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Author Topic: Strange jobs
flotsom
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posted 22 October 2002 03:07 AM      Profile for flotsom   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I'm sure that most of you have found yourselves in bizarre or unusual employment situations or perhaps you've found ways to turn tedious jobs into something else entirely, by your own wit.

A few examples from my own strange department: I've been an oyster farmer, personal trainer to Jarlo, the emotional camel of a travelling Mexican circus, and also the live-in caretaker of a spooky old morgue.


From: the flop | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
shelby9
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posted 22 October 2002 03:19 AM      Profile for shelby9     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Whoa - them's some interesting jobs flotsom!!

Can't say I've had bizarre or wierd jobs - but I was the cliched admin who was at the boss's wife's beck and call if she needed something.

Most teens when I was that age worked in restaurants or the like - not me, I showed horses for a living.

I typed out handwritten submisions for a Health historical book once - all 389 pages worth! It was a local project on the history of the local health centre. THAT was kinda fun!

Our school travel club catered a wedding to raise money. We also cleaned a feedlot and washed ridiculously high fuel tanks for the same cause.

But I wouldn't say these were wierd jobs, just out-of-the ordinary.


From: Edmonton, AB | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged
flotsom
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posted 22 October 2002 03:23 AM      Profile for flotsom   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Do horses like to step on guitars - like camels do?

Correction: that should read stand on guitars.

[ October 22, 2002: Message edited by: flotsom ]


From: the flop | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
TommyPaineatWork
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posted 22 October 2002 03:41 AM      Profile for TommyPaineatWork     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Oyster farmer? Didn't happen to have a carpenter and a walrus as partners, did you?
From: London | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Arch Stanton
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Babbler # 2356

posted 22 October 2002 03:58 AM      Profile for Arch Stanton     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You're freakin' me out, flotto. I've worked on an oyster farm too.

I've shovelled wheat, mud, clay, potash, dung, french fries, roofs, snow (duh!), gravel, sand, steel...all with pinpoint accuracy.

I've been a trained killer in Her Majesty's Service.

I've publicised Fringe Theatre.

I've branded and emasculated poor little doomed cattle....and baled their hay.

I've moiled for oil and natural gas.

I've roofed innumerable buildings.

I've been a pack mule, unloading boxcars and semi-trailers.

I've taught Shakespeare.

I've cleaned carpets and written for newpapers.

I've built tables for McDonaldcorp, banks, MoneyMart and investment brokers (and have not completed my penance).

I've harvested experimental (who knows what genes lurk in these grains?) malting barley and canola for university scholastic researchers and multinational agricorpses.

I've mown lawns and driven garbage trucks.

I had a paper route.

And all my life has been me asking, "Could I find my proper groove, What a deep mark I would make!"

So I chop and change, and each fresh move
Is only a fresh mistake.


From: Borrioboola-Gha | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
flotsom
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posted 22 October 2002 04:29 AM      Profile for flotsom   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Arch, something tells me that you're not anywhere near the end of this list.

No Tommy...there was a young fellow for whom the nearest village - about 40 minutes away by skiff - had drafted a bylaw stating that he couldn't laugh past eleven p.m. and the owner of the oyster farm license, a very reclusive Vietnamese man who had been an officer in France's Special Forces (Naval Special Boat) - and myself of course. Oh, plus fourteen cats (which I am allergic to) and two viscious pitbulls.

That was actually quite a heavy time and place.
The Natives of Meares Island had previously shot at the boathouse which was completely riddled with holes and loaded with fuel and on which I was living (to avoid the cats) until...well never mind.

Actually, things got ugly* and I missed a great oportunity to sail with the Sea Shepherds Society as Paul Watson is a close friend of OysterFarmer.

*Arch, do you know which sinister element owns ALL the processing plants on VanIsl?


From: the flop | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Arch Stanton
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posted 22 October 2002 04:46 AM      Profile for Arch Stanton     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Are they Greek?
From: Borrioboola-Gha | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
flotsom
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posted 22 October 2002 05:22 AM      Profile for flotsom   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Nope.
From: the flop | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Rebecca West
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posted 22 October 2002 09:40 AM      Profile for Rebecca West     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Worked on the line in a chocolate factory (ew)

Sold by phone: magazine subscriptions, lottery tickets, carpet cleaning, magazine ad space

Waited tables, tended bar

Cashier at: cafeteria, convenience store, deli

Did bookkeeping and taxes for: bar, private club, individual clients, husband's stereo business

Raised funds for Greenpeace, mid-sized theatre, community radio, university, Amnesty Int'l

Taught drama to children and adults

Taught ESL to adults

Taught 'Intro to the Internet' and 'How to Write for Radio'

Wrote: for community paper, for campus paper, broadcast news copy, 'zines, romance novel, fundraising material, smut, editorials, web site reviews

Organized: conferences, fundraising dinners, street parties, awards dinners, concerts, rallies, black tie cocktail parties, lectures, annual picnic, fun fair

And, oh gosh, I've LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. I'm very tired. Can I retire now? Please?


