quote:

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THE NAME

DonKey Punch (dong kee punch) noun.
1. A face melting four piece rock / funk phenomenon that will have you shitting you pants – in a good way. Influences include John Tesh, the B52’s and Supertramp.

2. A behavior altering alcoholic orgy for the senses consisting of one shot of Gold Tequila chased with a shot of Clamato –best served with a large bowl of cottage cheese – noun.

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Contact the band:

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

quote:

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Tempering their infectious sound over the past few years, this band has erupted from the Ottawa Indie scene and is moving with the momentum of a cannonball. This group has become well known for their honest, groove laden sound and animated stage show. As one local venue owner noted – “these guys spray rock juice with a fire hose”.

Donkey Punch takes a stripped down approach to songwriting, a blend of organic  guitar sounds with catchy lyrical hooks. DP delivers a mix of rock/root music that has never left and audience sitting down.

Having played well over 100  live shows since their inception in 2003, DonkeyPunch have enjoyed glowing press coverage. DP’s highly anticipated debut Album, “Yellow and Black” is in production and slated for release early this year.

They were thrilled to have been selected to open for 3 Days Grace and Thornley at the Alcatel Hope Beach Volleyball Tournament Summer Fest in July 2005. Following that, DP is looking forward to a great year of touring, recording and face melting . . .

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[ 09 March 2006: Message edited by: writer ]

When I was growing up, I was taught a nickname for Brazil nuts. I won't type it out here, but you can google for it. Just search Brazil nuts and then add the n-word.

Now, what would we think of a band that called itself the N-word Toes, even if they protested loud and long that they were just referring to the Brazil nuts?

quote:

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DonKey Punch (dong kee punch) noun.  

1. A face melting four piece rock / funk phenomenon that will have you shitting you pants – in a good way.  Influences include John Tesh, the B52’s and Supertramp.

2.  A behavior altering alcoholic orgy for the senses consisting of one shot of Gold Tequila chased with a shot of Clamato –best served with a large bowl of cottage cheese – noun.

---

Yes, it does read "cottage cheese - noun." Somehow they left definition #3 on the cutting-room floor.

[ 09 March 2006: Message edited by: writer ]

quote:

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Originally posted by cogito ergo sum:
To be fair, the band claims to name themselves after the Donkey Punch drink, not the sexual assault version.

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quote:

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Originally posted by cogito ergo sum:
I had heard of a donkey punch in reference to a drink before but I only learned of the sexual assault version today. That's why I think the band deserves some benefit of the doubt here.

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The only reason anyone deserves any benefit of any doubt - and I hae me doots that they do - is that general public awareness and shame over hatred of women is still so woefully low.

No one would dare to use a racial epithet so openly - and yet so many can still walk around in total innocence of a vicious joke about women?

quote:

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Originally posted by cogito ergo sum:
To be fair, the band claims to name themselves after the Donkey Punch drink, not the sexual assault version.

---

quote:

---

1. A face melting four piece rock/funk phenomenon that will have you shitting you pants in a good way. Influences include John Tesh, the B52s and Supertramp.

2. A behaviour altering alcoholic orgy for the senses consisting of one shot of Gold Tequila chased with a shot of Clamato best served with a large bwol of cottage cheese noun.

3. Extremely technical maneuver enabling heightened central sensory stimulation during the latter stages of fornications not to be used with any such farm animals but encouraged upon exposure to definitions 1 and 2 ver"

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quote:

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Originally posted by cogito ergo sum:
I had heard of a donkey punch in reference to a drink before but I only learned of the sexual assault version today. That's why I think the band deserves some benefit of the doubt here.

---

I'm not criticizing you here (more the band), but I think that's kind of like arguing that drink names like "Orgasm", "Sex of the Beach" and "A Slow Comfortable Screw" are not sexual references (even if you heard the drink name first).

quote:

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Originally posted by writer:
So it's true: definition #3 was left on the cutting-room floor! I am serious when I suggest that it should be A LOT of men e-mailing them about this. They obviously have an issue with seeing women as their equals. Maybe they'll listen to peers.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Mr. Magoo:
You're comparing a word (N-word) which is offensive no matter what it refers to, to another word (Donkey + Punch) which only become offensive when they refer specifically to an act. Neither "Donkey" nor "Punch" is equivalent to the N-word.

