There once was PM named Martin
Wanted power so bad he was smartin
He was mean to his friends to achieve all his ends
And now from his perch he’ll be partin.

There once was a man from Shawinigan
Still thinking of ways he can grinnagin
In trying to woo Quebec voters he blew
The chance that Paul Martin might winnagin

Here's the one I need help with. I came up with a great opening but can't figure out how to close

quote:

---

Briguy: Goddammit! Nothing else rhymes with Martin.

---

quote:

---

Lloydminister

---

fart in
cart in (phrasal verb)
tart in
part in
Bart (Simpson) in
dart in (phrasal verb)
start in (phrasal verb)

Judes and skdadl, as for Lloydminster, BWAGA members should have thought of "spinster"

[ 28 April 2005: Message edited by: lagatta ]

quote:

---

There once was a smart finance minister
Who ignored all the things that were sinister

---

[ 28 April 2005: Message edited by: awkward silence ]

quote:

---

There once was a smart finance minister
Who ignored all the things that were sinister

---

I think the middle needs work.

[ 28 April 2005: Message edited by: Contrarian ]

But I also like "spinister." Great inspiration, lagatta. But what would Paul Martin have to do with spinsters?

The Minister of Finance was shrewd
Though his methods were often quite crude
He'd tell lie after lie
Interspersed with deny
And a smile, if he's in the right mood.

The Minister of Finance had brains
Which he used for political gains
But some scandalous ads
Plus his long list of bads
Will mean his legacy's all that remains.

Blair
Brown (not a candidate, obviously, but Blair's FM who wants the PMs job as Martin did Chrétien's)...
Howard
Kennedy
Galloway ...

Not to mention "liar" (Blair) and "bigot" (Howard)...

[ 28 April 2005: Message edited by: lagatta ]

quote:

---

Originally posted by lagatta:
NEP (New Economic Policy - in post-revolution Soviet Russia, allowing for small private firms)

---

bower
cower
tower

Edited to delete redundancies.

[ 28 April 2005: Message edited by: Contrarian ]

"There once was a smart finance minister
Who ignored all things that were sinister
'Though it was agreed
A law was in need
To punish those who would falsely administer."

[ 28 April 2005: Message edited by: Hinterland ]

quote:

---

Originally posted by lagatta:
Judes, does it have to be the Canadian political situation?

---

This was in the London Review of Books. Guy Liddell, then head of counter-espionage for MI5, wrote it in his diary in 1940.

"An elderly statesman with gout,
When asked what the war was about,
In a written reply
Said 'My colleagues and I
Are doing our best to find out.'"

[ 27 September 2005: Message edited by: 'lance ]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Raos:
There once was a great news broadcaster
And of Canuck truth it was master
But with workers locked out
We're all forced to shout
Can you kill public discourse much faster?

---

[Now, what rhymes with Stronach?]

[ 03 October 2005: Message edited by: West Coast Greeny ]

quote:

---

Originally posted by West Coast Greeny:
[Now, what rhymes with Stronach?]

---

go back, whack
monarch (use Bostonian accent)
"Stronach, She" with "monarchy"

downright entertaining!

[ 04 October 2005: Message edited by: mimsy ]

There once was a PM named Paulie

Who said "Let me be clear, by gosh-golly,

Carolyn's getting the sack

For that personal crack

Not for stomping that gawd-damn Bush dolly."

But Carolyn was very sore pissed

And her scorn for her old boss was grist

For the National Post hacks

And Parliament Hill flacks

And even Taber, who caught most of the gist.

"I'll be Independent" she vowed

"And to hell with Paul and his crowd;

For the budget to pass,

Paul will have to kiss ass!"

(But she might fall in line, she allowed.)

The night of the budget vote came

All were there, even halt, blind and lame

But when they moved to adopt

The "overthrow" flopped

For which Cadman got credit (and blame).

But it couldn't have worked without Jack

Who said, "Paul, here's the votes that you lack.

But I want social spending,

And unless you start bending

You'd best go to Sussex and pack."