From: London , Ontario - homogeneous maximus | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
lagatta
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posted 22 October 2002 10:54 AM      Profile for lagatta     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Two art student ones. I had a job retouching photographs - now it is done by computer, of course, but at the time (in the 70s) state-of-the-art was using a fine pencil on negatives. I remember removing the spots from an entire secondary school graduating class.

And of course, as art students do, I posed nude for life classes. Not too many weird experiences there, the important things were not getting cold and not getting cramps in strange places. It could be a bit stranger for the young men, if they got a stiffie.


From: Se non ora, quando? | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
josh
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posted 22 October 2002 11:02 AM      Profile for josh     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 

Wouldn't turning the temperature down in the classroom solve that problem?


From: the twilight zone between the U.S. and Canada | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
paxamillion
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posted 22 October 2002 11:56 AM      Profile for paxamillion   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Then the issue would be shrinkage.
From: the process of recovery | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Timebandit
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posted 23 October 2002 06:13 PM      Profile for Timebandit     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Lessee, jobs...

First job was a dishwasher in a motel restaurant... Not very interesting. Then I took a job as a deli counter clerk in a small shop. By myself on weekends, from open until closing. It went under.

Got fired while waitressing at an A&W for dumping coffee on a patron (he asked for it, but that's another thread...).

Cleaned house for what passes for upper class in Regina, SK... Discovered that rich people can live like pigs, too.

Worked as a nurse's aide in a nursing home. Can't imagine how I got the job... 18, drama student, hardly qualified.

I was a role-play actor for RCMP Human Relations training, on and off for 8 years -- scenarios ranging from domestic disputes to hostage takings, death notifications, etc. Got to cuss out lots and lots of cops. Big fun!

Made a lot of low-budget local commercials.

Taught improv and acting to models. Also taught drama classes to kids for a while.

Sat as a nude life model.

One of the weirdest -- was managing a touring kids show on seat belts for the Safety Council, a seasonal gig... We traveled the province in a motor home, me and two actors. They cut my funds in the 3rd season, we couldn't afford the second actor, so I became "Larry the Crash Test Dummy".

Worked in customer service for a cable tv company, and was commandeered by the production side one Christmas to be an "elf" in the Santa call-in show with a drunken and libidinous Santa Claus who kept making really inappropriate comments on air... They needed somebody "feisty" to keep him in check and who could adlib easily...

Worked at WCB as a claims adjudicator, which wasn't weird in itself, but it had its moments, like the day I had to track down the cremains of a deceased worker from a fatality claim -- they were stolen from the funeral home by the ex-wife who didn't want his current common-law partner to have them. No, I'm not kidding.

My current job is on the odd side. I go around asking people for money so I can do something I really like to do. Sometimes I even make films.


From: Urban prairie. | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Briguy
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posted 23 October 2002 11:48 PM      Profile for Briguy     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I don't think mine are as strange as most:

I've slung fast food,
catalogued control valves,
dishwashed,
demolished a building (with a sledgehammer, not explosive),
shovelled pigeon poop,
ran the lighting for a musical dinner theatre,
jughounded,
measured the damage caused by trawling,
administered a UNIX system,
and then got stuck in the rut I'm still in
(banging rocks and reading wavy lines)

Edited:

I forgot my two worst jobs!

Vacuum cleaner salesman (yes, much self-loathing is involved in any such position)
Shelving distributor (the work was fine, but the warehouse with the shelves was a deathtrap...I feared for my life every day)

[ October 24, 2002: Message edited by: Sarcasmobri ]


From: No one is arguing that we should run the space program based on Physics 101. | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
skadie
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posted 24 October 2002 05:05 AM      Profile for skadie     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
demolished a building (with a sledgehammer, not explosive),

Cool.