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None so blind as those who will not see.

Mr M, I am telling you that in Medicine Hat in the 1950s, a lot of people would have said there was nothing wrong with the n-word as applied to nuts. Nothing. People said it out loud.

They don't any more.

Guess how that happened.

quote:

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Originally posted by writer:
Do we have any takers here on babble?

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Just sent this to all three band members.

quote:

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Glad to hear about your cannonball-like momentum.

Who knows how much more successful you could be if you only dropped your name in favour of one that didn't promote violence against women (as opposed to "farm animals", which are apparently more deserving of protection).

You are an embarrassment to the male gender.

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quote:

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Originally posted by writer:
Do we have any takers here on babble?

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Sure, I'll send them an email. Listening to a few of their songs, their music actually seems pretty good, but I'd never buy an album or want to be associated with them because of the name. I think they're doing themselves a huge disservice by using it, and attacking their ability to sell albums or make any kind of compensation on their music might be the best way to attack them.

And thanks Scott and NW!

quote:

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Originally posted by NWOntarian:
They list their upcoming appearances -- anyone know how to contact those places and register a complaint with the venue owners?

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Good idea:

Murielle Varhelyi
Director of Entertainment
Barrymore's Music Hall
email: [email protected]

Eugene Haslam
Owner
Zaphod Beeblebrox
email: [email protected]

Danny Sivyer & Stacie Sivyer
Bookings
The Rainbow
email: [email protected]

quote:

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Originally posted by NWOntarian:
Listening to a few of their songs, their music actually seems pretty good, but I'd never buy an album or want to be associated with them because of the name. I think they're doing themselves a huge disservice by using it, and attacking their ability to sell albums or make any kind of compensation on their music might be the best way to attack them.

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quote:

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Originally posted by NWOntarian:
They list their upcoming appearances -- anyone know how to contact those places and register a complaint with the venue owners?

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March 10 Zaphod Beeblebrox (includes the owner's home phone number!)

March 31 The Rainbow (click on booking/contact)

April 15 Barrymore's

The Rainbow
76 Murray Street, Byward Market
(613) 241-5123
[email protected]
[email protected]

Barrymores
323 Bank Street
Ottawa Ontario
K2P 1X9
613-233-0307
fax 613-233-1362

Murielle Varhelyi
Director of Entertainment
Barrymore's Music Hall
(613)241-6235 (booking inquiries only)
(270)512-9835 fax
[email protected]

[ 09 March 2006: Message edited by: writer ]

quote:

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Originally posted by Accidental Altruist:

Heck, I've promoted a handful of shows in Ottawa. I'd hire 'em if they didn't have such a terrible, stoopid, ignorant & violent name.

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Agreed. I've helped promote a few bars here in London, and occassionally booked some talent for them, but I'd never have given a band with this name a moment of my time.

What I sent to the venues:

quote:

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Hello,

I see that the band DonkeyPunch will be performing at your venue on [insert date]. While I do like their music, I want you to know that I would never pay to see them perform at any venue as long as they retain the name they have chosen.

Perhaps you are unaware of what a 'donkeypunch' is? It is a sexual act that involves one partner punching the other in the back of the head or neck in order to make them 'buck like a donkey'. This is something that even professional boxing has outlawed because of the high probability that it will result in severe damage to the brain stem.

I urge you to reconsider your decision to host them while they continue to use this name.

Thank you,
[NWOntarian]

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quote:

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Hi Murielle

I see on your website that Barrymore's will be hosting a band
called "Donkey Punch" on April 15th. While I am a frequent
customer of both Barrymore's and the Aloha Room I won't be
attending this show. Donkey Punch refers to a brutal act of
sexual violence:

"The supposed move involves the male punching the female in the back of the head or neck immediately prior to orgasm, accompanied in most tellings of the technique with a victorious cry of 'Donkey punch!'. The alleged purpose is to cause the muscles around the vagina or anus of the female to contract around the male's penis, creating a supposedly enhanced orgasm for the male. A variation of the practice may be enacted to distract the female, allowing for the surprise penetration of the anus. It has been speculated the term may refer to the surprised female at this point "bucking" (like a donkey). [...] punching someone in the back of the head (rabbit punching) can damage the brain stem, causing death or permanent injury. It is illegal in professional boxing for this reason. The move is potentially prosecutable as sexual assault and, in the case of surprise penetration of the anus, rape."

