Back when I was in minimum wage retail hell, most of my friends had the same type of job, whether it was part-time while they were in school, or, like me, full-time after leaving school. (Boy, nothing'll convince you to finish high school like working some horrid cashier job full-time for minimum wage.) And often, when we'd get together at a pub, we would tell all sorts of war stories from the front (cash register) lines, and we were merciless in our assessment of dorks we had to serve at our jobs.

I think part of the reason we felt so much contempt for so many of the customers was because our jobs sucked so badly (and were so poorly paid) that it was hard to give people the benefit of the doubt when they were the 50th person to trip the pet peeve button. When I think back, I realize a lot of my pet peeves were kind of petty and not overly charitable. So please, no lectures in this thread about how horrible we are for wishing something large would drop on the head of some idiot fishing out 32 cents in nickels and pennies with a long line up behind them. I know they're people too, and I know I've occasionally committed the idiot customer crime.

So anyhow, let's start off with the classics:

"Oh, wait, I have the 32 cents!" Great when you need change, not so great when you just want to get the transaction over with and the person is holding up the line.

Another favorite: people who put coins on the counter instead of into your hand. I even had the occasional customer who would toss it onto the counter casually. With those people, you feel like tossing their change onto the counter instead of placing it in their hand. I actually got the nerve to do that once or twice, and it just felt so taboo and rude - but satisfying, too. They actually looked up at me as if to say, "What the hell?" But what did I care - I was getting paid six bucks an hour to put up with their thoughtlessness, so screw them.

Coming into the store two minutes before closing and wandering about looking for stuff past closing time. (Or better yet, as I'm locking the door, coming out of their car and asking if they can get "just one little thing".) Excuse me, asshole, but I don't get paid past six, and believe me, I don't feel like volunteering my time so you can pick out just the right loaf of bread (it was a bakery) after 10 minutes of thoughtful reflection. Buzz off!

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Coming into the store two minutes before closing and wandering about looking for stuff past closing time. (Or better yet, as I'm locking the door, coming out of their car and asking if they can get "just one little thing".)

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Augh!!! Flashback! Flashback!

I worked in retail for over 8 years, and got that one all the time.

Oh! Oh! How about "Do you take debit?" when there's a HUGE FRIKKIN SIGN saying what plastic the store takes.

We'd always ask if the customer wanted a bag, as a small way to reduce landfill garbage. Then the store got paper bags. Customers would become WRACKED with CONSTERNATION like this was the biggest decision they would make all day. "No, I'm fine. Oh! No, can I have a plastic bag? No, paper. No, plastic..." by which time I would want to put a bag over my head and end it. Or stab them with a pen.

Which reminds me, there was a pen GLUED to the counter for the signing of credit card slips. So of course the inevitable "Do you have a pen?" and I would point at the pen. (I found that saying "There's a pen on the counter" was not effective. No joke!) They'd reply "Oh, ha ha, silly me!" as I sat there, smiling like but really feeling like

The first case, a woman ordered a grilled cheese sandwhich. I give a note with the words "Grilled cheese sandwhich" to the chef. I bring it to the customer five-ten minutes later... the chef made grilled cheese with bacon. She can't eat the bacon because it's pork (must have been jewish). I'm later told off by the manager that the types are grilled cheese sandwhiches and grilled cheese sandwhiches without bacon. Well, actually, everywhere I've seen since... it's in fact grilled cheese sandwhich and bacon grilled cheese sandwhich.

I come in one shift and a customer ordered decaf coffee. There was no decaf coffee left by the previous staff so I make some fresh one, while serving the other food. A few minutes later as I'm pouring the decaf coffee into the mug, the customer comes up to me and says the wait was unacceptable and that she had complained to the manager.

And about half an hour later, "David, there's been a lot of complaints, A LOT of complaints, and I don't think it's gonna work out."

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My favourite response to the question of "how long will the computer be down" was "it will take me a lot longer if i have to keep answering this phone"

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A woman came up to the pharmacy counter and said, "I'd like a book of stamps, please." When I replied that I didn't sell stamps, she drew herself up with indignation and retorted, "You don't sell stamps? What kind of a store is this?"

Other customers paused in the aisles to watch this confrontation. I deadpanned, "This is a drugstore, ma'am. We sell drugs."

Any annoyance I felt with that lady was offset by all the people rolling in the aisles at my reply.

