a man and woman have sex. I thought that was a brilliant answer.

That said, I agree with the concern about associating death with sex/penetration, as that does have a taint of being anti-sex. I'm also concerned about conflating risk of contracting HIV/AIDS through unprotected sex with the risk through sharing needles.

Also, penetration is not always about male dominance. Heard of pegging?


From: It's difficult to work in a group when you're omnipotent - Q | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
clersal
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posted 02 October 2007 01:01 PM      Profile for clersal     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
... but seeing that all drippy? Ick.

Yeah a bit like a drooling dog....


From: Canton Marchand, Québec | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
martin dufresne
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posted 02 October 2007 01:36 PM      Profile for martin dufresne   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Bigcitygal wrote: "I'm also concerned about conflating risk of contracting HIV/AIDS through unprotected sex with the risk through sharing needles."
To what extent do you feel that these risks are different?

P.S.: I also wish I could shrink the logo but it's on a website and I can't do that. If a moderator can do so, however, I concur.

[ 02 October 2007: Message edited by: martin dufresne ]


From: "Words Matter" (Mackinnon) | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
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posted 02 October 2007 01:40 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
At least shrink it down a bit.


Try posting a picture of Ernest Borgnine beside it, it always works for me.


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
CMOT Dibbler
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posted 02 October 2007 01:42 PM      Profile for CMOT Dibbler     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Also, penetration is not always about male dominance. Heard of pegging?


Does that hurt?


From: Just outside Fernie, British Columbia | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
martin dufresne
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posted 02 October 2007 01:49 PM      Profile for martin dufresne   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Bigcitygal also wrote: "I agree with the concern about associating death with sex/penetration, as that does have a taint of being anti-sex."

It should be possible to address this issue - the fact that a possible obsession with unprotected penetration DOES translate into unnecessary deaths - rather than whatever taint could be associated with a challenge to this, when it impinges on sexual habits? It would be a shame if any sexual behaviour or ideology was to remain untouchable for fear of one being attacked as "anti-sex".

Then again, must one necessarily always be "pro-sex" (whatever that means), or is that a knee-jerk reflex in the face of Conservative attacks on sexual reproductive rights? If it is true some categories of people are systematically, structurally hurt through sex, can we not take that into account, rather than taking the fundamentalist position that all things sexual (e.g. penetration) are necessarily Good - and if theyre not, well hey, they're just not sex? It seems to me that such an idealist position is no gift to the folks oppressed through sex.

[ 02 October 2007: Message edited by: martin dufresne ]


From: "Words Matter" (Mackinnon) | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
Cueball
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posted 02 October 2007 02:02 PM      Profile for Cueball   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post

From: Out from under the bridge and out for a stroll | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
CMOT Dibbler
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posted 02 October 2007 02:05 PM      Profile for CMOT Dibbler     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Ummm...
From: Just outside Fernie, British Columbia | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
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posted 02 October 2007 02:13 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Can we discuss the issue being put forward - the fact that a possible obsession with unprotected penetration DOES translate into unnecessary deaths - rather than whatever taint could be associated with a challenge to this state of affairs?

Maybe that's the problem with the logo, Martin. It's certainly evocative, but I think it tends to take attention away from the subject.

It's right to question why society, or segments of society are turning away from condom use, or not turning to it, when the dangers are still out there. And, it's quite right to point out that women seem to be, as usual, suffering the most.

quote:
Also, penetration is not always about male dominance. Heard of pegging?

Well, I think if the necessary equipment wasn't so damn expensive, I think a lot more people would have heard of pegging, particularly in the heterosexual demographic.

Treat that as a consumer complaint if you will. On the other hand, if the ensuing thought horrifies you, then don't.


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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posted 02 October 2007 02:13 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
Originally posted by martin dufresne:
Bigcitygal also wrote: "I agree with the concern about associating death with sex/penetration, as that does have a taint of being anti-sex."

Can we discuss the issue being put forward - the fact that a possible obsession with unprotected penetration DOES translate into unnecessary deaths - rather than whatever taint could be associated with a challenge to this state of affairs?


You know, you could always have the conversation with your reflection in the mirror if the female feminists on babble aren't discussing the issues you raise to your expectations or satisfaction.


From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
CMOT Dibbler
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posted 02 October 2007 02:14 PM      Profile for CMOT Dibbler     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Martin, our society may be obsessed with intercourse, intercourse may be the least imaginative form of sex, and many women may have terrible sex lives because of it, but to imply that penatrative sex automatically leads to death is rediculous.
From: Just outside Fernie, British Columbia | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
bliter
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posted 02 October 2007 02:19 PM      Profile for bliter   Author's Homepage        Edit/Delete Post
cueball,

True art. Devilishly delightful.

That first image? Shrunken or as is, crude, anti-male and deliberately offensive, in my opinion. Some may view it and see more than one drip.


From: delta | Registered: Sep 2007  |  IP: Logged
Cueball
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posted 02 October 2007 02:21 PM      Profile for Cueball   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I thought Martin's attempt at rendering himself a dick was quite good actually.
From: Out from under the bridge and out for a stroll | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
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posted 02 October 2007 02:25 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Given the gender ratio in this thread, I'd hazard a guess that penetration seems to be a male fascination. Here we are, hoist on our own petard.

Hmm. Yet another penetration reference.

If this were a cocktail party, I'd be the one slowly slinking away to have a smoke outside right about now.


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Cueball
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posted 02 October 2007 02:27 PM      Profile for Cueball   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
"If thine eye offends thee, pluck it out," is all I can say.
From: Out from under the bridge and out for a stroll | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
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posted 02 October 2007 02:33 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
I'm kinky, but not that kinky. Read about a guy who did that, though. One tough m/f, he was.
From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Cueball
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posted 02 October 2007 02:34 PM      Profile for Cueball   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Body modification is all the rage these days.
From: Out from under the bridge and out for a stroll | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
martin dufresne
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posted 02 October 2007 02:42 PM      Profile for martin dufresne   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
CMOT went: "to imply that penatrative sex automatically leads to death is rediculous."

Which is why I said no such thing and focused with my explanation on the attitudes which did make it - and unbleached syringe sharing - life-threatening.

Why is it that we can agree that "Speed kills", for instance, and say so in public service announcements, although it is clear that it doesn't always do so?

[ 02 October 2007: Message edited by: martin dufresne ]


From: "Words Matter" (Mackinnon) | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
Tommy_Paine
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posted 02 October 2007 02:42 PM      Profile for Tommy_Paine     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
removed for lack of timeliness. And irreverence. And because I stole if from a comedian.

[ 02 October 2007: Message edited by: Tommy_Paine ]


From: The Alley, Behind Montgomery's Tavern | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Cueball
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posted 02 October 2007 02:50 PM      Profile for Cueball   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
Speaking of untimely, and comedians, I found this the other day...

For some reason I am inspired to post it here, however.

[ 02 October 2007: Message edited by: Cueball ]


From: Out from under the bridge and out for a stroll | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
oldgoat
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posted 02 October 2007 03:16 PM      Profile for oldgoat     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post
quote:
First, I'm not sure the relevance for such an image in the feminist forum. I mean, must we insist on being phallocentric, always?

This is, or at least has the potential to be, an interesting thread. It also has the potential to go rather thither. Anyway, the subject can probably best be most fully explored in Body and Soul, especially given how it looks like it's going.

Moving to Body and Soul...


From: The 10th circle | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged

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