The band has even promoted this defintion on their website.
I've attached a screen capture from their website which
contained the following:

1. A face melting four piece rock/funk phenomenon that will have you shitting you pants in a good way. Influences include John Tesh, the B52s and Supertramp.
2. A behaviour altering alcoholic orgy for the senses consisting of one shot of Gold Tequila chased with a shot of Clamato best served with a large bwol of cottage cheese noun.

3. Extremely technical maneuver enabling heightened central sensory stimulation during the latter stages of fornications not to be used with any such farm animals but encouraged upon exposure to definitions 1 and 2 ver"

Please cancel the Donkey Punch show. Ask the band to
change their name before you will consider booking them
in the future.

Thank you

~ ********* ~
Ottawa

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quote:

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The Donkey Punch is sometimes employed during gay sex acts. When going at it for a while the bottom of the “bottom” can get too relaxed, so the “top” can lose enjoyment. To orgasm, the man on top punches his partner really hard in the kidneys…so that he involuntarily clenches with the shock and pain…and the guy on top gets his rocks off.

Double-Tongued Word Wrester

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Misogyny is funny. Laugh if you aren't a humourless feminist!

quote:

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As the conversation went from personal, to serious, to seriously personal our conversation struck a nerve with Rachel. Rather than see her cry, I thought I would lighten her spirit by talking about the Donkey Punch. This act always horrifies people and I knew it would get her mind off of things.

I remember the first time I heard it. I was with my my friends Jacob and Michael about a year and a half ago. We were sitting around at Michael's watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Frat Aliens was the episode that changed my life. One of the Frat Aliens indicated that his name was "DP...short for Donkey Punch, man. You get it?" I obviously didn't since Michael was laughing.

On this particular Tuesday night with Rachel I decided to fill her in. "A Donkey Punch," I proceeded to say "happens when two people are having sex and one of them is getting it from behind." This is where Rachel's face began to show some real concern. She could sense what was coming like a disturbance in the force. I continued on, "Just as the guy is about to cum, he punches the girl in the back of the head and yells 'DonkeyPunch!'" Rachel's jaw sat on the curb outside the Mellow Mushroom. She wasn't laughing. Had I left something out? I began to go into more detail. "You see, supposedly, when he punches her in the back of the head the shock causes all of her muscles to tighten up and it's supposed to make his orgasm really intense, or something." I stare at her, unmoving on the corner of 21st and Grand. Finally she spoke. "Wait, you mean you're going to deny me my orgasm so you can cum in my ass and give me a concussion?!?!" I thought I was going to fall on the pavement I was laughing so hard. God bless her. She has a way of reducing things down to their most basic and black humored level.

What a beautiful mess

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[ 09 March 2006: Message edited by: writer ]

I've emailed all the venues. If I get a response I'll post it. Am looking forward to hearing how others fare.

quote:

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Originally posted by Accidental Altruist:

They used to quite gleefully promote the violent assault definition on their website. They even took care to warn against using the move on "farm animals". I guess they're sensitive to animal rights but not women's rights??

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[ 09 March 2006: Message edited by: writer ]

quote:

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Originally posted by kropotkin1951:
I have never heard the term before. ... Mind you I wouldn't have guessed what it meant without any context.

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Oddly, the only place I've come across the term is on Babble, from a couple of people who've showed up to troll with blatantly misogynist crap. From the context, I had a vague idea of what it was, but didn't learn exactly what until today.

Yeah, there's a long and not-always-so-proud history of sexual innuendoes in music group names -- sometimes witty, sometimes just kinda stupid but innocent enough. This one combines stupidity and meanness.

It bugs the hell out of me that the band, or a bunch of potential fans, might consider such a name "cool" for its shock value. Even more so if they actually make decent music, because then it would be music I might listen to if the musicians' desire to show themselves as juvenile assholes didn't get in the way.