"The oreos are supposed to be on sale, aren't these the ones on sale? No, no - you can put them back for me dear".

"Jeez, HOW much was that bag of oranges? I thought - well never mind - no, I will just put those back."

"This blouse has a button missing - do I get a discount?" (No, you can have one of the undamaged blouses over there...what? They don't match the button you have in your friggin pocket? And they aren't discounted - too bad!)

"Hi dear, I am sorry, I found this tucked away in housewares - there is no tag and I can't find anything like it and I simply have to have it" Then after countless trips to the back and finally getting management to pin the price at $13.99, you get "oh....it's not worth that! Never mind then".

I don't mind these people early in the day, but after six hours of plastic smiles and sore feet, you just want to reach over and give the a forehead smack with your scanner thingy.

BL

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Customer: I'm looking for the song "I Just Called to Say I Love You" on an album, but I can't find it in the "Stevie Wonder" section.

Scott: That's because the song hasn't appeared on any Stevie Wonder albums. The only way to get it on an album is to buy this [hands him LP off front rack], the soundtrack from "The Woman in Red".

Customer: What are you, stupid? I asked for Stevie Wonder, not some "Woman in Red"!

Scott [very slowly this time]: The song hasn't appeared on any Stevie Wonder albums. The only way to get it on an album is to buy the soundtrack from "The Woman in Red", on which the song appears.

Customer: Oh.

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Years later, I found the words that I really wished I had said, in the book/movie "High Fidelity".

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Customer: Hi, do you have the song "I Just Called To Say I Love You?" It's for my daughter's birthday.

Barry: Yea we have it.

Customer: Great great... Well, can I have it?

Barry: No, you can't.

Customer: Why not?!

Barry: Beacause it's sentimental tacky crap that's why. Do we look like a store that sells "I Just Called to Say I Love You"? Go to the mall!

Customer: What's your problem?!

Barry: Do you even know your daughter? There's no way she likes that song! Oh oh oh wait! Is she in a coma?

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I remember even trying to exchange my money at a bank in NYC once - early 90's? I think the manager asked me where the money was from. I told him it was from Canada, "six hours north of here". He shook his head. They couldn't do anything for me.

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Originally posted by jas:
Yeah, the US$ exchange thing was my singlemost pet peeve. I can't go south and expect retail clerks to accept, let alone give me the proper exchange on my Canadian money, but somehow we were supposed to honour the US dollar.

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Originally posted by jas:
Even today, I am never quite sure which is the more polite: it seems to me that assuming skin contact with the clerk might be violating their personal boundaries? If they hold their hand out, I put it in their hand, but I don't know if I'm supposed to drop it in their hand without touching their skin (or whether that seems uptight or impolite), or whether the minutest brush of finger tips on palm tells them I am not afraid of their germs, and therefore we are equals and I don't pity them their occupation... If they don't hold out their hand, I put it on the counter. Some seem to prefer this.

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Hee! That's the most awesome post I've read all day - I'm totally tickled. I think you're way over-thinking it.

Okay, a serious answer. As a cashier who worked for four years with other cashiers and knew a bunch of cashiers, I think I can probably be 99% sure that almost all cashiers would rather you put the coins into his or her hand rather than onto the counter where they have to pick them up coin-by-coin. (That gets tedious after the 11,000th transaction.) Even if they don't hold out their hand first (perhaps it feels rude to stand there with your hand out - denoting impatience or something?), just offering the money in your hand in the "dropping" position shows that you're willing to put it in their hand if they wish, and you can quickly move to putting it on the counter if they don't hold their hand out at that point.

As for whether to touch the person's hand with yours or drop the change into it, I personally didn't care. The money is what is filthy, and the brush of fingertips isn't going to make a difference one way or the other when you're handling money all day. I mean, if you're obviously using the situation as an excuse to grope the cashier's hand then sure, that's a boundary issue, but the normal touching of finger tips when exchanging money never bothered me. I can't speak for everyone, of course. I didn't care either way, as long as they weren't tossing the coins on the counter! Grr!

jester, we don't see eye to eye a lot of the time, but that was an awesome thing you did. Good for you. Some people are such jerks.

