This office, though run by men, has several young women working there who will, in all likelihood, become pregnant at some point. I want to tell all of them what almost happened to me but am afraid that I will suffer some consequences if I do this. I also want to shake the six male partners who run the show, well, write them a letter, actually, and tell them how wacky they are.

I know that a lot of workplaces put a lot of formal and informal pressures on women to not become pregnant.

I think what you should do is document, document, document. Write down every conversation you and your mother have had, with who, and with dates and times (a pain in the ass when you're ill, but try). Write down as much of the conversation, and in as much detail, as possible, and print it out immediately (in case your computer crashes over the next year) and keep it in a safe place.

I'm not sure, but will you also need a record of employment from your employer for EI, after your illness leave ends and your maternity leave starts? If so, and if they hassle you then about it, tell them in no uncertain terms that they have to provide a record of employment - it's the law. If they say again that they don't know whether or not you will be "needed" after your maternity leave, here's a page to print out and give to them: Click! Highlight the relevant parts.

Document that conversation too. If you don't get an ROE at that point, then give these nice folks a call and they will send you complaint forms to fill out. (It actually doesn't look like a very difficult process - they seem to help you throughout the way in doing it.)

If they don't hassle you at the time of your maternity leave, but then when it's time to go back to work, if they don't let you come back, document that too. And then file a human rights complaint.

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Originally posted by Michelle:
It's the worst time of all to have to file a human rights complaint, isn't it, with all the busyness that comes with pregnancy (and soon childbirth and raising your munchkin).

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Just hold on to the thought that having a kid is a normal human event, that wanting to work outside the the home is normal and human as well - and that wanting to do both is completely, absolutely legit - no matter what some people seem to want to make you think.

I've been there (I didn't go back to the same job - I found a much better one), and like skdadl, I think it's hard to envisage going back to work in a place like that: what if you decide (horrors! ) to have another baby a few years down the road?
Maybe the best thing would be to make a big issue out of it - make them sweat - if only for the sake of others and the principle involved, but to plan on moving up and out of there. It will be their loss.

[ 29 September 2005: Message edited by: brebis noire ]

There are two issues: how it affects me and the implications this has for other women in their employ. (As Brebis noir indicated.)

Michelle, I have the ROE, and all is straight with EI for a seamless transition from sick leave to maternity and then to parental leave. (My mother spent an hour and a half on the phone with an EI rep straightening all of this out.)

As far as lodging a human rights complaint, I had not thought of that. It sounds like the right way to go, however, in the end, nothing was actually done to me - they provided the letter I needed. I wonder if I could make a case for the stress they caused me. I also wonder if their actions could constitute constructive dismissal in that they will have made it so uncomfortable for me to even return to work at all.

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Originally posted by Sisyphus2:
I'd also like to throw this out there (and perhaps the mod would like to move this to a more appropriate thread) but I am nearing 30 and have yet to have any children of my own. I am still working on a degree and I would like to eventually have children, but it's things like this that make me start to question that. Do any of you think that perhaps this is why the birth rate in Canada is decreasing or why many women are deciding to have children later in life? Just a thought. I know I'm starting to think that a couple of dogs may be the route I take. Sad state of affairs in 2005.

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From personal experience, I can't help thinking this is the case. When I hit 28, I remember thinking, omigod! - there's never going to be a good time to have a baby. The only reason I went ahead with it was because at least I had the relationship part of it down by then. When I had a second kid at 32, I noticed that the doctors were treating my pregnancy as slightly more at risk than four years previously, strictly from a medico-statistical point of view.