[ 09 March 2006: Message edited by: Yossarian ]

quote:

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Originally posted by cogito ergo sum:
How/when did you get that screen capture since they've obviously changed it?

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The screen capture is from December. All I had to do was click the “print screen” button on my keyboard and paste the website's image into Word or Photoshop.

I did this because Donkey Punch band was playing the Black Sheep Inn, one of my fave venues. Coincidentally, the show was dated December 10th - which is International Human Rights Day. Paul, the owner of the Black Sheep had been unaware of the band’s namesake. When he learned of the connotation he took the show off his listings right away.

I thought the band might have faded away after the first wave of controversy but now they're actually releasing an album! Aigh!

And then I realize that even just reading about things like this makes me want to stab someone, and not in a jovial or "sexual" kind of way. I was reading the thread about the asshole who would come up behind his female coworkers and rub himself against them and I realized that if anyone EVER did something like that to me, I'd be going to jail for murder.

And more than likely it will be because I get a judge who can agree with the idiotic concept of male rage against simply being hit on by a gay man, and yet somehow think my grabbing whatever is within reach and bludgeoning/stabbing someone who is assaulting me is unreasonable.

I'm completely worried that I really will end up killing someone one day. I have already learned from past experience that I am perfectly capable of it (no, I didn't actually kill anyone, but I was 100% prepared to and it was an automatic response).

All that I can sincerely hope for is that if I ever meet the man who can not automatically sense that about me (and you'd be surprised how many of them can) that there is nothing within armslength that can be used in any way as a murder weapon.

quote:

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Originally posted by ronb:
Remember Toronto's very own Battered Wives? Me neither.

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I have a couple of their records. The first one was pretty good, I thought, despite the cover images of a woman beating up men.
I listened to the second one (Cigarettes, by "The Wives" now) once. Correction, I listened to maybe one side. It wasn't very good.

quote:

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Originally posted by al-Qa'bong:
Until this thread, I'd never heard of that donkey business. babble's quite informative

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Well, I don't suggest you try it out. ;-)

I'm still livid, and can't sleep. I'm thinking, "what if I started a band called 'BiteHisDickOff'? How funny would that be? You think they'd grok that?"

It's just astounding that you have to phrase things in terms that men understand viscerally sometimes.

Man, for someone who mainly reads and not posts, this sure has prompted a response and a half.

Edit: Also, I'm sure I have just rationalized that stereotypical idea of "feminist as angry man-hating shrew" as well for some people.

[ 10 March 2006: Message edited by: GigiM ]

quote:

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Originally posted by GigiM:

Well, I don't suggest you try it out. ;-)

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quote:

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Originally posted by al-Qa'bong:
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that anyone could do something like this.

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quote:

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1. A face melting four piece rock/funk phenomenon that will have you shitting you pants in a good way. Influences include John Tesh, the B52s and Supertramp.

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I think "Festival of Failure" would be a good one, since it's obvious that nobody would buy a fusion of John Tesh, the B-52s, and Supertramp in 2006.

For the next two weeks, every time you log on to babble, send a private message to two new babblers who haven't yet indicated they've written to this band and these venues about what Donkey Punch means to them.

If you know babblers who live in the Ottawa area, even better. Put a special emphasis on writing to Guys Who Get It.

Hello, you! I'm writing about an issue that's come up in this thread:
http://www.rabble.ca/babble/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=24&t=000975

There's this band that's named after a horrible, abusive attack some might call sex. Some of us babblers want the band and the venues that support it to know that this is not cool.

If you go to the thread, you'll see more background and contact info for the band and the venues.

Are you game to let them know there are guys who get that misogyny is not new, not exciting, not rebellious, but is instead, like, totally stupid?

I think you are!

I'm at my cousin's house for dinner, she saved me a press clipping from page D3 of the February 23rd issue of The Ottawa Citizen:

"Donkey Punch Leads Groove Co-op"
by Fateema Sayani

quote:

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... Sometimes the image gets created for you, as was the case earlier this year. Regulars at the Black Sheep Inn protested when they heard Donkey Punch would be playing at the venue. Some peope found the name offensive. A Wikipedia reference describes donkey punch as a violent sexual act, but the band says they weren't aware of that when they came up with the name.