I Worked late into the evening on a cooling tower at Foothills hospital in Calgary, & decided to pick up some dinner rather than cook, so I stopped in at the subway around the corner from my house. There was a lady in front of me, ordering three subs. She was on her cell, asking whoever was on the other line what they wanted on their sandwiches (obviously her kids, as it was taking forever for her to get an answer from whoever she was talking to), and barking instructions at the lady behind the counter. While I thought this was extremely rude, I tuned her out & waited my turn. The gal behind the counter is just wrapping up the last sandwich and the customer freaks out, and demands that two of the subs be re-done because the counterperson had brushed the sandwiches with her shirt while wrapping them up. The counterperson looked stunned and the b**ch says "you heard me, make me new sandwiches now, and hurry up, my kids are hungry" or something to that effect. The counterperson complies, and now the customer is doubly as rude, and seems really annoyed that she has to repeat her order. She pays and storms off.... and I ask the counterperson if that happens often... she says it happens all the time. I said that's unbelieveable & Left her a $5 tip.

I worked in resturants (the evil cousin of retail) back in my university days. I worked both in the kitchen and out front. Here's my little list....

- A table asking to put a rush on the order because they have to go to the airport/dentist/movie theatre. Then they order a well done sirloin steak or 1/2 chicken, the most time comsuming items on the menu.

- Customers who would seat themselves and pick a dirty table. Then they complain that the table is not clean. Well geez, if you read the sign at the entrance and WAITED TO BE SEATED, I would have found you a clean table.

- Bored pre-teens who would mess up with the s&p shakers and jams. What's worse are their WalMart shopping parents who do not disipline them.

I have more as my war memories come flooding back.

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If I experience an inconsiderate customer like the one at Subway I would make some snarky remark to her. As much as the counter person would like to put her in her place, she still wants to keep her job. It is us, the normals, who have to tune in these rude customers.

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Yeah, change in the hand. Money's filthy, so you wash your hands before you smoke or eat anything on your break.

My brother worked at the Worlds Biggest Bookstore for years. One day during the Christmas rush, I dropped by to get a book and see how he was bearing up. He came rushing over to me, his arms and the front of his shirt stained with newsprint and said, "Do me a favour. Say, 'Isn't this the world's biggest bookstore?'"

So I said in a whiny customer tone, "Isn't this the world's biggest bookstore?"

I used to work the night shift at Subway.
About 20 minutes after close, I had the lights off, the door locked, the food put away and was counting the money. The Open sign is off. Two people appear at the front door and pull. Then they start banging loudly and gesturing as if it's an emergency. I finally go to the door to see what's up.
"Are you open?" they ask me.

I have no patience and inform them of all the visual cues which would indicate that we are closed, including the hours of operation. "well can you make us a sub?"

Well that's it. My last fantasy that Canada and Canadians are somewhat different, somewhat more polite and decent about these little social transactions.

Well, if these responses are any indication, than this is one social facet where we have deep integration.

(don't hit me)

Other than the folks that worked at restaurants, I've pretty well dealt with everything else mentioned above in my last year in retail (My God, its been a year this Aug. 8!)

Shudder.

Of course, this was a strange situation for me to find myself in after years in the media. But this job has had its moments and I'm trying to chalk it all up as a learning experience. Either that or I'm paying back a lot of bad karma.

Having said that, a few observations.

Be careful "going there" on the counting change issue. Why? Let me ask you a question. Which age demographic is far more likely to count out every friggin' penny while they are seemingly oblivious to the line forming behind them?

See, I don't want to seem ageist. . . .

But the issue of cheques crosses all demographics. Let's write a cheque, shall we? OK, first, wait in line with the chequebook secured. Next wait until absolutely everything has been tallied up and you are given a final cost. THEN and ONLY THEN fumble for the chequebook, ask for a pen (we have about 50 on the counter) and then begin to slowly, painstakingly, write. . .your. . . cheque. . . in excruciating. . . longhand. . . while the line grows longer. . . and longer. . .and then take another minute to pry your driver's license out of your pocket or purse. When I see someone whip our a chequebook I'm often tempted right then and there to yell "could I have some help at the register" because I KNOW what's about to happen. And I feel powerless to stop it! But the drugs are starting to work. . .

No one has mentioned kids yet. Shall we?

Its Saturday and who needs to go to the park when you've got this huge kids books section that you can unleash your screaming terrors while you bury your face in something else. After all, the employees will watch your kids won't they.

Oh yeah, we'll watch them as they
1. Break merchandise and store fixtures.
2. Run into other customers
3. Poop on the carpet (twice so far)
4. Play in the water fountain (you wouldn't believe it unless you saw it. You CAN stand in those things!)
5. Beat each other up.
6. Throw tantrums
7. Throw up
8. Throw food
etc.