So the government lived on a bit,

Operating in starts and in fits.

In spite of Stevie's hysterics

And dire warnings from clerics

An SSM law was at last writ.

But then came the findings from Gomery

That aired all this grubby Grit laundry--

"Paul is likely a goof,

But if he knew, there's no proof"

Which left Jack in a bit of a quandary.

"After making you share out the wealth,"

Jack said, "Paulie, I want to talk health,"

But Paul had got cocky,

Negotiations were rocky

So Jack said, "Paulie, go screw yourself."

"I can no longer support all these guys;

They're corrupt and tell outrageous lies.

It's their own grave they've dug

And I'm pulling the plug;

It's time that this Parliament dies."

Little Stevie was stricken with panic

This was not turning out like he'd planned it

"You do it! Not me!"

He said (wanting to flee,

For his poll numbers had him quite frantic.)

But Jack was much smarter than that

And smoothly avoided the trap

Of a Christmas election

By the simple suggestion

Of a vote after the holiday passed.

So now Stevie looks like a prat,

And Gilles grins like a Cheshire Cat.

Jack's smile is steady

As he says "If you're ready,

Let's flush out this cornered old rat."

.... and the game continues.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hephaestion:
Okay, took me awhile, but here goes...

*ahem*

There once was a PM named Paulie

Who said "Let me be clear, by gosh-golly,

Carolyn's getting the sack

For that personal crack

Not for stomping that gawd-damn Bush dolly."

But Carolyn was very sore pissed

And her scorn for her old boss was grist

For the National Post hacks

And Parliament Hill flacks

And even Taber, who caught most of the gist.

"I'll be Independent" she vowed

"And to hell with Paul and his crowd;

For the budget to pass,

Paul will have to kiss ass!"

(But she might fall in line, she allowed.)

The night of the budget vote came

All were there, even halt, blind and lame

But when they moved to adopt

The "overthrow" flopped

For which Cadman got credit (and blame).

But it couldn't have worked without Jack

Who said, "Paul, here's the votes that you lack.

But I want social spending,

And unless you start bending

You'd best go to Sussex and pack."

So the government lived on a bit,

Operating in starts and in fits.

In spite of Stevie's hysterics

And dire warnings from clerics

An SSM law was at last writ.

But then came the findings from Gomery

That aired all this grubby Grit laundry--

"Paul is likely a goof,

But if he knew, there's no proof"

Which left Jack in a bit of a quandary.

"After making you share out the wealth,"

Jack said, "Paulie, I want to talk health,"

But Paul had got cocky,

Negotiations were rocky

So Jack said, "Paulie, go screw yourself."

"I can no longer support all these guys;

They're corrupt and tell outrageous lies.

It's their own grave they've dug

And I'm pulling the plug;

It's time that this Parliament dies."

Little Stevie was stricken with panic

This was not turning out like he'd planned it

"You do it! Not me!"

He said (wanting to flee,

For his poll numbers had him quite frantic.)

But Jack was much smarter than that

And smoothly avoided the trap

Of a Christmas election

By the simple suggestion

Of a vote after the holiday passed.

So now Stevie looks like a prat,

And Gilles grins like a Cheshire Cat.

Jack's smile is steady

As he says "If you're ready,

Let's flush out this cornered old rat."

.... and the game continues.

---

Heph,

Edited to add: Maybe a few Babblers have some 'connections' in the media. Anybody?

[ 14 November 2005: Message edited by: West Coast Tiger ]

There was a cowyuppie named Dub
Who often did stumble and flub
'til they bought him a job
helping rich white guys rob
fleece and bomb half the world, "that's the rub".

George Dub says he's been "born again"
Thinks marriage for gays is a sin.
But his kids' rendition
of HIS old tradition
is to be nightly picked in gin.

See, that cowpoke's "no cattle, all hat"
Spent four years at Yale, passed out flat.
Daddy's friends greased the skids
For the fortunate kid
Then they throw out our votes, just like that.