They cribbed it from a shooter a couple guys enjoyed on a night out in MOntreal. It's a shot of tequila chased with a shot of Clamato (which sounds equally offensive). They cleared up the matter by letting their detractors know their band isn't about being chauvinist and tried to distnace themselves from the minor controversy, though they have no plans to change the name of the band. The words Donkey Punch bring back memories of camaraderie - and that's what they're about.

"If you support an image that isn't yours, it's exhausting," Carty says. "We just have to be ourselves."

---

I can't link to the whole article because I don't have an Ottawa Citizen online account - but that's all the relevant bits anyhow.

#1 I'm aquainted with Fateema. I'm a bit disappointed she's stated in her article that the clamato/tequila combo is 'equally offensive' to punching an unknowing sex partner in the back of the head. I guess hipsters will go to great lengths to maintain their cred?

#2 The band hasn't 'cleared up the matter', they've ignored most of their 'detractors' and hoped the issue would just go away.

#3 I think I went to highschool with Scab! Maybe we were in art class together geez it's a crazy small town. If he is indeed that fellow from art class then he's old enough to know better than to play in a band called freakin' Donkey Punch.

quote:

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A Wikipedia reference describes donkey punch as a violent sexual act, but the band says they weren't aware of that when they came up with the name.

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Non. Sense.

I agree, first off, that this is an insane thing to name a band. Hopefully, no reputable record label will ever want to promote a band with this name; the controversy is too serious, and it's the wrong kind of controversy too...i.e. in music, certain kinds of controversy are ok, but this kind...not so much...

So I agree, terrible name.

However...it makes me wonder. These guys are using an offensive, misogynist term for their name. But...there are a lot of artists now and in the past who have done so in their lyrics. I could probably write pages and pages of artists who have said sexist things in their music...

So...what do we think about that? I don't want to re-hash an old debate we've had on babble before about freedom of speech, or whatever...but I would suggest that the violence and sexism that Poison, or Eminem, or Snoop Dogg (and many others) encourage in their lyrics is no less unsavoury than a band calling themselves Donkey Punch.

quote:

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Originally posted by MartinArendt:
However...it makes me wonder. These guys are using an offensive, misogynist term for their name. But...there are a lot of artists now and in the past who have done so in their lyrics. I could probably write pages and pages of artists who have said sexist things in their music...

So...what do we think about that? I don't want to re-hash an old debate we've had on babble before about freedom of speech, or whatever...but I would suggest that the violence and sexism that Poison, or Eminem, or Snoop Dogg (and many others) encourage in their lyrics is no less unsavoury than a band calling themselves Donkey Punch.

Fyi, there's a second band named donkey punch.

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quote:

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"what if I started a band called 'BiteHisDickOff'? How funny would that be? You think they'd grok that?"

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I personally wouldn't find that offensive at all.

But, as a victim of two rapes, I can assure you that Donkey Punches, under any circumstances,
are not funny.

I live in TO, and promote bands for a living. I just cannot support a band with this name.
I know, you are thinking, who cares huh? But one day, if your daughter, or future daughters,
become victim to males who think knocking a female on the back of the head or kidneys is extra fun, you'll be running for the shears to cut that assholes dick off.

I wish I could promote you, but I can't. Donkey Punch is so totally and completely offensive
to females, and maybe you don't care, thus the name, but if you do, please do something and change the band's name.

I can attest, in all honesty, being raped and donkey punched by some sick fuck is never funny. And the name Donkey Punch is about as cool as calling your band Niggers. I hope you get what I'm saying.

quote:

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I understand that to you perhaps, Donkey Punch is hilarity X2.

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quote:

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Originally posted by voice of the damned:

Umm, are you talking to me? Because I certainly didn't say I found the Donkey Punch name funny.

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quote:

---

I assume that was the letter she sent to the band...

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Ah, yes. It all makes sense now.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Accidental Altruist:
fyi: your link isn't working.

But yeah, I heard about that band. I'm concentrating my efforts on the Ottawa-based Donkey Punch. Thanks!

---

That's strange...I just clicked on the link and it worked for my computer. Well, it doesn't matter. You can google them and they'll show up.