But hey for some people being a parent of small kids means never having to say you're sorry or actually PARENT. No, not all parents are like this, just too many.

By the way, if you think Canadian paper money is dirty, try the US version. Real dirt rags, lemme tell ya. I wash my hands after every register shift.

And yeah, people throw money at me all the time and I'm not even dancing or taking any clothes off. Occasionally I throw it back at them (when they're not looking).

Another favourite trick to play with particularly difficult customers is the "play stupid" routine. This is comparable to answering a question with a question. But you have to look and sound sincere and have a helpful face. Eventually the customer gets frustrated and wanders off. I can be very stupid sometimes. Its quite liberating.

Cel phones. Its like an old line: enter talking. I've had customers enter the store talking on cel phones. They'll carry on a conversation while they ask me to find a book for them, they they'll talk on the phone around the store and they're still on the cel phone when I wait on them at the register - and they of course, they leave the store still on the same conversation. Its truly a sight to behold. I am in awe of the concentration of such people. Rude? Nah! They are the multi-taskers of the brave new generation. One day I want one of them to get up to the register and be on a cel phone and then I get to whip out my own cel phone and call my mother while I'm processing their order and giving them change.

Seems only fair, eh?

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Originally posted by jas:
Yeah, the US$ exchange thing was my singlemost pet peeve. I can't go south and expect retail clerks to accept, let alone give me the proper exchange on my Canadian money, but somehow we were supposed to honour the US dollar.

I remember even trying to exchange my money at a bank in NYC once - early 90's? I think the manager asked me where the money was from. I told him it was from Canada, "six hours north of here". He shook his head. They couldn't do anything for me.

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Stupidity ISN'T confined to retail alone folks, although it IS fun to reminisce about working retail in my youth.

I was visiting relatives in Copenhagen, Denmark. My auntie owned a small kiosk in the central railroad station that sold merchandise similar to that of a variety store /souvenier shop.

I recall a little old southern american lady approaching my aunt, with several postcards she wanted to buy. She had an AMERICAN note in her hand. My aunt, whose english was mediocre at the best of times, asked me to explain to the nice american lady that the Creditkassen was just across the way and would be happy to exchange her american currency. I complied with my aunt's request. The american lady, with a look of UTTER DISGUST, said the following:

"Why can't the whole world accept American money, it would be SO much easier for us Americans".

Now, my Danish skills weren't great, but I did my best to translate the woman's remarks to my aunt. My aunt EXPLODED in Danish.. with a tirade that lasted a good 15 seconds.

The american lady looked perplexed and asked me what my aunt had said.

I said (LIED) that the Creditkassen was just across the aisle and we would hold her postcards for her while she exchanged her currency.

Amazingly, she did (I doubt she bought my Lying translation and actually had a pretty good idea what my aunt's tirade was about).

LMAO.... man, that scene sticks in the old memory. My auntie actually told her (in danish) to go f*** herself and called her an arrogant american! ROTF.

Like I said, stupid people aren't confined to retail and cousin sectors.

I work in Construction (off topic a bit, but an amusing story anyhow) and we tend to have to close roads on occassion.

I was working at Toronto General a few years ago and we had to close (for short periods) Elizabeth Street so we could move "tables" (forms for slab floors) from one story to the next.

Usually, it took less than 5 minutes per section.

Now pedestrians have a habid of being HARD HEADED. It is like the world stopped revolving on it's axis if they are in ANY WAY INCONVENIENCED.

I had to STOP one lady from walking underneath a 5 ton table, as she had ignored all instructions and walked around the barricade.

She complained that she had less than five minutes to be at an appointment.

We had setup a detour for pedestrians and I suggested she use it. She FREAKED OUT that she would be late.

I said "lack of proper planning on YOUR PART does NOT constitute an emergency ON MINE".

She didn't appreciate that, used the detour and then, on her way back, dropped into the site office to complain about how I treated her.

The site manager told her that I had, in NO way, been rude to her and that my company would certainly NOT discipline me for what I had said.

She left, IN A HUFF....

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Originally posted by Américain Égalitaire:
Its Saturday and who needs to go to the park when you've got this huge kids books section that you can unleash your screaming terrors while you bury your face in something else. After all, the employees will watch your kids won't they.