Blackjack dealer, bicycle messenger, railroader. I guess I could throw in shorts stints as an infanteer, and a duct cleaner, and a librarians assistant too. And ofcoarse, retail, retail, retail. I've worked in every mall in the vancouver area. That was pretty strange.


From: near the ocean | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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Babbler # 560

posted 24 October 2002 01:30 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Church secretary for a Baptist church.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
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Babbler # 560

posted 24 October 2002 01:31 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
P.S. I'm moving this to "Earning and Spending" since it's about jobs.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Arch Stanton
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posted 24 October 2002 07:57 PM      Profile for Arch Stanton     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
They cut my funds in the 3rd season, we couldn't afford the second actor, so I became
"Larry the Crash Test Dummy".

I love this.

Zoot - "I'm no dummy, but I played one on TV."

You're much unlike me, as I have always worked like a dummy instead of working as a dummy.

I'll dummy up now....


From: Borrioboola-Gha | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Timebandit
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posted 24 October 2002 08:14 PM      Profile for Timebandit     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Arch --

Actually, that was kind of a fun job... Got to see the whole darned province, pretty much, and get paid for it.


From: Urban prairie. | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
WingNut
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posted 24 October 2002 08:35 PM      Profile for WingNut   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I was 19-years-old.

The Okanagan Valley, British Colombia.
For 9 AM I would open a building, sign out musical instruments to a bunch of army cadets and be back by 4 PM to sign them back in.

The rest of the day was pretty much mine.


From: Out There | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
flotsom
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posted 24 October 2002 09:34 PM      Profile for flotsom   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Off hand I can't think of a worse job than the week I had to give up my cushy floater at the spice plant - in the air-conditioned vanilla extract room (mmmmmm, vanilla) to fill in for a guy who worked on the crushed red-chilli pepper line. It was like getting bear-sprayed all day long. I would go through four, five boxes of Kleenex a day. It was an unworkable situation. I couldn't breath, I couldn't see, snot flying everywhere!

The first month I worked for this company I spent busting up their parking-lot with an heavy iron rod. That was perfect. After that, after I proved myself they moved me to the olive line, dumping four hundred pound barrels of olives. I used to move those things around with ease. I'd been on the line for only a few weeks when the maintainer got a DUI and took sick leave. There were two long-timers on the line, both ladies in their forties, and there was no way they'd be moving those drums so all the responsibility went to me. I was the boss. Both the ladies smoked as did I, at the time, so I took a lot of breaks to keep everyone happy, and we had a blast.


From: the flop | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Mandos
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posted 24 October 2002 09:44 PM      Profile for Mandos   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Spent a day scanning images from the Somalia Report to be placed online. Was sworn to secrecy about the contents until the report was actually delivered to Parliament.

Documentation writer and programmer for a firm that made printed circuit board design analysis/integration/translation software.

Programmer for a subsidiary of a big multinational, writing and testing parts of a major software development environment for Java.

Programmer for a medium-sized startup company (now on its way to a watery grave) writing personal information assistant software for cell phones and other low-capacity handheld devices.

[do we detect a trend here?]

Research assistant (er, sort of)

And, of course, professional student.

[ October 24, 2002: Message edited by: Mandos ]


From: There, there. | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Michelle
Moderator
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posted 24 October 2002 10:10 PM      Profile for Michelle   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Oh yes, I forgot to mention being a professional student.
From: I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
skadie
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posted 24 October 2002 11:48 PM      Profile for skadie     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Off hand I can't think of a worse job than the week I had to give up my cushy floater at the spice plant - in the air-conditioned vanilla extract room (mmmmmm, vanilla) to fill in for a guy who worked on the crushed red-chilli pepper line. It was like getting bear-sprayed all day long. I would go through four, five boxes of Kleenex a day. It was an unworkable situation. I couldn't breath, I couldn't see, snot flying everywhere!

Darn, I love crushed chillies. The vanilla sounds great though.


From: near the ocean | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
flotsom
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posted 25 October 2002 12:09 AM      Profile for flotsom   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Oh, but I was an extra-ordinarily conscientious worker, skadie - I was still a teenager - and I made darned sure that the goop flew only in the right direction.

Vanilla has psychoactive properties. I'm sure of it. The vanilla gig was hands-down the best job in the plant. Imagine going from the heat and dust and deafening roar of a plant full of archaic Dickensian machinery, imagine the soup-crotch - the heat was awful, truly awful...and then being posted to the quiet vanilla extract room.

vanilla

The smell of the stuff gets ya baked.


From: the flop | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged

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