And yeah, I guess it would kind of be a moot point to try to boycott a band like Poison at this point...they're kind of their own worst enemy!

But as Stargazer already said. Even if it were to become more gender neutral (which might mitigate the visceral reaction I have to this term – although the aggressor would always need a penis so maybe this isn’t possible) it would still be a term that glorifies and normalizes non-consensual sexual violence.

And that's just not on.

I haven't heard back from ANY bands or venues I emailed about this. Have any of you received a response yet? Are people still spreading the word or have we moved on to the gender-neutral pronoun thread?

quote:

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Originally posted by Accidental Altruist:
I haven't heard back from ANY bands or venues I emailed about this. Have any of you received a response yet?

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I got a response from Zaphod Beeblebrox's.

quote:

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I have previously discussed the band's name with them and am convinced that their name does not in any way refer to anything but a shooter drink that they based it on. I appreciate your concern and perhaps I would agree with you if I felt in any way that the band is inciting violence against anyone. I would strongly suggest that you take some time to meet these fine musicians. This Donkeypunch kicks ass onstage!
Cheers,

Eugene Haslam/ Owner

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quote:

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DP's highly anticipated debut EP, “Yellow and Black” is DONE!

EP RELEASE PARTY,
NOT TO BE MISSED,

FRI. MARCH 31, 2006

---

BTW, I confirmed that Donkey Punches are known in the context of gay sex (assault) a while ago (see above alternate defition).

[ 17 March 2006: Message edited by: writer ]

I stumble on the defences I've read from people like Eugene who said they are "fine musicians".

Reminds me of this email I got a while back from the band Lure who are affiliated with Donkey Punch:

quote:

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In passing I asked the guys what the name meant, and they kinda joked about the meaning, I never really bothered to look it up. I just went and looked it up thanks to you.

I have many female friends, and they know me well enough that if our band chooses to play with other bands with questionnable names would not affect my relationships with them. Besides the guys in DP are actually nice guys. I am in no means supporting the act of violence against women, but I dont mind the music.

I am not terribly bothered by someone using the name, I mean, shock value can sell a name and/ or get it noticed. I would never play in a band named donkeypunch , thats for sure...

I think its the bands call , even if it causes a stink. It may cause problems for them further on down the road, but that is a road i will not be on.

take care,

Peace,
Marc

---

I just received the following e-mail

quote:

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It's fianlly ready Scott

It is with great pleasure that we announce the release of Donkeypunch's much anticipated EP. For an occasion so monumental that the fall of the Berlin wall and the release of KFed's album will pale in comparison, we will be throwing a little get together to celebrate. In addition to a great atmosphere and some face melting tunes, there will also be an opportunity to buy our shit. Be one of the first to get DNKY PNCH's "Yellow and Black" at the EP RELEASE PARTY hosted by The Rainbow and sponsored by Jose Cuervo, Friday March 31st. Below is the what's what:

The Rainbow
76 Murray St - the Byward Market
Friday March 31st
Doors Open at 830
$5 @ the door

Now this day has been a long time coming. Venues have been played, fans have been won, drummers have come and gone - a couple times. Finally we combined our grass cutting, beef jerky eating contest and babysitting money together and - like real musicians - went to a studio to record the tunes you guys picked.

Upon listening to "Yellow and Black", my mom would go on to describe it as "better than a moustache ride from Magnum PI". After swallowing the throw up in my mouth I humbly thanked her and retired to my bedroom where I could quietly cry myself to sleep only to wake and start planning its release. With review like that - how could we not.

We have pulled out all the stops to make this night more fun the ball room at IKEA as it is as much of a celebration as it is thank you for all of you who have made it possible. This night will leave you with the sense of satisfaction one would receive after encouraging a tranny you met at the 7-11 at 3am to join you in a duet of Louis Armstrong's "It's a Wonderful World".

We know we'll see you there - Luv DP

CHECK US OUT SUCKA!

Brad Alford: Guitar/Vocals
Tel: 613.238.1011 x 2301
[email protected]

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I sent a one line reply

quote:

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Hey, Misogynist Boy, did you actually READ the message that I sent you?!?

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