Oh yeah, we'll watch them as they
1. Break merchandise and store fixtures.
2. Run into other customers
3. Poop on the carpet (twice so far)
4. Play in the water fountain (you wouldn't believe it unless you saw it. You CAN stand in those things!)
5. Beat each other up.
6. Throw tantrums
7. Throw up
8. Throw food
etc.

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I worked in a library and it was the same way. Parents would let their kids run around and do all sorts of stuff. Once a kid pulled a whole shelf of books on to his head. As I was picking them up the parent gave me a look like it was my fault somehow. My reply was to say "Yes, it would be great if you helped clean up" She was so shocked she helped me clean up. The look on her face was priceless.

I'm pretty sure his intention wasn't to make the person's life miserable - he probably thought maybe it would make the person genuinely laugh and feel good. That's what I thought at the time too, and I thought it was kind of a cute idea.

The woman the temp agency sent looked to be about seventy years old but she gamely put on the suit and banged the drum and was drawing quite a crowd.

Then she fainted and fell on the floor, breaking the drum and apparently traumatizing several toddlers for life.

The poor woman was drenched with sweat and bright red when we got her bunny head off. After resting a few minutes my boss decided to send her back out on the floor to give out the coupons while another employee carried the head and stood beside her. Swear to God.

Dumbest guy ever: I found a wallet on the floor of the drugstore where I worked. The wallet contained credit cards and a drivers licence, and I discovered its owner had had prescriptions filled at our store, so we had his phone number in our database. I called him and he came over almost immediately.

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Originally posted by otter:
Lol... while on the other side.... i popped into a 7/11 one evening and was amazed to see a lineup of half a dozen folks at the counter while the sole clerk was on the cell phone throughout it all. I figured it must be the boss or family stuff. Until a went back a month or so later and encoutered the exact same scenario with the same clerk

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Ha! Near my cave, we've got two convenience stores. One's a Mac's (big chain) and one is a market run by Afghani brothers who crack me up. You'll stand at the till, put your things on the counter, and wait for one brother or the other to finish his MSN chat or browsing on the computer behind the till before being served. It's often a one-Mississippi minute before they acknowledge you're there, and the shopkeep is always spaced out and distracted while dealing with your business.

It's not really annoying - more like a running joke now for the residents of my 'hood who choose to support the tiny market instead of Mac's. I've got a little sick respect for service people who realize they don't need to kiss your ass for buying a litre of milk and chips at 1AM.

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One customer actually threatened to sue the store because she had brought her children to see the bunny and now they knew the bunny wasn't real.

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The best corn I ever got was when I was buying for a large group, and was getting 2 dozen ears. The guy gave me a box and I just piled them all in without checking. When we finally peeled them, they were beautiful.

Back on topic: I worked for a major drug store chain for 12 years and now work part-time at a small store, and have found that the customers are much better behaved at the small store. Over the years I have witnessed so much assholish behaviour at the store where I used to work, and at places like Zellers, and wonder if something about large chain stores brings out the worst in people.

[ 31 July 2006: Message edited by: Sineed ]

Towards the end of the night (and when the beer gardens would be closing) there would always be some ass who would try and 'cut a deal' for the stuff that was left at the end of the day. I would never cut a deal with them, and they would start ranting and raving about how it would go to waste, and how I was soooo stupid for throwing it away rather than getting at least some money for it. I can't possibly imagine what moron would want to buy 20 corn on the cobs, fully cooked, wrapped in tinfoil, at 2 in the morning, especially as they were 2 bucks each (in the late 90's), or a dozen cold corndogs for 3 bucks each. I think it was the whole ego thing of trying to 'save money' at the fair.

What do people do when you're waiting in line and you're standing behind a rude and impatient customer? I never know what to do. If I'm in a coffee shop, I end up giving that person an extra tip.

I used to work at a food court restaurant (hungry X-mas shoppers are the worst) and I had this person call us to make a reservation. I tried to explain to this person that since we are situated in a food court, there was no need to make a reservation. But she was livid, and was screaming at me. She said she would never dine at our restaurant again.

[ 31 July 2006: Message edited by: glacier76 ]

What I don't get is how does random chance pick the first person to break the customer dance and make it to the counter?

That was going to be my explanation too before I got to it in your post, AE. That everyone runs for the cash when the first person does because they're afraid that it's starting to get busy and they want to get in while the getting's good.

Did this many a time, and never once had a complaint lodged against me.

Yeah, I can see how no one would complain. After all, who would they complain to? The only staff I generally see at busy nightclubs are either servers, bartenders, coat check people, bouncers and DJs. Unless you happen to know who the manager is, I don't see how you could find the bartender's boss in order to complain.

I think that most of the posters are talking about their own rude obnoxious behaviour. You are probably too young but for those of us over forty there is something particularily galling about dealing with a teenage store clerk who believes they know everything and old people are addled.

I understand that when a person is drunk or has the munchies that the food simply cant get there fast enough. But it got tiring when people would argue the time on the printout on the bill as for how long it has been.

Me: Sorry were closed for the evening.
Custie: Oh, well all I want is a coffe.
Me: Well the coffee machine has been cleaned and the old coffee has been dumped so sorry.
Custie: Well how about a danish, their sitting right there.
Me: Sorry the cash has been put away for the evening, I can't make any more sales.
Custie: Oh, well what time do you guys close around here?
Me: At 6
Custie: But it's only 5 minutes after 6.
Me: Well that's still after 6 isn't it. Right. Have a great evening.

So, seeing as I had to deal with this so often as a waitress, you'd think that I know what it's like to just want to get the hell off the floor and go home at the end of the day. Not to long ago though I felt the shoe on the other foot.

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Originally posted by 500_Apples:
Did you tip?

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I think that most of the posters are talking about their own rude obnoxious behaviour. You are probably too young but for those of us over forty there is something particularily galling about dealing with a teenage store clerk who believes they know everything and old people are addled.

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The Men Des air string machines are easy to turn on and off. A cut off switch is easy enough to install, or you can just pull out the air hose. These machines are prone to getting the strings on the pins to tangle. Sometimes tangles are more complicated than most if more than two pins are involved, or typically if you throw a really hard, fast ball like me, you can get more than one knot After someone got a ball square off the ankle from someone not paying attention, most people learn to untangle them from on top the machine by laying or kneeling on them and reaching around. The closest call I had using this method was one time during Cosmic Bowling with loud music and lights, someone threw a ball, and one of the pins flew across, and the string wrapped around my watch, which thanks to that watch, probably saved me from getting a sprain. Well, needless to say I got very mad. I yelled "f'in a'hole" so loud apparently the customers could hear me over the music. I came running out from the back in less than 30 seconds after that to give whoever did that hell. Well, he had his shoes off, on my counter and was out the door before I got there. I had to laugh.

The last thing I'll bring up was this one family that came in one to three times every weekend for around a two or so month span. They would drop around $100 every time they came in. The thing about this family was, they would reek. I mean, they were so bad, I would put them on lane 1, and the parents in the party room on the other side with only a door's length opening would make comments. They pretty much wore the same clothes every time they came in. I made a comment to a co-worker when one of them changed it up once. This is was a two-floor bowling alley I was working in at the time. One time when we didn't have a party going on in the room, I set them up on the far lane closest to the room, and henceforth, closer to the stairs going up. Despite being around 15 meters from the top of the stairs, I could smell them half way up. Anyway, an owner of another alley I worked in told me after he could smell someone a couple of meters from them, and then their feet ruined a relatively new pair of shoes, that if they came back in anywhere near the same "condition", to tell him to leave, and not come back until they've had a shower. With that in mind, I asked the owners if I could do that for this group after I explained the situation about them, and the reactions I got from other customers, and staff that either had to serve them drinks, or would come up from downstairs for whatever reason like making a reservation in the book. They said no.

After a month, I was really starting to get sick of their smell. Our chemical guy who sold us our shoe spray and cleaning chemicals came by some time during the week, and asked us to try out this air freshener. It was this thick, orange smelling stuff. Police would use it in places that had a dead body. The typical commercial use for it was for getting rid of the exceptionally bad smells that would sometimes go on in dumpsters. And it did a great job with our dumpster. When I would run by them on the way to fix a machine, I would spray this stuff on my way back. Besides not being a very good hint to them, their smell would overtake the sprays’ in less than 10 minutes. Not a word of a lie.

The snack bar/bartender who also worked the kid’s parties once asked me "How can they afford to drop that much money every time they come in here?"
I went "With the amount of money they save on soap and water, how could they not afford it?"

Summertime a few years ago and it was a hot, humid, rainy Central Canadian day. A customer had come into the place I worked and asked for a product and was told it was directly down the aisle but she couldn't see it. She then came up to me and said "Look I am hot, wet anfrustrated can you help me!?"